{"id":4353,"date":"2023-11-17T17:36:13","date_gmt":"2023-11-17T22:36:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/?p=4353"},"modified":"2023-11-17T17:36:13","modified_gmt":"2023-11-17T22:36:13","slug":"seventeen-13","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/2023\/11\/17\/seventeen-13\/","title":{"rendered":"Seventeen"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I was thinking this was about Thanksgiving plans.  I guess I had something in my drafts folder, but rechecking my early entry about my targets for the month&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Uniqueness.  <a href=\"https:\/\/control-h.org\/?p=825\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Flashback to 2013<\/a>, but a bit of modification.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What characteristics define you and make you unique?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am really <strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><em>strange<\/em><\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve spent a ton of time trying to refresh my wife on this last few months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What&#8217;s changed, however, is that I&#8217;m really not trying to change that at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I put up lots of things to hide who i am, and what I am in the past.  That kind of synchs with several of the things I&#8217;ve been working through in my mental health sessions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It kind of explains, too, my recalcitrance towards many of particular <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Critical_theory\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Critical Theory<\/a>-inspired things that have popped up in the common culture<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With the most-cursory examination, I&#8217;m just a privileged straight white dude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Me explaining otherwise is largely just an exercise in futility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m not at all from an affluent background.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m disabled.  Unless you see my cane, or see me try to walk without it, you&#8217;d have no idea.  STFW for &#8216;But you don&#8217;t look sick.&#8221;  Yeah, no kidding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I went to school with the intention of doing something completely different than what I&#8217;m actually doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I like unusual things.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I rarely get visibly excited about anything.  Let me but that a different way &#8212; I got to the point where it was nearly impossible to get me to show any emotion at all about anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have a bunch of stuff I wrote probably 2005ish about <em>trying to make myself cry<\/em>, because I wasn&#8217;t sure if I even could anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There was a scene in <em><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kids_in_the_Hall:_Brain_Candy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Brain Candy<\/a><\/em>, where a character was relaying to the shrink about his sorry place in life.  Naturally, this is in German, and the shrink&#8217;s response after the sad bit was something the lines of, &#8220;I don&#8217;t understand German.&#8221;  &#8220;<strong>Schei<\/strong>sse&#8221;  (And looking around, <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/NzGMUQscr7Q?si=vlex1WvxKBv2q6wZ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here it is<\/a>&#8230;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My girlfriend spent quite a bit of time trying to fix it.  (She did, and we&#8217;ve been together for years&#8230;and we&#8217;d make this <a href=\"https:\/\/southpark.fandom.com\/wiki\/Butters_Stotch\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">&#8220;crying little pussy&#8221;<\/a> if we bred&#8230;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m not really the beneficiary of the &#8220;privilege&#8221; I purportedly possess.  I make almost every attempt to fit in with whatever crowd I&#8217;m in.  Those efforts seem to be to my physical detriment a bit too often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So do those things make me &#8220;unique?&#8221;  Maybe?  But it shouldn&#8217;t matter.  What should matter is how I&#8217;ve behaved towards you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Certainly there&#8217;s a select number of people with whom I don&#8217;t want to interact anymore (or again).  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope the same is true in reverse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was thinking this was about Thanksgiving plans. I guess I had something in my drafts folder, but rechecking my early entry about my targets for the month&#8230; Uniqueness. Flashback to 2013, but a bit of modification. What characteristics define you and make you unique? I am really strange. I&#8217;ve spent a ton of time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-national-journal-writers-month"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4353","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4353"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4353\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}