Today I swam. Or tried to.
Since I was diagnosed, I think the most water I’d ever been in was a full bathtub, and, even then, it was only a couple of times.
There is a pool where we are now. My wife was amped to actually swim. So we did. Well, she did a lot. I tried, and it um…didn’t go swimmingly.
About the only thing I can kinda still do is the breaststroke. Making my legs work to propel anything else is either comedic, or sad, depending on your perspective.
(And if you believe the communications school morans, both are true. There can’t be an objective reality of it. It only matters to the viewer. Also, if a tree falls in the woods, it can, in fact fail to make a sound….)
Recycling from waaay back…
1. Smoke? Like a freakin’ chimney
2. Do drugs? legal ones, yes. stay away from the stuff that’ll get me thrown in jail.
3. Have sex? not by any definition.
4. Sleep with stuffed animals? Inflatible doll
5. Have a crush? Not telling. ?
6. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? See question three.
7. Have a dream that keeps coming back? Nope. But I do have some quite odd dreams.
8. Play an instrument? not anymore.
9. Believe there is life on other planets? I’d like to think so.
10. Remember your first love? Yes.
11. Still love them? HER. I’ll just say that I think of her fondly.
12. Read the newspaper? more than I should
13. Have any gay or lesbian friends? nobody really close…several acquaintances.
14. Believe in miracles? no.
15. Believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? Yes, of course. It’s a matter of self-control.
16. Consider yourself tolerant of others? Hah! I’m more tolerant than I should be, though.
17. Consider police friend or foe? Depends upon the situation.
18. Like the taste of alcohol? PURE alcohol? Yep. Mmmmm…scotch.
19. Have a favorite Stooge? Curly
20. Believe in Astrology? Ehh. No. It’s a curiousity, though
21. In magic? Nope.
22. In God? I don’t think I ever have.
23. Pray? Not in a long time.
24. Go to church? Only for weddings and funerals.
25. Have any secrets? ? StillStarry asked me one night if I’d answer everything she asked me. The answer is still “no.” ?
26. Have any pets? Dogs.
27. Do well in school? When I’m not getting myself in trouble, yes.
28. Go to or plan to go to college? I’m there.
29. Have a degree? Not yet.
30. Talk to strangers who instant message you? If they’re not at all interested in cyber.
31. Wear hats? I wear caps. There *is* a difference.
32. Have any piercings? I have enough holes in my body, thank you very much. I do like P.J. O’Rourke’s idea of getting a hoop through the left ass cheek.
33. Have any tatoos? I fear needles.
34. Hate yourself? Not at the moment.
35. Have a horny spot? only a few people know about it.
36. Get horny easy? Umm….
37. Have a best friend? Yep.
38. Wish on stars? Sometimes. It’s silly.
39. Like your handwriting? My handwriting is hideous.
40. Have any bad habits? See the questions about alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. Add to those nailbiting.
41. Care about looks? More than I should.
42. Believe in witches? See the entries on my ex-girlfriend.
43. Believe in Satan? I’m more certain there’s no satan or hell than I’m certain there’s no god.
44. Ghosts? I find them intriguing, but I’ve never seen one.
45. Santa Claus? Nope.
46. The Easter Bunny? Nope.
47. The Tooth Fairy? He was inconsistent. And, really, who wants teeth?
48. Have a second family? Eek, no. One is enough.
49. Trust others easily? Nope.
50. Like sarcasm? It depends. I don’t like that I’m so sarcastic sometimes. But then….
51. Feel understood most of the time? Hah!
52. Like sappy love songs? Some are strangely appealing.
53. This question, for some crazy reason, wasn’t available. So I’ll fill it in….Kirk or Picard? Kirk.
54. Untie your shoes everytime you take them off? Depends upon which pair.
55. Wear overalls? I gave up redman at the same time.
56. Think you are strong? Emotionally? Physically? Yes, no.
57. Like skittles? Uhh…
58. Like to shop? No.
59. Look like anyone famous? Not anyone famous, really. I get really off-the-wall ones. Someone once told me I look like Neil Young. How sick.
60. Think Brad Pitt looks good? I’m having trouble restraining myself. Mmmmm….Brad Armpit
61. Have your own phone line? Cellphone
62. Enjoy filling out this kinda stuff? It keeps me from doing actual work. I’ve already worked too much this week.
63. Have a pool? Nope.
64. Have a spa? does it count when you stick the shower massage down into the bathtub while taking a bath?
65. Like jewelry? I wear a ring and a watch. I think that says everything.
66. Have a web site? Yes.
67. Like playstation? Nope.
68. Nintendo 64? Never played around with one…
69. Sleep a lot? I wish.
70. Get along with your parents? Disgustingly well.
71. Have AOL? Yes. But it’s not my primary ISP. it has its uses
72. Wear a watch? See question 65.
73. Have braces, or have you ever? Of my extensive dental work, braces haven’t been a part…
74. Have any scars? What from? Too many to list.
75. Write poetry? “There’s a place for those who love their poetry…”
76. If so, what is your favorite poem you have written? I’d say “Ode to my Choad.” But I didn’t write that one.
77. Make fun of people? Is a pig’s ass pork?
1. Smoke? It’s been nearly as long as I abstained from swimming.
2. Do drugs? Minus the cocktail I take every day to sort keep me functioning, no.
3. Have sex? *nod*
4. Sleep with stuffed animals? Not unless they’re already in the bed with me.
5. Have a crush? I married her several years ago.
6. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? She and I go back and forth on this. To me, she is my final girlfriend forever. Yes, she was my fiancée, and now is my wife, but she’s still my girlfriend. I can’t imagine ever having another.
7. Have a dream that keeps coming back? I’ve never really had a ton of strange dreams, and certainly none that really recurred.
8. Play an instrument? Not anymore. I wonder if I even could, honestly.
9. Believe there is life on other planets? I think it’s possible.
10. Remember your first love? You know, this one is tougher the longer I’ve been with my wife. I do remember some with whom I’ve had relationships. A couple of those I was more than a little bummed out about when they ended. That said, I’ve never felt the way I feel about my wife about anyone else. So, maybe, I never really loved anybody else? Possible.
11. Still love them? Yes.
12. Read the newspaper? Those still exist? O.o No, I don’t read much of anything that’s not on the Intertubes anymore. A big part of that is how bad my eyesight is; reading is work.
13. Have any gay or lesbian friends? Sure? I don’t know, though. As I’ve aged, I’ve really stopped caring what others do; it doesn’t affect me.
14. Believe in miracles? Well, there is a Lombardi Trophy in New Orleans… Glibness aside, yes, there are occasionally things that happen that are beyond easy explanation. Does that make them miracles? Probably not. Did that actually just happen? Uh, yeah. The Cubs won a World Series. The Eagles won the Super Bowl. Donald Trump was elected President. Unexpected things actually sometimes do happen.
15. Believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? Yes.
16. Consider yourself tolerant of others? More than ever, if their behaviors don’t affect me, directly. This is even more true when there’s things I have to pay for courtesy government force.
17. Consider police friend or foe? I don’t know. I don’t like the binary choice, really. Most are there to help. Some are on power trips. Some are completely worthless. Others, still, are too stupid to really consider. Four alternatives; I’ sure there’s more. I thin this sheds light on how fucking simple politics are, now. It’s not a this or that choice. In the state where I live, majorities voted against both of the two major parties’ candidates.
18. Like the taste of alcohol? Alcohol is actually tasteless. See: perfect vodka that has “no taste.” Or it’s gin that they were too lazy to finish. Take your pick. There’s alcoholic beverages I like, others I don’t. Just keeping to the past few weeks, though, I’ve drank beer, dry vermouth, bourbon, and gin.
19. Have a favorite Stooge? Most important was brother Moe/He was the one who made it so/He got a Joe and another Joe/He would not quit; he would not quit
20. Believe in Astrology? No, not really. Purportedly, under either the old or new calendars, I’m a Leo. Excuse me?
21. In magic? No.
22. In God? I was a pretty committed Atheist when I took this last. Since my late twenties, I’ve come around to accept faith. The people who are telling me the things they believe might be completely wrong. But they also might not be, and adhering to their constraints probably isn’t a bad thing for a variety of reasons. I might get to Heaven; it might take a while because of things I’ve done while I’ve been alive. All that said, I’m still very skeptical about Hell, which makes me very out of place among many fundamentalist Christians.
23. Pray? That’s for me and God to know.
24. Go to church? Still very infrequently.
25. Have any secrets? I can neither conform or deny.
26. Have any pets? Nope.
27. Do well in school? I graduated the year after I answered this the first time. I’ve not been back.
28. Go to or plan to go to college? Did.
29. Have a degree? Yes. It was, and always will be, BS.
30. Talk to strangers who instant message you? AIM’s dead, bro.
31. Wear hats? Not often.
32. Have any piercings? No.
33. Have any tatoos? No.
34. Hate yourself? No.
35. Have a horny spot? Not telling.
36. Get horny easy? Not as easy as I did when I was young.
37. Have a best friend? Yes.
38. Wish on stars? No.
39. Like your handwriting? No, and it’s gotten far worse as my condition has progressed.
40. Have any bad habits? Sure, but I’m pretty sure I’m in the second half of my life; why break them, really?
41. Care about looks? Never really have.
42. Believe in witches? There are some out there, sure.,
43. Believe in Satan? No.
44. Ghosts? Very skeptical.
45. Santa Claus? Very skeptical.
46. The Easter Bunny? Very skeptical.
47. The Tooth Fairy? No.
48. Have a second family? Again, I don’t know that this is really a binary choice.
49. Trust others easily In my condition, I kinda have to.
50. Like sarcasm? Tastefully done, yes.
51. Feel understood most of the time? No, not at all.
52. Like sappy love songs? Yes.
53. Kirk or Picard? Again with the binary choices. Between the two, Kirk, but I think I’d most like to serve for Sisko.
54. Untie your shoes everytime you take them off? Most of my shoes don’t have laces these days. I have neither the dexterity or patience for it. I remember losing one getting on a train at Union Station in DC one time; it’d come untied, and I didn’t notice. So snugly-fitting slip-on stuff mostly. On the rare occasion I do wear something with laces, yes, I’ll untie them before I take them off.
55. Wear overalls? No.
56. Think you are strong? No.
57. Like skittles? Sure?
58. Like to shop? No.
59. Look like anyone famous? No.
60. Think Brad Pitt looks good? I don’t know?
61. Have your own phone line? This is really a question from years gone by. I’ve not had a real PSTN line since probably 2009. I have the two VoIP DIDs I bought around 2008. I have a cell phone. I have a VoIP DID from work. So four numbers that are attached to me, and none that uses the legacy switched network.
62. Enjoy filling out this kinda stuff? I’m getting pretty bored, honestly.
63. Have a pool? There is one where I live that I can use, so, yes?
64. Have a spa? No.
65. Like jewelry? The only “jewelry” I’m wearing is my wedding ring. That’s normally the case. I’m also wearing a FitBit if you wanna count that.
66. Have a web site? Several.
67. Like playstation? I don’t see very well, and have very little money. I don’t have one. I had a PS2 that I let go to my wife’s cousins after theirs ruit working. I think I may have had a grand total of two games for it. But a drunken night with one, GTA2, and, well, I was excited to part ways with that money.
68. Nintendo 64? No, but if I did, I’d probably see what it’d take to get NetBSD running on it.
69. Sleep a lot? Length, no, frequency, yes.70. Get along with your parents?
71. Have AOL? I’ve continued paying them for the basic stuff so my mother can keep her email address. I think I still occasionally get alumni email, too. But it’s, what, five bucks a month to do that?
72. Wear a watch? FitBit.
73. Have braces, or have you ever? Nope. But there is so much that’s been done to my teeth, it’s not even really worth discussing.
74. Have any scars? Several. One is noticeable pretty much all the time at the edge of my right eye. I have another on my right elbow.
75. Write poetry? Nope.
76. If so, what is your favorite poem you have written? This one doesn’t even account for the preceding binary question. I answered, “no,” so this question is completely irrelevant to me.
77. Make fun of people? Not often. Well, Failcons’ fans, but that’s kinda tough to pass up when they blew a 25-point lead in the Super Bowl.