Not Getting It

Follow-ups to yesterday’s entry.

I get why everyone interviewed is upset. Suicide is horrible.

But there’s something big missing from what these amazingly-knowledgeable educators absolutely are missing.

.

.

These ardent academics blamed everything they could think of for these suicides. Except for the policies they fucking set that sent people into unnatural isolation.

I really haven’t felt myself needing additional human interaction, but I’m weird. I know that. I admit that.

I can go weeks at a time without face-to-face contact with others. When I was in college, much of my time was spent by myself.

I’d have one or two breaks an hour in the middle of the night. I’d listen to the stations’ programming in monitors while I was doing my college research, and writing papers.

But I’m fucking weird. Most people can’t do that. On my nights off work, about my only interaction would be with the clerk at 7-Eleven or the diner.

Whatever. I’m comfortable with that. Most people aren’t. Most people can’t deal with just being completely without seeing others smile more than a few times per week.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the lack of minority representation among your faculty. It’s not because of systemic racism.

You did this; this is your fault.

I’m sorry if saying that bothers you, but it’s the truth. There’s people, including more than a handful of your students, who are dead directly because of what you did.

But you’ve got lots of letters after your name, so you can’t be responsible for anything bad. You’re a good person, and you were only looking out for others protecting that from a virus that probably wasn’t going to kill them, or cause significate harm.

You did this. You are responsible. Admitting your culpability is the first step in not repeating the mistakes you make. You did make them. I know I did. I admit them.

Maybe if I’d been rich, healthy enough to buy more, I’d feel absolved.

Back On Track

I think my jaunt to the Gulf Coast in a few weeks is the only thing on my calendar to which I’m really looking forward.

Maybe I did reword that sentence because I was thinking of something.

Kind of distracted this week with an insane work week for both me, and my wife.

Focus kind of disrupted by news from my old boss, who I’d emailed with an odd story about a radio tower being stolen in Alabamastan, about the death of the co-owner of the radio stations where I’d worked pretty much through college, and for a souple of years after.

Lisa was always very nice to me, and I’m very sad she’s gone. The first time I went back to visit after I’d left for the wild world where I’ve been for almost twenty years, she saw me in the lobby, and excitedly waved me in to her office.

How do you like your new job?!

I really like the work I’m doing. Not very happy with the company, but doing interesting work.

Her (then newly-ex) husband chimed in wryly, “They’re missin’ payroll.”

Um.

Yep.

I don’t know that I’ve got a ton here about my travails that’d follow with that company. I’m not dissatisfied that last news I had about he company president, he was living with his daughter in San Diego after his hippy wife had left him.

No, I’m not going to withdraw the aspersion about her. No shit, he actually was making business decisions based on what her medium in Sedona had instructed.

All that said, I was able to gain some knowledge while dealing with that less-than-ideal situation. Hopefully it’s served me somewhat later in my work life.

Towards the end of my time with that company, I was cashing my paycheck at their bank, then driving to my nearest credit union an hour away to deposit the cash.

Travelling on a crowded Interstate with hundreds of dollars in your pocket is more than a little uncomfortable.

But I got through it all. While I have some ill-will, none of it is directed to the radio world I left in 2005.


Listened to this during the first part of my writing.

I understand where Stockman is coming from, and generally agree with his analysis. I don’t agree that RFK Jr. is the answer.

Vote against the worst.

Looking at what’ll be on my ballot in November,

  • Biden
  • Trump
  • RFK Jr.

Cornel West might well be on the ballot. The Libertarian Party likely won’t be because of the unmitigated disaster the Mises Caucus has unleashed.

Much like I would have if I was voting in the Nevada Republican primary, I’d probably vote “none of the Above.”

I should go try and prepare some for that big football game that shall not be named.

Don’t really care who wins. I’ve felt that way this entire playoff.

Skeptical Sunday

Finishing up Things Fell Apart Season 2. I understand where he’s going with it, but I guess I see a bit of a middle way with it?

Okay, there’s overreactions, certainly.

At the same time, if you’re writing something, and you portray yourself as a “thought leader,” you have to assume that there’s some gravitas that goes along with that.

If you don’t know, or wouldn’t ever do those things, you shut the fuck up.

If you can’t help yourself, you have to repeatedly add disclaimers in and around what you say.

Maybe it’s even more important when you’re with a governmental, or quasi-governmental body.

My reaction to so many of these things lately, especially when people are calling for untested policy prescriptions, is you’ve decided you’re not going to try to convince me to do what you think would be best. You’ve snitched. You’ve called the cops. Down to the point where the cop shoots me, I want you to speak through the sequence of events.

Taking things to the bitter end state makes people really uncomfortable.

But it can eventually help. Okay, Ms. Real Estate agent, you’ve scored this house for me in a teaser interest rate. What happens eighteen months from now when I can’t make the payments after the rate’s reset?

I’m sorry I made you do math. I know you didn’t do well on that in school. To be honest, neither did I, but I got enough of it to buy a Science degree.

Of course, you don’t focus on worst-case scenario when you’re trying to make the sale. But it there’s a catastrophic result as a possibility, you have to lay that out, show mitigations against it, and show its likelihood.

*yawn*

I’m gonna go take a nap.

Turned Out The Shmoo

Wrap up in a sense.

My legs really weren’t working well yesterday morning, so forewent the talks, and just guzzled coffee (and this very strange gluten-free cranberry-orange muffin) in seating area up front. Telmnstr found a few people he knows, and Squidly1 floated in for a few minutes.

It was fluttering snow…and, as I said, I wasn’t working well physically (and I’m still not a day later), so I cancelled my short-bus ride, and grabbed a ride back to my perch inside the Beltway Swamp

We watched the couple of final things, including the closing from the sofa in the living room. My wife, who was just my girlfriend when she accompanied me to some of the early conferences, seemed to be mildly interested.

But after next January, they’re finished. Maybe someone will work up a replacement. Maybe not. Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

I am planning to go to the final. The trip is a nice respite for me, but there’s often things that leave me just shaking my damn head, sloshing around my already-scarred brain.

I’ve been really digging into heterodoxy lately. There’s certain things you’re supposed to believe, and do but few people really ever quantify whether these things are effective.

But towards the end of the closing, they gave prizes for the lock-picking competitions.

It’s kind of fitting accompaniment to this thing’s tagline. No security measure is unbreakable. That allows you to delete anything, and everything.

So you spread things around so you can reconstruct later if you want or need to.


Listening to this on and off as I write. This kinda plays into part of what I was doing at the hotel, and with the conference. Just pay the bits to grease the wheels, make your experience easier. I bet I could have navigated my suitcase to and drom the hotel room.

But I didn’t.

Why?

Because one, my body was rebelling against the strain I was putting on it, and two, paying the fee really isn’t a concern for me, but it might make the day of the recipient. What I paid to save me the pain of doing this, cost me less than fifteen minutes of my work labor.

Just pay it, and move on with your life.

That kind of relates to the Finding Freedom podcast ep. I appreciate what the guest is doing building a different social media app.

Great.

A lot of those really bad companiesTM make their money off scanning and selling your information.

Got it.

Pay ’em, and they stop doing that.


I apologize for getting really distracted here.

Shmoocon is, and was a lot of fun. I will do what I need to do to go to the last one next year.

Probably even if they make me wear a face diaper.

Move On

One of my various news sites I follow had something about a Chapter 11 filing for one of the various news sources. Audacy filed for Chapter 11

Reading about this brought back more memories of my days back in radio. Some of the details brought memories flooding back. Obviously, i had some friends and acquaintances at Entercom in Norfolk. I listened to a lot of programming out of WW1/CBS in DC. I actually pursued a job at WRVA in probably about 1999.

I don’t remember much about that. Richmond was really nasty in 1999. I don’t recall whether they didn’t make an offer, or if I turned it down. While WRVA seemed like a better fit for me than where I was at the time, I wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of driving from the 804 from Bad Newz several days a week.

Obviously, I’d end up doing that later, but for significantly more money.

My distaste for Richmond stems from my time in Ashland, and some of the stupid stuff that’s come from there in the intervening years.

I really don’t think that I made a mistake by not going for what. But that was the first time when I really felt underpaid. I think I was making seven bucks an hour. And going to school.

But I think about the decisions to stay where I was, and stay in school. And finish a Science degree. Even if my alma mater still makes people say, “huh?”

I would tell my dad that he was right about some of those things, but, well….

Saints didn’t make the playoffs, but they looked good the last few games. Too little, too late, but they’re right where they should be to make big strides next year. See: this year’s Lions. But, of course, they could fall had.

I watched the College Football game last night. Jim Harbaugh has bothered me for a long time I was rooting for Michigan. Of course, President Ford played there, so…..

I was working through with my college football friend. I’m a double-legacy at Southern LandmassMississippi. My recently-mentioned alma mater is Division III, and didn’t have football until my final ywar there.

College football isn’t something I’ve really followed.

My wife follows Georgia, and has since before she attended a D1 school. They only went D1 towards the end of her time there.

But I was kind of rooting for Georgia for her benefit. Lewis Grizzard would write about Georgia football.

So. Whatever. You want to follow a big college football program, that’s as good as any, I guess.

I used to run Virginia and Virginia A&MTech games on the radio back in the day. But really not so much my thing. The game, too, really doesn’t even resemble the pro game anymore. And this is why you see guys like Josh Allen coming out of football powerhouses like Wyoming.

But I guess the reason I was slightly interested in the game was that the game this year wasn’t with an SEC or ACC participant.

Um.

I went to bed about five minutes into to the second half. The first quarter was kind of entertaining, but it really wasn’t holding my interest.

Congratulations to Michigan, I guess?

The fight sing repetition reminds me of a band instructor I had in high school who’d gone there.

We practiced that song so much.

Along with On Wisconsin for some reason.

Speaking of music…..


Random aside — she opened for Liz Phair at the show I saw back in November. The show didn’t sound great where I was sitting, but I heard a few things that made me go look her up on Apple Music later. Then I saw that President Obama put one of her tracks in her Top Songs of 2023 list. Listen a few more times, and, yeah, there’s things that stick in my scarred brain. Salad by Blondeshell.


Going to post this to FB, but I can almost guarantee nobody will read this, or listen to the song above. shrug*

Ende

More than half the day finished here on the right coast.

I would say that 2023 has been a bit less-eve3ntful than the few before it.

Going month-by-month would be difficult.

Generally, though, the first half of the year was really unsettled; I didn’t know what was going to happen going forward.

I ended up heading to see my mother in March, as my grandfather was worried about her after a few trips to the hospital.

Message the Fantasy Football league where I finished dead last. Aaron Rodgers’s injury on the first drive of the damn season kinda iced it for me very early.

Oh well.

Work, after half the year being in doubt, has been incredibly stressful before December. I’ve checked out a bit the second-half of the month since the HR geniuses stole the equity (read: unused leave) I’d bargained for when I took the gig. Whatever.

Time to figure out what to do for the first bit of the year. Dreading the MRI results in a few weeks.

At the same time, whatever. I’ve done the things I need to do to get us in a good place.

Time to take a break?

But I’m really never going to do that as long as I can type.

This is what I do. Even if I don’t get paid. (And if you’ve been on the Intertubes as long as I have, you’d understand that a .org is for non-commercial endeavors…)

In Spite of Myself

I have a bit of work left do to pay my EBG!# protection racket. (Hint)

I hate it. Nearly every second.

But I got a few things out of it so far, I suppose. The audit tools available in modern Linux systems are kinda neat. I will think, however, that a Defense-In-Depth strategy is more effective, but I guess I get it.

I do still think it’s absolutely criminal that I have to pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege of continuing to work.

What.

Still trying to figure out how to align newer software development methodologies with Infosec procedures.

It’s worse in DoD, where often silly old guides have been grafted onto NIST standards.

I’m hungry; I should probably go eat something. All I’ve had today was a scone with my coffee.

Quitting

For All Mankind

I tried hard, but this discussion kept running through my head as I watched Ep. 1. While I was going to give it at least one episode, I just couldn’t.

The speech about Chicago 1968 finally prompted the stop.

But I could have done it before…

When Ted Kennedy cancelled his trip to Chappaquiddick to deal with the news that the Soviets had gotten there first.

Or when the controlling Navy wife was upset that her husband wasn’t going to go after drunkenly shooting his mouth off to a reporter, and the prospect of him going to Pax River or to Vietnam.

Or the fact that her name was “Karen.”

Yeah, I’m not wasting much more time.

I’m really bad at giving up on things that just aren’t working for me. See: my work history from 2013-2017.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t bring myself to try on that anymore.

Maybe I’m progressing.

Twiddle Thumbs

Furiously preparing for Shmoocon. Um. I guess it’s kind of taking away from me trying to pay my protection racket that’ll let me keep working. Until my vision finally gives up the ghost.

I have until May. The goal is to basically finish this coming week.

And I’m not doing anything for the week between Christmas and New Year’s.

Except take my damned shot.

I was really worried about being late last month. I’m not sure if that was coming across in my writing.

Maybe that sort of thing gets lost in the November writing streaks.

Considering abandoning the November streaks after next year (year fifteen), but we’ll see. Really trying to commit to skipping what I’d been doing in the summer.

Had a pretty good conversation with my wife about the occupational licensing requirements that are pervading the business environment lately. Thou shalt pay union dues, and pay some group’s protection racket, even if you’re not gonna need a degree in MDDR. (It’s pretty lazy to say that every politician with whom you disagree is a Fascist while ignoring the kind Communist regimes from the last century. Many, many, many policies I see floated in Maryland would fit right in in East Germany. But we’re not going to talk about East Germany. Or Romania. Or any of the other nasty places from behind the “Iron Curtain.” Maybe I should make it a point to visit Victims of Communism Museum.)

I should make it a point to do that. I think going to the book signing, and the Liz Phair show was the sort of thing I was excited about moving up here.

We’ll see how the Shmoocon weekend goes. What do I take with me, what do I smuggle back?

Running Late

Didn’t get a Shmoocon ticket, but I think i might have a hookup.

If not, I’ll just take time, and watch online.

Still a little upset that they’re still on with the fu^H^Hmasks.

*wanders away and back*

Yeah, it looks like I’m going. Okay.

They haven’t released the schedule yet. I’m sure there’ll be something interesting.

Aside: the predictive text in the browser as I’m typing is really annoying. I miss the days when I could write my entries in EMACS.

Next week, I get to pay that IT organization’s protection racket. Something to do the week before Christmas. I do have to go in one day for work, but it’s fine.

I’m going to do a few things I enjoy.

Immediate thing is that it’ll give me a chance to write compulsively…which I’m not supposed to be doing.

Oh well.

So little motivation to do anything today.