I still didn’t have anything. So, back to 2012:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. What are your vices?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The normal stuff; alcohol, caffeine, meth, opiates, nicotine, gambling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some of those aren\u2019t true. Decide for yourself which ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. \u201cThe most disappointed I\u2019ve ever been\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You know, I honestly don\u2019t know nowadays. I try not to focus on failures, you know? Especially now, Going to meet with criminal investigators about someone ranks right up there\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The answers are really unchanged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Obviously, the “meth” from back then was in jest, but the other things are still basically true. I’ve really varied the amounts here and there, but I still partake in the same bits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But I really don’t get a lot of enjoyment from any of those vices anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did I really back then? I don’t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That does kind of feed into the disappointment piece. If I don’t ever really enjoy anything, I have trouble being that disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Things happen, and all I’ll have at the end is the memory of me screwing up royally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe that’s no way to live, but it’s kind of my nature. I’m incredibly captious, intentional even.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe that attitude has seen me miss out on fun, but I’ve also missed out on a lot of real disappointment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Something to discuss in a future therapy session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Somehow the Apple Music interlude of Cake’s Sheep Go To Heaven<\/em> seems strangely appropriate here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I’m not really a sheep; they don’t have the requisite amount or self-reflection. You’re never going to see any sort of after-action review from a sheep. Even if there’s nothing formal, I do review many things to myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I usually come back with “I wouldn’t have acted differently.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yeah, there’s been some times that I was absent information that led to an incorrect decision; if I’d known that K——- had reached a plea agreement that’d lead to me being laid off when I got “home,” I would have been glad-handling at Shmoocon in 2014, but I didn’t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was trying to do the best job I could do even though I was being mistreated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So it goes. I can be comfortable with myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I still didn’t have anything. So, back to 2012: 1. What are your vices? The normal stuff; alcohol, caffeine, meth, opiates, nicotine, gambling. Some of those aren\u2019t true. Decide for yourself which ones. 2. \u201cThe most disappointed I\u2019ve ever been\u2026\u201d You know, I honestly don\u2019t know nowadays. I try not to focus on failures, you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-national-journal-writers-month"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4734"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4734\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/control-h.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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