^H

Wrap Up

So this is the last one. We’ll see how much more I have until the end of the year. I do have some Notes of a Goon writing to do, but I really can feel finished.

Christmas is going to be unsettled, just like Thanksgiving.

Whatever. Keep plugging along until I have to make a change.

Lots of thoughts listening to Mean Age Daydream this morning, as well as some of the Thanksgiving podcasts. The guest was a comic who wrote, and was pitching a book on “woke” comedy.

One of the things he had was following a rape victim on an open mic…and how that really killed his act for the night.

Another was following a disabled comic.

Going through my inventory, I really don’t fit nicely into a lot of the categories of concern. (Which sounds a lot like one of Fauci’s comebacks to Rand Paul about gain-of-funciton research being conducted in Wuhan; No, Senator, we weren’t conducting gain-of-function of concern….)

So what the hell am I? Disabled? Yep. Rich? Nope. White? Not completely, and that was a bit of an issue for my father growing up in the deep South in the 1960s. Product of an affluent school? Fuck no. I grew up all over the place, and really don’t have anywhere I consider “home.”

I could ask what considerations I should have, etc.

But I don’t care. Leave me alone, and don’t try to make me live the way you think I should.

There was a radio host to whom I used to listen (when he was still on the air…) who had a video message a couple of days ago that was targeting the sorts of things people think are important today. His message? “So what.”

I agree, of course, but that also makes me out-of-place today. But that comes with being a recovering radio guy, I guess.

I’ve written every day in November, now, for thirteen straight years.

So what?

Because it’s what I fucking wanted to do.

What are you most proud of this year? (Flashback to 2015)

In the 2015 entry, I wrote a lot about what was going on with the medical issues I was having.

It’s pretty incredible how different things are this year.

I think, maybe, I could really write to the improvements that started last year both physically, and especially mentally.

I thought I’d written about something very simple, going to the dentist for a cleaning, where I felt halfway like a “normal” person. I woke up, took a cab to the dentist, got my teeth cleaned, and came home. Like a somewhat regular person.

I didn’t have the sense of panic I’d had for years about being embarrassed publicly by something my body did. I wasn’t going to puke. I wasn’t going to pass out. I wasn’t going to shit my pants. I went, let the hygienist do what she needed to do, talked to the dentist, came home, then waited the requisite hour until I could have coffee.

This is not the sort of thing that many people can relate to, but it was my life for the past almost thirty years.

With that, I’d planned to travel later this year. As a test run, I went down to visit my mother. I rode the train to the Gulf Coast by myself. I flew back to DCA with a scared little dog.

Then I repeated the trip earlier this month.

Yes, that trip was largely flavored by my slide off the bench at the train station to start. (And, yes, I still have bruises, but the problems I was having down there have calmed down, at least.)

The trip for December was cancelled, which is probably okay. I didn’t go through the rigmarole to get my passport renewed.

But that’s okay. Settling in to Fitter Happier, maybe.

I’m ready to cut my hair. I’m ready to shave off the growth around my mouth. (Though I’m slightly curious about whether these few hairs are, in fact, gray, or if they’re just blonde…..I think I’ve mentioned before that if there’s a natural hair color, it grows out of my face…)

Professionally, again, it’s the sense of completion. When the thing I’m on finally ends, I’ll have a decision to make, but I really don’t think there’s a lot of point of trying to keep things the way they are, even if it’s going to cost people their jobs. The system I’m supporting has a purpose, and that isn’t to make me a lot of money. So wrap up tomorrow. And another year down.

And maybe we’ll get to some real winter weather. Just some freezing after the rain ends today.

And the US beat the Islamic Republic in the World Cup.

I wish I didn’t have more work to do tonight, but time to find dinner.

Is there someone you were close to at one point in time, that you can no longer stand to be around? (From 2020…)

My response back then was:

Absolutely. Her. Him. Her. No ill-will towards him. Well, I still talk to her sometimes. Him, too. *shrug*

You know, I think some of those was the people who had joined the Branch Covidians.

But, no, I haven’t changed much of any of those takes. At the same time, I really can’t remember exactly who I was thinking about in any of those.

I don’t know, really, however, whether I can really hold many grudges at this point. I just don’t have the energy.

I was listening to Finding Freedom this morning, and the interviewee was talking about being involved with UNICOR. (I’ll spare you searching the fine web; Wiki)

But I don’t know that there’s anyone to whom I’m really refusing to speak. Even in the hellscape that are many social media platforms, I rarely just cut off people I don’t know. Maybe that’s top of mind after a few weird blocks on Twitter; who knoes?

But I guess that sometimes there’s rash reactions that aren’t forever-justified.

So…?

Yesterday I referenced what I wrote years ago, “You Can Leave.” Still very much in that mindset. And if you circle back, be at least civil.

But very few of the connections broken I’m missing. I think that might be a part of my upbringing. Listening to a few programs leading up to Thanksgiving, I was hearing people talk about Thanksgivings with difficult family members.

I think I can count on one hand the number of times we traveled to see family for Thanksgiving. There were a couple of times we went to see my parents’ friends, but it was really not something where we’d head away for the holiday. Drunk Uncle has no relevance to me.

Maybe that’s not really surprising; I think I only saw my dad drunk once, and that was him with my godfather around my brother’s wedding. They polished off a bottle of gin, but weren’t upset/mean.

A couple more days; I have to go do work.

Describe what you’re doing for the rest of this year. (Flashback to 2014)

Really, other than maybe a trip to the dentist for a cleaning, I think I’m finished with medical stuff for the year, so there’s that bright spot?

I think when I pulled this, I already knew my international travel wasn’t happening. In a way, I’m okay with that. After the trips to the Gulf Coast, I think I’m okay not going anywhere for a while.

Again, it’s the feeling that things are finished, and there’s not a ton more I can do.

And I’m okay with it.

There’ll be bits and pieces here and there next month, but it looks like a time to relax, which is a change.

I think removing myself from some of the things that had been negatively affecting my mood has helped.

Whatever happens, I think I’m accepting of myself for the first time since, ummmm…before puberty?

I’m trying to do things to improve myself, even if those things aren’t others’ prescriptions.

And my willingness to take my own fucking advice, and just leave when there’s something I don’t like…and maybe not be too torn up about it.

But, again with completion, looks like we found a use for the property in Mississippi. I feel good about it, even if we’re not going to bring in as much money as we might have expected.

Going to forego the news segment, as I’m running out of time to write this morning. Whatever.

I did watch the US-England World Cup game Friday. I’m not sure why, but I did watch. That the Star Spangled Banner played right after God Save The King

I’m going to miss Drunk History; the Baltimore episode was everything that was great about that show.

Three more days. Three more days.

Small Business Saturday/Christmas Shopping

Well, I’ve been trying to figure a lot of this out considering the circumstances of this year.

I have lots of folks who’ve told me that they don’t want anything, but I’ll probably end up getting something small for many of them.

So. What have I ordered? Lorenzotti Coffee. Dunno if it’ll pop on the AMEX Small Biz Saturday or not, but it’s worth a shot to show support for Johnny over at Peddling Fiction.

I surveyed the offerings on Goldbelly to see if there was anything interesting there, but didn’t find anything, really.

I’m still looking for fruitcake, but don’t really feel like paying what they want. Maybe I’ll look at what it would take to make one.

Tonight for dinner, I think we’ll order delivery from one of the local restaurants.

I do feel like I should be doing more, but I’m still kind of exhausted, even with the Tysabri dose kicking in full today.

Still feel like lots of things are unfinished, but, at the same time, I’ve done what I can in most cases. And doing the unfinished things, at this point, seems like an exercise in futility.

Four more days.

Free Write

I figured that this prompt would be an opportunity to describe a few things that have happened over the past few days.

Thanksgiving was okay. Looks like things are moving along what what I went down to do at the beginning of the month.

Football was good, even if I didn’t like some of the results. Food was good. Checked work stuff for a minute this morning and will log on a little more formally tomorrow to look, but I really just don’t have impetus to do anything today.

This Microsoft automatic spelling and grammar is annoying as hell.

Leave my extra, Oxford(?), commas alone, okay?

I guess I could shop some, look at the “Black Friday” deals, but I really don’t know a lot of things that other people I’m buying for want.

Just have this sense that things are kind of at a completed point.

News….the President wants to ban semiautomatic weapons. To me, this seems like the same sort of thing — keep trying to repeat something that had a modicum of success in the past, thinking it’ll work the same way in the future.

So do that, I suppose. I’m not going to snitch on anyone who in violating the whim, and will push for the government to get rid of theirs first.

That’s not going to happen, of course, but it should.

(Apologies to myself, and future readers for the hyperlink that’ll probably be dead a couple of years from now….)

Off and check HN. This.

Yeah, nothing is really fitting, and I’m on my second cup of coffee.

So off to try to relax some. Maybe.

Thanksgiving

I suppose I should detail the things I’m thankful for, my plans for the day, etc..

That said, at this point, I’m not sure I feel like doing that. Late night of work last night, combined with still exhaustion from all that happened over the last few weeks, I’m not really focused-in on other things. Like the nasty bruise on my right hip that I caught a glimpse of this morning.

Strange-ass dream last night. Probably inspired by the shooting in Chesapeake

That sorty has really dropped the fuck off the top of the headlines this morning after more details have come to light. The things I pointed out yesterday were pretty much correct. There won’t be pictures of Lt. Gov. Sears holding a rifle. (She’s a Marine. She does what Marines do. And you shouldn’t be worried about that unless you’re their physical enemy. Or are impeding progress….)

Also things about COVID for the day. China’s Zero-COVID policy isn’t working, and people are starting to get pissed about it. Or this one. Yes, I’d imagine COVID isn’t fun. Am I really worried about catching it? No. I’m certainly not worried about dying from it.

I could say the same of climate change, Greta.

Maybe my attitude will be a little brighter after some coffee. Who knows?

My wife roasted some things for the meal today this afternoon. My f’d-up senses had me smelling tobacco smoke.

Literally can’t even.

*Glances over at news*

Bing thinks i’m in Ballimore. Interesting.

We don’t have dessert for today. I have an idea that I’m going to pitch to my wife she gets back from taking a walk with the dog.

Radio Reminiscence (From September 23, 2004 about Air America)

Ah, yes, this is somewhat apropro, as I’ve been listening to Fly On The Wall. (Al Franken, before he was on the tranwreck that was Air America was on SNL…)

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The entry is up on the blog, but some of the links no longer work. I also talk about being in Orkut jail…..

I decided to look a bit more at Air America’s ratings now, since they’ve managed to be on the air six months now…..
Minneapolis/St. Paul
Air America is on KSMM/WMIN. KSTP and WCCO are the big talkers in the market.
Al Franken and his Public Radio gigglebitch are both from Minnesota.
KSTP and WCCO have a combined 12.8. KSMM and WMIN have a combined 0.8.
In New York City, WLIB is back to where it was before AA made it the flagship station (it was broadcasting in like Korean, I think), and WABC still has over three times as many listeners.
Yep, this is a successful operation.
And once again, it proves not that liberals can’t do talk radio — that’s not what it proves at all. It proves that radio amateurs can’t do talk radio.
Alan Colmes is a good talk show host. I much prefer him to some of the right-wing idiots (hello, mister weiner!). Al Franken is a shitty talk show host, saddled with a public radio leech who whispers into her tinny low-budget microphone.
Randi Rhodes is barely adequate. She’s maybe good enough to handle an afternoon show in a mid-sized market.
Don’t get me started on the other hosts, it’s just not worth the effort to type….

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Franken lost his polemical career for pretending he grouped a sleeping woman on a USO tour plane.

I disagree with his politics, and thought Air America was shit, but his comedy is funny.

RIP, too, to Alan Colmes who I met sometime after I wrote that….along with Sean Hannity. Radio people were hit-or-miss in-person. The ones who were real misses, well, one is also dead, one has gone on to big cable TV success, another I have no idea about, and don’t care to look.

But it’s such a different world almost twenty years later. I went and looked at the cumulative numbers for the stations where I used to work a few months ago; if the stations had pulled numbers that small when I was there, everybody would have been firedlaid off.

Speaking of Tidewater, Chesapeake made big news for a shooting at a Walmart where I’ve shopped many times.

The shooter was a Walmart employee.
No assault weapons weren’t used.
Doesn’t seem to be motivated by bias of any sort…
And, since I started plunking away at this, the perpetrator has been identified. Kinda doubt he’s a supremacist of any sort. (Doesn’t managing a Walmart kinda exclude you from that….?)

But the typical politicians are still pushing hard for more gun laws.

What can you say? (When you think government is the solution to everything, you wind with a lot more people in prison than lives saved. Hello, Mr. President, Madam Vice President….)

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I’m hoping it goes well.

Kinda craving fruitcake. I guess the podcast who’d been selling them as a fundraiser quit that after I’d stopped listening. I tried listening again a few weeks ago, and there just wasn’t anything to keep me around.

I try to forgive. It normally doesn’t work out. Maybe that makes me the bad person. But I don’t care. If I turned it off, most likely it’s because I was bored. But there are some that it was because of something egregious. This was the latter.

Seven more days.

But I think I’ve pretty much done what I was intending to do with this one.

Dates that will live in Infamy

I think if you’re at all familiar with US history, you get where I’m going with this.

This did come up recently on a podcast that Justin Campbell did Fact Check This.

When I was doing research into this as an undergrad, there was an interesting split among the demographers. I consider myself Generation X. The US Census Bureau agrees. Some of the academics, however, don’t. My parents were (typing that is a bit strange, seeing as how my mother is still alive…) early Baby Boomers. I was born before the kickoff of the 1980 campaign. I remember bits and pieces of the Reagan reelection campaign. The teachers were in the smokingteachers’ lounge watching Christa McAuliffe on 1/28/1986.

How much cultural relevance would startup.com have to anyone born after 1980? How about Office Space?

I apologize that this is kind of scatterbrained. I’m tired. But I did get my recharge this morning, so maybe I can enjoy Thanksgiving.

What do I do for Small Business Saturday? How many of those are left after so many were destroyed to save people from the scourge of COVID?

What is the shared moment for the generation born from 1995 – 2010? Why doesn’t that generation also run twenty years like the Boomers?

I really don’t know. I wonder if my Flooz are on a backup somewhere.

Thanksgiving plan

To put it very simply — nothing.

Of course, that’s not entirely true. Sarah and I are going to stay home, have a less-elaborate meal for just the two of us.

I’m not terribly upset about that.

Bills at the Lions
Giants at the Cowboys
Pats at the Vikings

Actually could be some good football. Disappointed that there’s no weather, but that’s kind of to be expected with Dallas now playing in an indoor stadium.

I am not planning to work Friday, but that’s always up-in-the-air with what I do. I’m okay with this.

I guess I could sort of miss the family gathering some, but I’m really not sure how much I could enjoy it at this poing.

Maybe I shouldn’t say that with the progress I’ve made over the past couple of years, but it’s where I am, attitude-wise.

I want a break. Is that because of the weather? Is it end-of-dose blahs? Who know.

MRI later this afternoon.  Some work tonight.  Infusion tomorrow morning.  Party.