Getting into the swing after a few days, or maybe my meds are kicking in. Who knows?
Would you read a controversial book, such as “Mein Kampf” or “The Communist Manifesto”?
I’ve read The Communist Manifesto a couple of times. The first was out of sheer curiosity. My dad had a copy in his book collection, dating back to his college studies. He’d taken Russian as a minor in college. Then he went to try and kill Commies for a living.
I read it again in college, and was even less enthused. I guess, maybe, I can see how someone might be intrigued by the ideas, but I never was. I do believe in freedom, and surrendering to an all-encompassing government that leads you to whatever never really appealed to me. What Is To Be Done I found more compelling.
It’s incredible that so many people subscribed to the idea of the eventuality of socialism. Many still do. I seem to remember one of Obama’s inspirations still, in the 21st Century, referencing Mao.
But, then, it wasn’t that long ago that Chomsky and Herman published Distortions at fourth hand.
Hitler, too, believed in the eventual triumph of Socialism. Lenin had drawn a distinction between agrarian Russia, and industrial Western Europe.
Hitler, of course, was also littered with bad early 20th Century pseudoscience, and anti-Semitism. I’d imagine his rant would be filled with the same if I cared enough to read it.
Maybe that’s a polite way to say, and this’ll get the Antifa kids amped, “FUCK HITLER.”
If I had the luxury of doing that sort of “work,” I might like to explore these things further. That said, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be accepted in modern academia. Next Saturday marks the 99th anniversary of the end of World War I, and I don’t think it gets the attention it deserves.
For tomorrow, since I’ve been asked about when I’m going to write about it…..
Something your significant other is into that you are not?


How do you feel about the current political climate?
Personally, I think everyone has lost their minds.   Just today there is a story about people who are going to go “scream helplessly at the sky” because it has been a year since Trump won the presidency.  If you have so little to care about that you have the free time to go and do something like that, there’s a problem.  Also, what will that accomplish for you?  Will it make you feel better?  Make you feel like you are making a difference?  You aren’t, you are just making yourself look like an idiot.
I also can’t stand the hypocrisy between the parties.
“You did this”
“Well you did it first”
Hey, you both suck, so can we acknowledge that and then get something done?  I know it is crazy that you are expected to do the job you were elected to do, but if you could, that might serve the country better than your damn bickering.
So yeah, I think the political climate sucks and I think people take it way too personally.
Until tomorrow…


Today I wanted to free write. Sarah thinks that it’s a cop-out, but I was really tired yesterday.
I’m still tired, but the Tysabri infusion is starting to kick in.
Today’s accompaniment to writing The Fifth Column. They’re discussing Kmele’s soon-to-arrive daughter. Lots of birthdays, right around now, too.
*does the math*
Valentine’s Day.
But today is my grandfather, a few FB friends. Next week is my mother and brother.
Facebook’s been bouncing back and forth with college memories, since a former classmate is involved in a rather heated race for the Virginia House of Delegates. Mike and I had some political and philosophical differences back then, but I think he’s a good guy. Does it mean that if I lived in that district I’d vote for him? No, but that’s more about his partisan allegiance. But not because of a picture taken during a game of Beer Pong decades ago.
A lot of what I’m seeing from his party, though, is rank patronage. That their gubernatorial candidate is a VMI product illustrates that beautifully. With all the Kevin Spacey innuendo going around, his description of knocking the Citadel ring speaks to the boys’ network.
I’m not a part of that. My family is too poor, too Catholic, not white enough, etc..
But speaking of Byrd Organization products, I haven’t been back to read my entry from yesterday. I’m sure it’s disjointed, but that’s kind of my existence these days. The situation with health insurance is incredibly frustrating.
There’s a lot of choices that put me in this position, but so far as science can tell, nothing I did led to my physical condition. I had symptoms before I did any of the sorts of things that might be considered deleterious.
Maybe one of these crowd-sourcing pleas would be appropriate to pay for my health care.
I’ve tried, professionally, to take positions that’ll keep me cared-for. What do I have to show for it? The prospect of paying over $1,000 a month for health insurance next year.
With that, though, I can’t go up on the roof of my building with a glass of Scotch, and a cigar before it’s too cold.
Is there anything else I’d really like to write about? No, not really. The Saints are in first place, which probably surprises people. But, then, you might could attribute it to the Failcons doing what they do best.
I’m anxious to get back to OD to write.
But, much like the cigar and Scotch, will I have money to spend on it?
Tomorrow’s prompt: Would you read a controversial book, such as “Mein Kampf” or “The Communist Manifesto”?


Do you ever feel as though you are the only one with a logical mind? 
Going off of my brief tangent yesterday, in today’s political climate, yes, I do sometimes believe I am the only person in a group that is logical.  This may make me sound conceited, but I don’t care (which probably also makes me sound conceited).  I have seen more relationships end of the current POTUS than I have ever seen over any issue.  It is something I am unable to wrap my head around.
So this person has a different view than you and that makes them both wrong and evil? 
Don’t you dare bring up something from their side, because then you are just making excuses for the person they don’t agree with.  No, I just wan you t you to realize that both sides are incredibly flawed.  One is not better than the other, they both are terrible.  To me it is like being able to choose your own means of execution, and you know they both hurt like hell.
Somewhat of an offside, I am enjoying this so far.  It is a more extensive version of my 5-year Q&A journal (which surprisingly I have been able to keep up with for 4 years).  I originally wanted it to be able to track my progress through earning my bachelor’s degree.  There are some telling questions, but there are other entries when I sit and wonder what was going on that day that I wrote that.
I do think I am a logical person, and I think that infuriates people who are so biased in their thought patterns that they see it as an attack on them.  No, I just want you to think and to question.  That is all I ever want anyone to do is to think and to question, because if you don’t you will never start to understand things outside the world you have created for yourself, and that is a scary, disturbing proposition to me.
Until tomorrow…


Once again, this is kinda incomplete. A result of getting home late, not being able to write during the day.
Since I email these back and forth to myself, I game mysel the subject of “Tres Commas,” since it’s the third.
Mmmmm. Tequila. Silicon Valley.
Yes, this could be a good weekend once the new season is out.
Onto today’s prompt….
Biggest challenge you have faced so far?
It would be easy for me to say, “Multiple Sclerosis,” but that’s not entirely true.
The MS, atop the thorough fucking I’ve taken by several jobs, makes it tough.
The employment experience before this one, and the ultimate lack of success therein, I will say is partially my fault.
That one, the combination of health problems landed me in the hospital thrice during the fifteen months I was there; a night in September, two in October, two more in June.
At the same time, I was so out-of-it after the situation with MSC and CACI, that maybe I didn’t really care anymore. Maybe in a way, I still don’t.
There was no reason I should have seen my salary return to what it’d been in 2006 at the behest of a criminal. I accepted the job, because it was the only thing available, and we needed the money. If someone hears from him in Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass prison in Texas, ask him if he’s proud of himself.
So, despite a serious lack of compensation, I’ve kept working. II’ve done what I needed to do to try and keep my wife and myself above water.
I am tired, though. Since 2012, I’ve not had a solid week off. When I say, “solid,” I mean time off without concern about where the next paycheck is coming from.
I really don’t feel like writing a lot more about all this, though. The fuck-you-I-got-mine crowd can keep despairing about the 2016 election. I don’t have the energy. It must be nice….
And back to writing now. As I told my wife as she’s pouring over the plans from the Federal Exchange, I think she’s understanding why I was so upset yesterday.
Essentially we’re being forced to accept a plan from my employer knowing full well that my job could end soon, and I’d be on very expensive COBRA.
Bubuhbut you’re supposed to get insurance through your job!!1!
And people who are in comfortable situations are in the fuck-you-I-got-mine mindset.
I just don’t care to deal with them anymore.
Free Write


Do you ever feel the need to play Devil’s Advocate? 
All the time.  I don’t do it to be controversial or combative (most of the time), but I sincerely believe that people need to understand both viewpoints to any argument.  One thing I absolutely can’t stand is when someone won’t listen to an argument, just because they don’t like a certain group or person.  This abounds during the current administration, because it is Trump and the Republicans, nothing good can be done.  Well I can tell you all of the good the Affordable Care Act has done for me, but it’s a very short list, and I’d be getting off topic.  Maybe that will be another topic for another day.
Playing the Devil’s Advocate for me leads a person to better understand an issue, because it gives an unbiased view and generally provides a complete set of facts.
Until tomorrow…


Do you ever feel conflicted when someone you admire comes under controversy?
I had to look at this one before I got in the shower this morning so I’d have some time to think about it.
Considering it, though, I don’t know that there’s anybody I really admire who’s “fallen,” so to speak.
I mean, I remember celebs getting in trouble for stuff.
Magic Johnson
Pete Rose
Peewee Herman
I guess, though, there wasn’t a single one that really shattered my world. As I’ve aged, the softer I am on many, many things.
Magic was a playa.
rose liked to bet on sports. He’s no Art Schlichter, but…
OJ, well, he probably murdered his ex-wife. I say, “probably,” because there’s no way I could have convicted him beyond a reasonalbe doubt. LAPD seriously screwed up that case. You take a suspect’s blood to the crimescene, and can’t figure out what happened to part of the sample? Really?
As for Peewee, well I’ve never, and would never do that in a movie theater.

The above is what I’d jotted down on the prompt, but my mind really is elsewhere this evening.
Thanks to the wonderful health care system established during the last Presidential Administration, I’m really worried about being able to continue getting my treatment.
My company’s insurance barely covers the medication, and the HR services firm couldn’t tell me how much the treatment would cost.
Further, there is always great potential that this job could go away. Paying for COBRA would cost over $1,000 per month.
The cheapest plan from the Federal exchange, also costs more than $1,000/mo. What we currently have costs nearly $700/mo..
Note that this is all after-tax money.
Onto tomorrow’s prompt…
Biggest challenge you have faced so far?
I think I could segue into that one from today’s problems. The initial bit might say it’s the MS, but, really, that’s just a complicating issue.


NoJoMo Day 1
Why am I doing this and how long have I been at it?
I am doing this because I think I need to give certain people in my life a break from my venting.  I know it is getting to a point of being irritating and unlike some people, I am willing to consciously try and change my behavior, because I am trying to become the best version of myself, and I know I need to make changes.
As for how long I have been doing this, about 10 minutes.  I am traditionally someone who likes to write in an actual notebook, but as the years have progressed, my typing speed has gotten faster and I think they are fairly comparable at this point. Also, I have a tendency to keep a different notebook for each writing project I start (and there have been plenty) and it gets hard to keep track.
So, Day 1 is in the books and I will have to figure out what to do for Day 2.
Stay tuned…


Introduction. Why am I doing this, and how long have I been doing it?
This is year eight. Why am I doing it? Well, because it’s something that settles my brain, and gets me ready for the end of the year.
I can look back, and see what I’ve done over the past year, and maybe write a bit about other things on my mind.
In the month of writing leading up to my birthday, I was kind of spiraling. I was unemployed, poor, and trying to decide where to go next. Thankfully, I was able to find work, albeit not what I was hoping for.
But it pays the bills. Sorta.
Things really got knocked askew in May, when we were forced to move out of the place where I’d been living since 2007.
The new place is considerably smaller, but it’s also a lot more expensive. I don’t know that we’ll be staying terribly long.
I admit that I’ve not really put out my prompts for the month. I do have some of the ideas my wife helped me put together stashed aside. I also have some birthdays I’ll write about. ArmisticeVeterans’ Day. Thanksgiving.
Purportedly, Open Diary, where I wrote pretty regularly from 1999 until its closure in 2013, is returning sometime soon. I am also writing on ProseBox.
I think, though, what I’m going to do is end each entry with what I’m going to write about tomorrow.
Do you ever feel conflicted when someone you admire comes under controversy?
Maybe this weekend, I’ll get this better set up. We’ll see. On my lousy blog, my wife may be joining in on the fun.
I would write more, but today’s been incredibly long. I did get my infusion this afternoon, so by the end of the weekend, I expect my energy level to be back to peak.