And this is where I’m really overdoing it.

Such a long day, after such a long weekend, and I have so much left to do.

I really just don’t have an idea of how many free hours I’m going to donate this week;  I hope that eventually I’ll reap the benefit of it.

Recap of your year month-by-month.

January:  wintertime in the new place in Norfolk.  I was still working in hell, but I was taking full advantage of the ability to go to and from home on weekdays. at least some of the time.  It was incredibly cold, and it snowed a bunch.

February:  Sarah’s preparations to leave, and I was digging hard looking for a new job.

March:  Sarah came up north, and I continued toiling away in the freezer box where I was.

April:  I got fired.  I also got a replacement job in pretty short order that’d allow me to work from pretty much anywhere after a week’s training on the sinister coast.  It was contract-to-hire until they won the recompete.

May:  I moved north.  I’d heard nothing from the company who’d hired me about preparations for the training on the west coast, so I started looking for something else.  I got an offer on the something else that, while not what I really wanted, would have paid the bills for a bit.

June: After failing to find something different to avoid the job I’d received an offer on, I started there.  This was after I’d finally gotten in touch with the recruiter from the west coast thing.  Turns out they’d lost the recompete, and were scrambling to figure things out.  So I started the job where I’d gotten the offer.  For a change, I had my own cubicle.  But I wasn’t sure that I was really going to like the work.  There was one guy there who I’d worked with before.  I was starting to put some of my experience to use when I got a surreptitious email saying something along the lines of, “I’m not supposed to talk to you, but you need to email this guy.”  While I was composing the email to that guy, he phoned me, and offered me a job with the company that’d won the recompete.  So, eight days after I started at the place I didn’t want to be, I gave notice, and left.  June would have also been my first missed Tysabri dose, and I was not feeling well because of it.  I did see my neurologist at Georgetown for the first time, a week after I’d missed my scheduled Tysabri dose.  The neuro I’m seeing is the lady I’d seen when I came up a couple of years ago looking to be a test subject for whatever MS research they were doing.  She was excited to have me after I’d tried, and failed, to get in with the cutting-edge myelin repair work at George Washington.

July:  Independence Day saw me getting a round of IV steroids. because of the missed Tysabri.  Finally did get the dose two weeks after the round of IV steroids.

August:  See my writings from then, please.

September:  Finally started to get things straight with my medical stuff.

October:  So much work.

And, yeah, this is half-assed.  I’m sorry.  Or not.  My mother is here for Thanksgiving, so I should go be social or something.


What would you do if someone just gave you $1 million?

In a flippant response, I initially typed, “QUIT.”

No, actually, I probably wouldn’t.

I like what I’m doing too much, even after the eleven hour shift on Saturday, and hair-ripping frustration with a project today.  My eyes are swimming, and my shoulders hurt.

But I like it.

This is a good situation for me, far better than the shit I’ve dealt with for the past five-plus years.

Maybe the migration away from that endless streak of bullshit is the reason I’m in such a positive mood?  Maybe it’s also why I have zero desire to visit Norfolk.  Things turned sour so radically that I wonder if they could ever be okay there, again.  I know my wife wants to go back, and I understand why.  I hope she understands why I can’t find the smallest motivation to.


Like Jay Cutler.

What else is there to write about?  I’m not really sure.  The Saints laid a serious beatdown on the Iggles yesterday afternoon.  Alex Smith with the compound fracture in this leg;  ick.  Or seeing the Not-Don’t-Care Bears beat up on the Vikings.

I really still hate the 3-4, but that was a good game last night.

Tonight’s the Chiefs at the Rams.  Could be fun.

If I can stay up.


Just as I’d been congratulating myself for sticking to this, getting everything togerher on-time, I totally spaced on it until I was already in bed last night.

Another incredibly busy day working, then calculating the particulars of Thanksgiving.

I guess we’re going to my SIL’s family’s gathering.  That means I don’t have to cook.


I was actually sort of excited about doing that.  My wife isn’t a big turkey fan, so I probably won’t have an excuse to try doing it again this year, unless I get the call to do Christmas dinner.

That said, the incredible success of the homemade prime rib might get calls for that, instead.

It’s fine, though.

I may have to revisit some of my prompts for later in the month, when I’m discussing Thanksgiving plans, and results.

On to yesterday’s prompt…..

What was the last thing on your mind as you fell asleep last night?

These sheets are really warm.  I wish the air coming through my mask was similarly warm.

It snowed here, Thursday, probably more than people had expected.  Very cold in the house, which I don’t like.  For whatever reason, they like to keep this place colder than I would.  Maybe it’s for the benefit of one of the animals, but I’m not going to ask.  It’s just impetus to get out.

I did find some promising landing targets.  They probably aren’t what Sarah’s looking for, but they’re where I’d be, again, comfortable.  Maybe.  Is that even possible?


Update:  As of 7:05 this morning, the network seems to be back in the office.  

Anger is an interesting emotion.  Especially when it needs to be contained at work.  So yeah, that’s what’s going on today.  Seems my boss might be about double standards and well, I’m not okay with that. 

He made me come in the office today for a meeting and then told me that I could take off early to go vote.  Today he changes the meeting so that I can’t leave early.  On top of that, he added a conference line, even though he told me that it is easier to have this meeting if everyone is present.  So what am I supposed to think about this now?  I guess I am somehow a lesser part of the team.  Well if that’s the case, if/when something interesting comes along, I will feel no allegiance here.  

Did make it home in time to vote though.

Until tomorrow…


So today was a day of unexpected events. 

Someone in my family showed a side that they don’t normally show, to someone who everyone else in the family believes is undeserving of that kind of reaction, myself included.  I find it hard to have a soft spot for someone who I could easily say is pure evil. 

On top of that, the workday did not go as planned.  About 2 hours into my shift, the phones and the network went down.  We tried to set up a hotspot on a phone and that worked okay, but around the middle of the day, we were told to go home and telework.  When a coworker tried to video chat with me, we discovered that my laptop camera doesn’t work.  So that’s another thing I will have to take care of I guess.  I think my coworkers may try to help me figure that out, which hopefully they can and I don’t have to go through IT because I know that will not be a quick process. 

I am also wondering if the trip into work in the morning will be pointless or not.  Hopefully they have restored service and we can all get back on a normal schedule. 

And people wonder why I don’t like surprises.  

Until tomorrow…


So I am late on this one.  There was a lot going on yesterday, and I ended up getting side tracked.  It did give me an idea about what to write about though.

How do you deal with difficult feelings?

There is something going on in my family right now, and I did not react to it the way a normal person would react to something like that.  After realizing that, I began to feel guilty.  Then I questioned why I felt so guilty.  So yeah, that is the where I am at.

How do I deal with difficult feelings, not very well.

Until tomorrow…



Has it really been a year already?

This year I am going to try something a little different.  I am going to try and come up with a topic on the day I am writing and not go with a premade list of prompts.  We are going to make this artisanal as possible.  (Yes, I am part of the millennial generation.  Deal.). It’s going to be very Mark-esque from “RENT’.  “From here on out, I write without a script, instead of my old shit.”

So today, I think I will tell whoever is reading this a little about this past year.  There have been many changes and most of them were unexpected.

We had a blizzard in Tidewater, something that hadn’t happened in I don’t even know how long.

The bigger news from that day was I received a tentative offer from a government job that I had only interviewed for the day before.  I have been with them since March and plan to stay with them until the foreseeable future.  I enjoy the work and I enjoy the company I keep in the office, mostly.

With this offer came one of the scariest changes of my life so far, moving away from home.  Tidewater had been home for almost 18 years of my life, so moving to northern VA was not something I looked forward to, especially not alone, which is what I had to do.  Eventually Sean followed and we are currently residing with is brother and his brother’s wife while we get our bearings up here.

I try to go home every couple weeks, but I know as winter comes, that will get harder and harder.  Still not sure what the holidays are going to entail and that is a first for me, because my parents used to be a 15 minute drive away.  Now it’s more like 4 – 5 hours.  I enjoy being on the road by myself.  I can think, sing, and just be myself and no one really cares as long as I maintain my speed.

I have started using my FitBit regularly and am seeing results with that.  Since August, I have dropped about 18 lbs.  I need to be more disciplined in my dinner ideas and my weekly workouts and then I think I will be able to create my ideal body, or at least something closer to it.

I think that is enough for now.  Until tomorrow…