Day Four

Since I don’t have a tome for either, I’ll try to address both writing prompts. Instead of an extra hour of sleep, I’ll attempt an extra few minutes of writing.

1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?

At this point, normalcy. It’s very absent for anyone with somewhat fragile health. I have my soulmate. I had professional potential (though I have my doubts about it since my vision started going). The routines in life, however, are gone — possibly forever. I can’t know on a day-to-day basis how I’m going to feel, whether I’ll be up to whatever I have planned.

That’s put a strain on many other relationships I had. My wife is understanding; she sees what’s going on. Others don’t. But I don’t look sick! Yeah, and you don’t look stupid; looks can be deceiving.

I don’t feel comfortable around other family members for other reasons, too. There’s been a lot of bereavement in the past few years. Nothing, other than this little apartment with my wife, feels like “home.” When we stayed with my mom last year during Irene, it just felt strange. Visiting my grandfather and uncle after my dad died felt strange.

Thanksgiving with her parents will be a bit more comfortable (I am starting to feel a bit more at home at her parents’ place… has taken six years, but….), but I’ll be worried about what my mom is doing.

2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs.

Uhhh…..I have MS. I have lots of “strange” things. Some of them aren’t terribly noticable if you’re not paying attention. My left foot doesn’t point straight ahead. My gait is weird. I can’t run at all. My eyes do weird dances. Restless Leg Syndrome? Uh, no. But I do have similar twitches.

I also have “angry hands.” I do do this thing where I interlace my fingers when I’m frustrated with something.

Yeah, time to post up, and try to sleep. Aint’s aren’t until Monday night. But watching Eli Manning beat the Falcons will suffice.