Category: Summer Writing

Write about recent dreams.  Do you dream often?  Anything odd lately stick out in your mind?

Lots of dreams about my wife lately.  I don’t normally dream about people. I’m not really sure where I am going with the whole thing. I typically don’t dream a lot. Lately, however, I’ve had some very vivid ones. Some featuring people I know. Others featuring famous people. I literally can’t even…

Last night’s featured a particularly loathsome politician, one Senator Elizabeth Warren. It was probably because I’d watched her excuse for an address at the Democratic National Convention. She spent a lot of time talking about the wonderful benefits that have been put into place to avoid another financial crisis……like this:

Thankfully, I can’t remember what this shining star of statism did to me, but it was enough to wake me up.

I bet the young person who was shouting, “we trusted you” to her probably was stoned enough at the end of the night that he slept like a baby.

What to write about tomorrow…?  Hmm.  Well, football training camps are a

How does weather affect you? 

Nowadays, heat really does a number on me.  It’s something that started long before I was diagnosed, but is very pronounced these days.

So, what happens?

1. My vision goes.  Anyone who’s talked to me would know that vision loss is my most serious symptom.  That did start long before I was diagnosed.  I can remember getting the weird streaks on the edges of my vision playing softball in college.
2. Fatigue.  I tire incredibly easily.  I do push myself farther than I probably ought pretty often.  In some ways, I’m still very hungry, professionally, and am excited to be doing work closer to my skillset.
3. My midsection starts spasming.  If there’s a muscle between my ribcage and my knees, it’ll randomly contract or relax.  That leads me to the next
4. My diaphragm stops working.  I have trouble breathing. Serious trouble breathing.  Not only is hot, humid air difficult to inhale in the first place, it’s even tougher when you have trouble taking a deep breath of comfortable air.

On the flip side, perhaps due to other nerve problems, cold doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did when i was younger.  I hated the cold, and tolerated the heat.  These days, it’s exactly the opposite.

Tonight, after Indian food, I’m sure I’ll sleep very deeply.  This is okay, and brings me to tomorrow’s prompt….

Write about recent dreams.  Do you dream often?  Anything odd lately stick out in your mind?

Who will you vote for in November, and why?

Unless the polls in the week before the Election say Virginia is within five points, I’m going to vote for Gary Johnson.

Do I have some reservations about him? Absolutely. But he and Weld are a lot closer to where I am.

If Virginia is within the MOE, I’ll hold my nose and vote against Hillary.

Tomorrow’s prompt: It’s supposed to be 100F here in Norfolk tomorrow — how does weather affect you? Tease? The heat bothers me a lot more than it did when I was younger. The cold really doesn’t bother me anymore, though.

It’s Friday.  What are your weekend plans?

Relax.  It’s going to be incredibly hot here this weekend, so I plan to stay inside as much as I can.  When I get hot, my vision gets even worse than it normally is, my balance goes, and I have trouble breathing.

That doesn’t explain why I fell off the bus Tuesday afternoon.  Yes, I fell off the bus.  Umm, yeah, I don’t even know.  I’d gotten off a stop early the last time I went to this barber shop, and had to walk a pretty good ways down  the street.

Going to work on the bus, I noticed there was a stop pretty much right in front of the shopping center where the barber is.  Being Norfolk, there’s not much in the way of hills, but there is one from the street to the sidewalk.  I stepped off the bus onto the grass between the curb and the sidewalk, and down I went.

(And, yes, this is part of the thinking behind yesterday’s entry on pain…)

Thankfully, I did manage to stay on the grass between the street and the sidewalk, but I came down on my left shoulder hard.

The bus driver saw me fall, and got off the bus to see if I was okay.  He, and a passenger waiting for another bus, helped me drag myself into a shady spot where I sat until I’d done enough to make sure I pretty much had full range-of-motion.

Unfortunately, my left shoulder is where I carry my work bag, and it was too sore to let me comfortably do that.  So, bag to the right shoulder, and cane to the left hand, not in use.  I staggered across the parking lot to the barber, got my hair cut, and got a ride home.

Because I got the ride home, I didn’t run a couple of the other errands I’d planned on the way.  (Yes, I was looking for liquor and beer, which you can’t buy in the same store in the Commonwealth of Virginia….my wife hooked me up on the beer, but i still need to trek to the ABC store for the other stuff.)

The ride home cost me eight bucks, but it was worth not having to stagger back to where I’d just fallen, then get on a different bus headed downtown and home.

Yesterday, I went to see my PCP(s) over at EVMS.  There was a new PA there who saw me.  I swear the guy was as increduluous as many of the young residents I’ve seen about my travails over the six years I’ve been going there for treatment.

Yes, guy, my vision really is that bad!

Yes, i’ve lost that much weight since 2009!

No, there’s nothing glass will do to help;  it’s nerve and brain damage.

He examined my shoulder, and was worried I had a break, so he wanted to do an X-ray.  The attending physician came in, talked to me for a few minutes, established that i had full range-of-motion, and told me to come back next week if it was still bothering me.

It’s not as bad as it was the morning after, but it still hurts a lot about the time when the ibuprofen is wearing off.

Most people are very one-sided when it comes to handedness;  I’ve always been a bit odd.  I find myself doing a lot more things with my left side these days.  Not that I could even hope to play baseball, but I almost feel like actually throwing with my left hand would be natural to me these days.

Yes, that’d be weird.  Not that I could ever hope to actually see well enough to hit, or stand well enough to run and field, but….

I’m rambling.  It happens.  Part of this, though, is to get me back in the writing mode.  What tomorrow?  Hmm, I guess I’ll use one of the prompts I’d taken from my old diary, and revisit it.

Back to the prompt, again. What am I going to do this weekend?  Not much.  It’s too hot to do anything, and I really wish I could have some gin and sweet vermouth delivered.  (Yes, I know those don’t go together, but i have bourbon and plenty of dry vermouth.  I am one ingredient short for both martinis and Manhattans….)

Back to tomorrow’s prompt.

For a large number of folks, the change of the millennium was their first major memory.  Where were you, and what were you doing?

That’s easy.  I will say that if you think you have the least bit of a dental problem DO NOT GET ON AN AIRPLANE.

I asked this thinking about something I’m going to have to endure soon.  I asked my PCP for a second opinion.  Unfortunately, he agreed with the specialist’s recommendation.  Imagine you’re watching a national news program;  you’ve probably seen ads for people who have to do this.

Reluctantly, I’ll go along.  I’m not getting into too many details, because it’s embarrassing.

So, instead, I’ll get back to the pain on the plane.

I was working in Florida (yes, I know…..).  While I was down there, one of my teeth really started bothering me.  It was a tooth that had been worked on years previously, and hadn’t given me any trouble.  If I’d been scheduled to be down there for more than a few days, I probably would have sought somebody locally.  Instead, this was supposed to be a quick three-day trip, and I’d be home in time to get things fixed.

In fact, we finished up our work a day ahead of schedule, so I rearranged my flights to get home sooner.

I’d purchased some Ambesol at one of the local drug stores to temporarily numb the pain until I got home.  Got on my rescheduled flight.  As soon as the cabin started pressurizing, oh ho indescribable pain.  Like tears coming down pain.

Dabbing Ambesol in the airplane bathroom didn’t help.

After we’d been in the air for about twenty minutes, it subsided to a minor ache.  We landed in Atlanta without issue, though some more pain as we descended.

Consequently, I took advantage of my Amex Platinum, and hit up the airline club in the airport while waiting for my connection.

I downed three gin Martinis, hoping I could just fall asleep on the flight back to Norfolk.

I was seated next to a pilot on ferry

Once again, as in the first le of the flight, as soon as the cabin started pressurizing, holy fuck pain.

By the time we were airborne, I was sweating profusely.  The captain next to me asked what was going on.  I told him.  He flagged down the flight attendant and asked for something.

She didn’t have anything.

So much for sleeping.

And my buzz is totally gone.

I was supposed to see my then-girlfriend (now wife) that weekend.  Instead, I was going to the urgent care clinic for Vicodin and antibiotics.

Root canal on Sunday.

Sometimes having a dentist who does his religious stuff on Saturdays is a good thing.

None of the things that I’ve had as I’ve battled MS have come close to matching that pain.  None.

Here’s where I need to figure out what to gab about tomorrow;.  It’s Friday.  What are your weekend plans?

Title of Bloodhound Gang’s epic song about birthdays.

Ain’t my job/to fuck you on your birthday

The radio edit of that one is a completely different song

It’s like Cee-Lo several years ahead of schedule…..

So, yeah, this is the end, and tomorrow is my birthday.

When I decided to do this this Summer, I was kind of floundering around, looking for something halfway interesting to do, pass the time until this horrible experience is over.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this has been a horrible experience.

Not only has my health been troublesome, I’m amazingly underpaid, and in a position suited for someone with far fewer qualifications.

At the same time, I’ve been able over the past few months, to get a better handle on what I should be looking for.

I’ve made mistakes. I’ve gotten bad advice. But that’s over, now.

And so is being thirty-five.

What brings out the best in you?

1. Challenge. I like to be challenged, mentally. And, yes, Governor Perry, that does mean you can do more pull-ups than I can. But I like to have opportunities where I can work through a problem, and find a simple, creative answer.
2. With that, I do appreciate constructive feedback, criticism. Sometimes it can be curt, of course, but you do have to have a point about something better. I think back to a final from college, where I wrote a rather compelling brief addressing the question as a tort. My professor came back with something along the lines of, “your argument is solid; you should have used the UCC.” In doing that, she revealed that there was a part of that coursework I’d missed. I was incredibly angry with this professor, but it made me go back and review the oversight I’d made. The initial approach is sometimes the wrong one. That’s okay, and that’s why you engineer things in the first place! Full disclosure: finishing this up after work, and touching a raw nerve. (Yes, I know mine are frayed, but the metaphor is the same.) The prescription provided me is probably incorrect. After considering the problem, I suggested a different approach. “I’ll have to look at it.” But I left knowing my idea will likely be cast aside until this particular individual needs something to make him appear brilliant to someone else. That brings me to;
3. Proper attribution. If I do something right, give me the credit for it. If I fuck something up, point it out. I’m okay with it either way….

What’s your favorite birthday memory? What is your worst birthday memory?
Best? I had a job interview on my birthday. One of the women on the panel I glanced at several times; “I know this chick from somewhere.”

But I never figured it out.

For the next five years, we worked in the same building never making the connection until one day I was talking to the guy in the office next door to hers. He was (probably still is?) married to a German woman he’d met when he was stationed over there. We were talking about the places we’d been, and I mentioned the place where I’d lived the longest.

From the next office, “HEIDELBERG??!?”

Yes, that’s where I knew her from, almost twenty years later.
She was a cheerleader, when I played football. She was a couple of years ahead of me, so we didn’t know each other that well, but I recognized the face.

(We won’t get into the fact that I’d been trying hard to play kissyface with one of the other squadmembers back then….)

So, with that, I got that job, and it really did suit me in a lot of different ways.
It’s where I was when I got really sick.
It’s where I was when I married.
It’s where I was when I lost my dad.
It’s where I was wehn I finally took a week-and-a-half off for the first time in years to honeymoon with my wife….

So, yeah, I remember that birthday, and that interview for those reasons.

Worst birthday? I don’t know.

The last one wasn’t great, because I was still unemployed, and we were running out of money……
I think I’ve had to work through a few.
Maybe a hurricane at the radio stations one year?
I don’t remember.
I’ve been sick a couple, though none self-induced.

I want Baskin Robins’ Ice Cream Cake.

Another day where I’m going to skip the prompt I’d recycled.

I’m not at work; it was a hundred degrees in there. After half an hour, my vision and breathing were starting to go.

This is the sort of thing I have to put up with, physically.

I’m not happy that my boss wasn’t forthright enough to come check on me, or, if he’d gotten there before I did, call me and tell me that I should stay away.

So, there’s that.

On a similar note, I’ve had this out-of-town recruiter trying hard to get me.

The money is right.
The situation is a little sketchy.
It’s in a city I know little about, and questionable public transportation. (At the same time, it’s a city I’m very intrigued with the possibilities….)

I finally told him I can’t drive; we’ll see if that sends him away.

I become more and more convinced with each passing day that we belong somewhere up the Northeast Regional line.

Though it’s still hot during the summers, and colder during the winters, I can get around, and the cold doesn’t bother me as much as the heat does.

Somehow I missed a prompt a prompt for today. I didn’t miss the three birthdays of friends and family on Facebook.

THow is baby formed after Thanksgiving turkey? Yes, it’s a bit disturbing to think about your parents getting’ busy while visiting their families, but., there’s a reason there’s so many late-August birthdays.

But, barring the prompt, I don’t know if my spiel about why I write got posted, and I’m too perpetualy exhausted to go back and and look.

I do this for me; it’s something that keeps me on track.

I have things to say, and forcing them out on schedule helps keep it coming.

But, the biggest takeaway from this weekend? It’s not log enough.

I’m tired of this situation. I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of being away from my wife. I’m tired of my eighth of a cubicle. I’m tired being on pins and needles because there’s been no option execution on my contract.

“That’s all I’m gonna say about that.”