No Hard Feelings

Title of Bloodhound Gang’s epic song about birthdays.

Ain’t my job/to fuck you on your birthday

The radio edit of that one is a completely different song

It’s like Cee-Lo several years ahead of schedule…..

So, yeah, this is the end, and tomorrow is my birthday.

When I decided to do this this Summer, I was kind of floundering around, looking for something halfway interesting to do, pass the time until this horrible experience is over.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this has been a horrible experience.

Not only has my health been troublesome, I’m amazingly underpaid, and in a position suited for someone with far fewer qualifications.

At the same time, I’ve been able over the past few months, to get a better handle on what I should be looking for.

I’ve made mistakes. I’ve gotten bad advice. But that’s over, now.

And so is being thirty-five.


What brings out the best in you?

  1. Challenge. I like to be challenged, mentally. And, yes, Governor Perry, that does mean you can do more pull-ups than I can. But I like to have opportunities where I can work through a problem, and find a simple, creative answer.
  2. With that, I do appreciate constructive feedback, criticism. Sometimes it can be curt, of course, but you do have to have a point about something better. I think back to a final from college, where I wrote a rather compelling brief addressing the question as a tort. My professor came back with something along the lines of, “your argument is solid; you should have used the UCC.” In doing that, she revealed that there was a part of that coursework I’d missed. I was incredibly angry with this professor, but it made me go back and review the oversight I’d made. The initial approach is sometimes the wrong one. That’s okay, and that’s why you engineer things in the first place! Full disclosure: finishing this up after work, and touching a raw nerve. (Yes, I know mine are frayed, but the metaphor is the same.) The prescription provided me is probably incorrect. After considering the problem, I suggested a different approach. “I’ll have to look at it.” But I left knowing my idea will likely be cast aside until this particular individual needs something to make him appear brilliant to someone else. That brings me to;
  3. Proper attribution. If I do something right, give me the credit for it. If I fuck something up, point it out. I’m okay with it either way….


What’s your favorite birthday memory? What is your worst birthday memory?
Best? I had a job interview on my birthday. One of the women on the panel I glanced at several times; “I know this chick from somewhere.”

But I never figured it out.

For the next five years, we worked in the same building never making the connection until one day I was talking to the guy in the office next door to hers. He was (probably still is?) married to a German woman he’d met when he was stationed over there. We were talking about the places we’d been, and I mentioned the place where I’d lived the longest.

From the next office, “HEIDELBERG??!?”

Yes, that’s where I knew her from, almost twenty years later.
She was a cheerleader, when I played football. She was a couple of years ahead of me, so we didn’t know each other that well, but I recognized the face.

(We won’t get into the fact that I’d been trying hard to play kissyface with one of the other squadmembers back then….)

So, with that, I got that job, and it really did suit me in a lot of different ways.
It’s where I was when I got really sick.
It’s where I was when I married.
It’s where I was when I lost my dad.
It’s where I was wehn I finally took a week-and-a-half off for the first time in years to honeymoon with my wife….

So, yeah, I remember that birthday, and that interview for those reasons.

Worst birthday? I don’t know.

The last one wasn’t great, because I was still unemployed, and we were running out of money……
I think I’ve had to work through a few.
Maybe a hurricane at the radio stations one year?
I don’t remember.
I’ve been sick a couple, though none self-induced.

I want Baskin Robins’ Ice Cream Cake.


Another day where I’m going to skip the prompt I’d recycled.

I’m not at work; it was a hundred degrees in there. After half an hour, my vision and breathing were starting to go.

This is the sort of thing I have to put up with, physically.

I’m not happy that my boss wasn’t forthright enough to come check on me, or, if he’d gotten there before I did, call me and tell me that I should stay away.

So, there’s that.

On a similar note, I’ve had this out-of-town recruiter trying hard to get me.

The money is right.
The situation is a little sketchy.
It’s in a city I know little about, and questionable public transportation. (At the same time, it’s a city I’m very intrigued with the possibilities….)

I finally told him I can’t drive; we’ll see if that sends him away.

I become more and more convinced with each passing day that we belong somewhere up the Northeast Regional line.

Though it’s still hot during the summers, and colder during the winters, I can get around, and the cold doesn’t bother me as much as the heat does.


Somehow I missed a prompt a prompt for today. I didn’t miss the three birthdays of friends and family on Facebook.

THow is baby formed after Thanksgiving turkey? Yes, it’s a bit disturbing to think about your parents getting’ busy while visiting their families, but., there’s a reason there’s so many late-August birthdays.

But, barring the prompt, I don’t know if my spiel about why I write got posted, and I’m too perpetualy exhausted to go back and and look.

I do this for me; it’s something that keeps me on track.

I have things to say, and forcing them out on schedule helps keep it coming.

But, the biggest takeaway from this weekend? It’s not log enough.

I’m tired of this situation. I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of being away from my wife. I’m tired of my eighth of a cubicle. I’m tired being on pins and needles because there’s been no option execution on my contract.

“That’s all I’m gonna say about that.”


what characteristics define you, and make you unique?

This is tough. I am odd, and have been since I was very young.

Listing those things out is trying, especially in light of my situation.

I’m not a perfectionist, because I realize few things are perfect. I do appreciate simple quality, and hope the things I’ve worked on reflect that.

I have varied tastes in entertainment. Few like the same sorts of movies, music, radio as I do.

That I’m on my own Kent make me want to sit against a locker, wishing I could go listen to Linkin Park.


Free. Free Writing

Am I gonna have to pay royalties to Tom Petty on that bit like that dude had to for Stay With Me?

But I guess it’s the overall progression and vibe, not so much the lyrics. See: George Harrison with My Sweet Lord/He’s So Fine.

I forgot my laptop’s power supply at where I’m staying while I’m not in prison. Pfft.

But I came home when I needed to, and surviv d another workweek.


Is there an aspect of your personality you wish you could chnage?

That’s a tough question. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I’m too trusting of ordinary people sometimes.

I don’t think my boss is out to get me.
I don’t think the government is out to get me.
I don’t think evil corporations are out to get me.

I’ve never attributed to malice what could more easily be explained by ignorance or stupidity.

“They’re not bad; they’re just stpid.”

Maybe that makes me a fool.

But, whatever. I could spend lots of spoons thinking about how I’ve been fucked over. But I don’t have enough to waste.


Today sucked in its own, special way. Still no news on WTF is going on with my work situation towards the end of the month.

At the same time, I’m really excited about some other things that have cropped up, potentially having time to devote to my company, etc..

We’ll see.

So, on to the recycled prompt.

Funniest or weirdest memory from a relationship?

Isolating a single memory is tough; my dating roster was pretty sparse, and I’ve been with Sarah now more than nine years.

Should I talk about the one who my dog used to steal her seat on the couch when she got up…?
Should I talk about getting stuck in a hotel elevator in formalwear?
Should I talk about lifting in and out of the Jeep, because she couldn’t stretch her legs enough to climb in and out?
Should I talk about the one I didn’t miss after we broke up, but I did miss her kid?

There’s a reason things didn’t work; it’s been a long time, now.

Since I don’t want to remember, which of them was funny?


What changes would you make in your life if you could?
Anyone who knows me, even a little, would know my two answers on this…

  1. Not have MS.
  2. Have a different job.

While I’m not optimistic about number one in the near future, I am hopeful on number two. Especially since I’m almost certain htis one ends two weeks from Friday. This ends before that, but I’ll try to update.

I could continue with a story about my employer’s attempt to fool me, but I’ll hold that one.

But, back to the topic, I’m sort of optimistic about my prospects beyond this outhouse where I currently work.

And it may well be DC, ahead of my wife, unfortunately.