These are non-negotiable. If you think differently, you’re wrong
Rule 1: Any beer you have to fortify with fruit is not worth drinking.
Rule 2: Any beer sold in a tackle shop, you do not drink unless you are fishing.
Rule 3: A beer is a snack, not a meal. It shouldn’t be like a bowl of oatmeal.
That is all.
Again, if you disagree, you are wrong. And you find tubgirl attractive.