Twenty

No flashback today. Just free-write.

There’s not a ton to say other than I’m tired, and feel accomplished.

I finished paying protection for my certification protection racket paid so I can keep working for a few more years.

Seriously. How the fuck is this not a racket, exempt from RICO?

Hopefully it’s worth it. This is different than at some of the times in the past; I didn’t pay for the materials with money I don’t have.

But I’m finished.

And now, maybe, I can relax after my bit of work tonight.

Happy birthday to me, I suppose.

The daily writing didn’t really feel like much of a drag. I can only think of once when it seemed like I was getting distracted by other things.

More to come in November. Maybe I can enjoy that this year, finally.

Nineteen

Tysabri tomorrow. It can’t come quickly enough, though I didn’t get an answer when I called today to confirm my appointment.

I think the place where I get them is actually only open Tuesday and Thursday at this point, which would explain the lack of a callback.

That leads me to the news I started looking at before I started writing. Even though I really don’t much like the rich white people’s welfare that is NPR, or their cited source, of Reddit, interesting story about fitness speakeasies.

No shit..

Is anyone really surprised by this?

Eat special foods, drink alcohol, have sex, engage in capitalism. You, know, basic human things. Government can’t stop them. Not in prison.

Those things even happen in prison. Government isn’t going to stop them.

I would say, “sorry,” but there’s nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t be sorry that you don’t understand that.

And, no, people who engage in those things aren’t bad, either. They’re humans. Deal with it.

Spent time today trying to plan out time off so I don’t lose a bunch of PTO at the end of the year. Ugh. I kind of played hard-to-get with this job, and, as a result, I ended up getting a lot of PTO in lieu of money. I loved my last gig, and would have stayed for just a little more money. Oh well.

Flashback time.


08/19/2010 – 8/19/2010

So, after last night’s knot, tonight’s was a gusher. Must have hit a vein or something.

My mother has discovered she likes text messaging on her iPhone. I’m not sure this is a good thing. Neither is my dad, considering he’s having to modify their plain to support it……

Work is a mess. I’m just not sure why I’m doing the work they have me doing. It’s nothing but frustration. The processes are insufficient, so you bolster them, so people just ignore the processes, which means more processes are needed, etc.

Systems engineering is perhaps a bigger pseudoscience than homeopathy. Why am I doing it? I can read, write, and speak. Many other IT people can’t be bothered to do the first, and simply can’t do the last two. A year ago, I might have recoiled more, but at this point, I’m operating under the realization that it’s something I can continue doing if my body further fails me. But it also means I probably ought to think more about grad school. Ugh.

I am halfway tempted to see what additional accommodations I could get as a “disabled” student. Is that wrong? 😉


Homoeopathy. Um. Ever see people start acting drunk when they’re plied with non-alcoholic beer, but don’t know that?

The mention of higher education was interesting considering that it’d not be terribly long before my wife was in that world.

I’ve seen bits here and there that say that, yes, I could do what I considered back then.

But, why?

I’m finished, and I shouldn’t be wasting someone else’s money doing it.

Eighteen

Very long day. I’m tried, but almost finished with this stretch, at least.

News:

New coronavirus! Everybody panic!

Still discouraged about the thing I stumbled across yesterday. I think I might like living “in the swamp” if there were things around to enjoy.

Instead, there’s just creeping statism. I can’t really bring myself to approve.

Or care.

I would like a nice cocktail. I kinda suck when it comes to bartending.

I also don’t have the right stuff, and being now-eternally-blue Virginia, I can’t get things delivered.

I have to go somewhere to get my vote cast so it’s counted, and buy liquor.

But I only have to show ID at the ABC Store. How’s that work, again?

Flashback:


…and I didn’t even drink last night – 8/18/2002

Weird fuckin’ dream. I think I was down along the gulf coast, and I accidentally drove my car off a bridge. The rest of the dream was spent looking for and then fixing the car. In the meantime, I was finding all sorts of weird shit off the bottom of the ocean…..

But I got some good sleep….


Oh. Good sleep. Um. Yeah, being on the next-to-last day of my Tysabri infusion is probably part of the reason I’m not sleeping well right now

*yawn*

Seventen

Rather uneventful day, though I’m guessing that Microsoft pushed an update that broke a lot of smartcard applications.

News is rather slow, but I heard one of my various podcasts read this today.

Shit.

I kinda feel the same way, and the things about being in a big city are really gone. Who knows when they’ll come back.

Can I hold out long enough to let me get settled there? I really don’t know.

And after I do get settled, can I live peacefully? I’m not worried about the mob violencemostly-peaceful protests, but the agents of the state, itself. Would whatever I rig up for protection be protection against low-level criminals, or would be against agents of government?

Montgomery County, Maryland Democratic Republic (MDDR) got rid of no-knock warrants in drug cases. Plus, like, Marijuana has been decriminalized, anyway, so it’s not an issue. But they’re still fine for things other than drugs, so Duncan Lemp still happens.

I think it was TFC who were discussing recently that the “War On Drugs” is being replaced with a War on Guns.

But you don’t use drugs, or own guns!

I know, but that’s not the point.

They’ll still enforce it against the people who are least-able to take on corrupt government.

I have no idea what other site I was using when I wrote this. I transposed it to OD, but don’t have the site’s name anywhere.

Lessons?

  1. Be rich
  2. Put up whatever signs you think will dissuade looters
  3. Vote Democrat!

Maybe it’ll work. But I can’t do any of those, easily. I’m working on the first, but it’s a whole-hog approach.

We have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it…..

Flashback:


OJ #6 – 8/17/2002

Saturday, August 17th, 2002 2:55 am

I used to be 1337, now I’m just 14m3

So, yeah, I bought a Mac. B+W G3. Got it in Thursday afternoon. It’s been a bit of a chore to get everything up and running, but I think I’m finally getting there.

The machine I bought didn’t have an OS installed. No problem, because I wanted to run OS9 and OSX, anyway. I figured I’d grab a copy of OS9, and wait for OSX 10.2 to come out next week. First of all, I couldn’t find a copy of OS9. Nobody is selling it. I only found one copy on Pricegrabber, but it was like 85 bucks, and didn’t seem to be from a reputible dealer. So I went down to CompUSA and asked whether I’d still get the $29 upgrade to 10.2 if I went ahead and bought a copy of OSX 10.1. They said that’s the deal, so I decided to go ahead and buy it. When I opened the box, guess what was inside? A copy of OS9. Turns out OSX actually runs a copy of OS9 inside a virtual machine in order to run legacy apps……sorta like what OS/2 used to do with Windoze 3.1.

Anyway, to get “Classic” mode to work properly, you’ve gotta have a working OS9 install. But OS 9.2.1 refused to install on my machine. I needed a firmware upgrade. Okay, so I’ll just do that from inside OSX, because that installs fine. No dice. The installer only runs in the old OS. Shit. Long story short, an older version of OS9 I found at work allowed me to run the update, then install 9.2.1, which is what I’m running now. I always dug it anyway.

OSX is sweet in its own kind of way. Right now I’m basking in the nostalgia of old skool mac, yo. It’s been a long time away, and I feel like a tool for not getting one of these sooner.

In conclusion……see the subject.

Current Mood: nostalgic


I gave that Mac away after lending it several times. OS X 10.1 was fun in that if Finder crashed, you couldn’t do anything with the machine at all. Unless you turned on ssh access. Then you could ssh to it, and reboot it.

With my opening topic in mind, I can only imagine if computers were regulated like the rest of the economy. There’d be a regulation that says I have to be able to run 68K Carbon binaries on my new Macbook Air.

Yeah. Good luck with that.

Sixteen

Motivation to not write is kind of high this morning.

In a way, this is a good thing.

No, today I’m working to not do anything work-like.

I should plan some time the rest of the year when I’m not going to work.

Maybe when my protection is finally paid, I will finally take some time to myself.

But what can I do?

I really don’t have any idea.

So. News.

CNet has a story about when the next stimulus checks could arrive.

But nothing’s been passed. Is CNet just itching for people to get more checks so they buy new tech stuff? I know that most of the ones we got before went to buy new iPhones for me and my wife.

But I’m still having trouble putting my finger on a few things I want. “What do you want for your birthday??!?”

I don’t know. There’s new stuff I could use, certainly, but I just don’t have the really do anything..

Maybe that’s a desire to retire in a way?

Don’t know.

So flashback….


Billy, You like movies about Gladiators? – 8/16/2001

Blah blah blah…not working, tired, blah blah blah porn.

Billy, You ever been in a Turkish Prison?

I’ve developed a distinct problem as excess testosterone kicks in. See, it’s like this….although I’m twenty-two in less than a week, I cannot grow a beard, despite my best efforts. I get weird patches of growth, and none of it ever comes in very well. I still have that problem. And it was okay, though, because although shaving bothers me, I was able to go two days between shaves if needbe. Not anymore. I’m developing five o’clock shadow. So I have to shave. Or not. I can just look…..scruffy.

Billy, You ever hang around a gymnaisium?

Am excited that I may get to meet an OD’er IRL. 😉 Will give details if it happens, and if there’s mutual consent to do so. That’s later today, now, I guess. It’s going to be busy. [REDACTED] birthday today. She was born on the one-year anniversary of Elvis Death Day.

Billy, You ever seen a grown man naked?


My head works like a radio show. Stern. Don & Mike. Corolla. Various drops interspersed in the main though stream.

Kinda how I roll.

*quackquack*

Yeah. Never was much in to Imus.

Fifteen

Last night’s discussions were somewhat infuriating.

Though his prescriptive pretention annoys the living shit out of me sometimes, I do listen to Mike O’Meara normally a couple of days a week. One of concepts that comes up on his show more than a little is the concept of “douchebag thirties.”

For dudes, especially single dudes, it can get to be completely maddening.

I’m wondering if I avoided a lot of that with my health issues combined with the employment issues I’ve had helped me avoid a lot of it.

It’s hard to have any cocksure attitude when basically nothing on your body is working properly.

But I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have been quite that um….there’s a word, but I’m not sure what it is.

So. After spreading around the idea that the Non-Aggression Principle, and Libertarianism are the roots of all arguments, you try to argue from authority, and use a source that pretty much nobody’s ever heard of?

Maybe it’s easier when politics is your faith. You’ve embraced certain precepts, and those who dare question are heretics, well…..

I talked recently about people missing my hints on what I wanted for my birthday least year. So, I’ll leave it here, and see if anyone who’d be repeatedly asking me about what i want is paying the least bit of attention.

I want IT stuff. I need a new PC. This ancient AMD desktop is incredibly annoying. Plus it’s running Windows 8 because the Windows 10 install wasn’t allowed when I try. I gave up trying, and don’t want to mess with it too much because I’ve used a license for Microsoft Office on it, and don’t think I can reactivate it.

I also think I want a non-Amazon tablet.

I was also thinking about a NAS device so I can back things up, and stop paying Amazon for storage. Or anything. I’m purposefully trying not to give them my money. I have my own reasons for that. I could go on and on about that decision, but it’s not something that most people would care about. It’s my choice. Why I made my choice is my own business. Please don’t try to prevent me from making a decision different than what yours might have been.

Freedom is difficult to undrstand.

News.

Toronto strip club employee may have exposed 500 people to COVID-19

Well, the customers get paid to get exposed in a way…

Flashback —


8/15/2011 – 8/15/2011

It’s always amusing to listen to your higher-ups try to explain something to you that they, themselves, don’t understand.


This is something continues to be an issue. With the date on this, it wasn’t perhaps the most egregious misinformation I ever heard from management, but this obviously annoyed me.

Maybe that was less egregious considering it was someone trying to explain it to me, not someone else. You know, like a customer?

i had someone I worked for describe something I’d cobbled together as being “written in Java.” No, you Moran, the interface was written in PHP, and the hardware interface was written in C. Trying to do RS232 communications in Java was barely possible then. I don’t code anymore, but it’s probably still really questionable.

Whatever.

This was the same guy whose wife was getting corporate direction by consulting with a medium in Sedona. No. I didn’t make that up. Nor could have I. That place was that nuts.

Towards the end of my time there I was driving about 150 miles a day getting to and from the office. I was driving so much because the company had just walked away from the lease on the local office where I was working.

I’d taken to, in my last couple of months there, to cashing my paychecks at their bank, then driving back to Tidewater with a bunch of cash to deposit into my credit union account because I was worried about their check bouncing.

And I’m stopping now.

Fourteen

Going to knock out things early this morning just because I’m awake, and then I don’t have to worry about it later.

News.

The biggest thing was something that came across late yesterday afternoon, that Biden wants everybody to wear masks outside of their houses.

My initial reaction was that he wouldn’t have the authority to do that as President.

As the news trickled in, no, he wants governors to mandate it.

Um. Closer, but may not be possible in every state.

Orange Man Bad also checked in on the “other” side.

Does wearing one protect you from getting it, or does it protect other people?

Blah blah blah.

I can’t help but think that this is a last minute push to ensure that he’s put more people in prison than Kamala Harris.

I normally wear a mask on the rare occasions I’m outside. I’m the one who might be more susceptible to catching the disease.

Might.

*searches for current numbers, does quick maths*

3.17% fatality rate. (Take the number of deaths, divide by the number of confirmed cases, multiply by 100….. You’re still not getting what I think is probably a very large number of people who’ve had it, and nobody would have even thought twice to do a test to confirm that.)

Being sick with it would suck, but I’m not terribly concerned about dying from it at this point.

Concerned about dying from something the state does, well, yeah, I’m worried about that, even more after watching another George Floyd officer’s bodycam video last night.

I was also thinking about one of the places where it’d sort of make sense to consider living, and thinking that I’d be more concerned about defending myself and my property from the police than from criminals.

When you’ve reached that point, maybe, just maybe, your government has reached the point of being oppressive.

But what else should I expect from the Maryland Democratic Republic (MDDR), and a locality that really seems to envy the power that the Stasi posessed.

Flashback time.


She thinks she missed the train to Mars…. – 8/14/2002

….she’s out back counting stars.

Drove well into North Carolina last night, and still couldn’t get out of the haze. So I went home and drank.

Am I really pathetic that entertainment for me is The Sopranos on DVD, Tonito’s pizza, and Budweiser?

Yep.

So, the job of network admin was dangled in front of my face this afternoon…..

I’ve reluctantly agreed to go through the motions that’ll get me the job. At the same time, I think I’ve more than proven myself, and the job ought to be mine now. Not after I fix their fscking problems.

But I ain’t gonna say that. 🙂


I actually bought a copy of that song from iTunes before Apple decided to go to the Apple Music thing. So it’s one of the things that pops up in my library sometimes.

Sometime after I started drafting this, it actually started randomly after I hit play on my wireless earbuds. I was intending for it to resume the podcast I’d been listening to previously.

I think I bought the track after Kennedy played it as a bump on one of her shows.

HUM were never really something I was into when they were popular, but I guess I that song stuck, even years after it was released. (See the 2002 date from when I referenced it….)

Okay. Back to paying my protection racked. After I sleep for a while longer.

Thirteen

This was something from 8/13/2000. I don’t have my original responses, unfortunately, so I’m just going to go through it with responses from today.


New Survey Questions – 8/13/2000

This one’s gonna be rather personal, so beware….

Name: Sean
Occupation: Nerd
Time you’ve been on OD: Note that this is something from Open Diary. I started writing there in 1999, coming back from my self-imposed separation from doing this after the unfortunate incident as a high school student in 1994.
Current hours of continuous depression: Yeah, I have no idea what this was from. Not many.
Current hours of continuous boredom: Zero.
Alcohol
Last time you were drunk: It’s been awhile. I had a double G&T last night with a beer chaser. I don’t remember feeling much of anything.
Poison: I really don’t even know. Gin is probably most frequent.
Fave drink: Sazerac
Last time you were drunk on fave drink: Never? Those are tough to do more than one.
Last time drinking made you drive the porcelain buick: I don’t know. It’s been a very long time; more than a decade ago.
Last time drinking made you not make it to the porcelain buick: I don’t know that that’s ever happened.
Margaritas–frozen or on the rocks: On the rocks
Margaritas–salt oder nein: Salt
Beer–Best: I don’t have anything in particular, really. I will say that if there’s Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald available, I’ll probably drink it. Cleveland beer.
Beer–Worst: I don’t know. MGD, maybe? Rolling Rock? Michelob Ultra actually might be like sex in a canoe; fucking near water.
Have you consumed the following ghetto drinks:
MadDog 20/20: Yes.
Boone’s Farm: Yes.
Ripple: Yes.
Thunderbird: Yes.
Malt Liquor: Yes. And nobody got the hint last year that I might have wanted a 40-ounce Old English for my 40th birthday….
Moonshine: Yes
Wine Coolers: Yes
Zima: Yes
Tobacco
Do you smoke cigarettes: Not anymore.
Brand: N/A
Cigars: Not anymore.
Brand: N/A
Number of ashtrays in your house/flat/tenament/trailer/cardboard box/parkbench: Zero
Pipe: I’ve smoked one before, yes, but I’ve never owned one.
Fave pipe tobacco: No idea
Ever chewed snuff: Yes
Ever actually snuffed snuff: No
Ever chewed Long Cut: Yes
Ever chewed plug: No
Did you puke the first time you chewed: No. I was worried about that, naturally, with my fear of vomiting.

That whole section was pretty much unnecessary. I haven’t had any real tobacco in over ten years.


Firearms
Do you own any: No
What’s your fave in your collection: I don’t have any. Probably not a good idea for a guy too blind to drive.
Do you have a placard on your truck that reads “Driver carries at least $20 in ammo.”: I don’t have a truck
Number of shotguns in your gunrack in said truck: I don’t have a truck
Do you think a gun shop in the East End of Newport News is a good business opportunity: No.
Motoring
What hydrocarbon powered vehicles do you own: Zero. I’m too blind to drive.
From whom did you buy it: N/A
Is it a Ford: I owned one for something like eight years. I had fun in it for a while….when it wasn’t raining.
If so, is it green: No. It was red.
Brand of tires: I was a longtime BFG fan. But the Dunlop ATs I had on one of my Jeeps were great. On the Mustang, I was very skeptical about tires from Worst Korea, but the Kumhos I had on the Mustang were the best ones I ever had on it. Where you normally get petrol/gas: N/A. I haven’t driven since 2012.
Stick or automatic: I never owned a car with an automatic.
Sex
Have you had sex: I’m married.
What’s your magic number: For my wife and I to know. But, since I met my wife, it’s been one.
When was the last time you had sex: It’s happened in the past few weeks.
Was it good: No comment.
Has it ever been good: Yes.
What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done: Nunya
Make an inventory of your sex toys: Nunya
Number of times a day you masturbate: Somewhere around zero.
Does this number vary with the frequency of sex: Yes.
What does your mother know of your sex life: Very little. She does know that I’ve been married for almost a decade, and she’s probably not getting grandkids.
Food
Have you ever thought about food while having sex: I’m sure it’s happened, but I can’t recall a particular instance any time recently.
Have you ever used food for sex: Um?
What’s your favorite food: I really am not sure at this point.
Do you think there should be litigation against the fast food resturants like the tobacco companies: No.
Do you eat at French Restaurants: Yes.
What’s wrong with you: Many things.
What did you eat last: Ritz Crisps
Did you cook it: No
How bad is the heartburn: I’m on meds for that.


News after the flashback/entry.

Joe Biden wants to mandate masks. NPR, aka entertainment for rich white people, reports

No mention of penalty, jail, prison. But that’s the way they want it. Yes, I’ll wear a mask. No, I don’t think the state should throw you in prison for not wearing one. Joe disagrees. Who’s put more people in prison — Joe or his running mate? Is it easier to sniff hair through a mask?

Twelve

Sofa King busy.

The cesspool that is Facebook is blocking this link, so I’ll be sure to share.

Obviously, that Biden’s handlers chose Kamala The Cop as the Vice President is the biggest story of the day.

Embedding a Tweet:



The mayor of DC paved over street art saying “Defund The Police” just as Kamala The Cop was being rolled out as the VP candidate.

Protest is okay so long as it’s state-approved in the manner they like. “Black LIves Matter Plaza” == good. “Defund The Police” == can’t have that.


8/12/05 – 8/12/2005

Still alive.

Been just working hard, with nothing much to say. It’s weird, however; I’m kicking ass at work these days, which brings praise. But I hate being doted over — really hate being recognized for anything publicly. I know some people thrive on that, but….

You want to get through to me about appreciation? It ain’t hard.

Pay me.

I suppose I should talk a bit about what I’m doing after my “promotion.” Essentially, I’m now the IT director for my company. I administer all of the computers in the office (now probably approaching 80), including the mission-critical air machines. Up until two weeks ago, this job had been divided among three people. Now it’s just me. (I’ve also still got some air stuff; let’s just put it this way……if I couldn’t be on the air, I’d go and do the same thing for a lot more money)

Compounding the problem is that we’ve been moving approximately a third of the staff due to the construction after the flood. It’s been a hassle, and the whole adjusting-to-daytime thing is trying, also.

There seems to be some forward momentum in life again, although somehow this seems sort of dead-end unless I can get something going on the air side, too. If anything, I hope I can make enough money to get myself into a better financial situation before I have to go look for another job (or go back to school).

Other shit….

Got new glasses today. They make me feel like I’m about fifteen feet tall. I’m not sure if this is going to work out. Took A. along when I went and picked out frames since she was a) so critical of my old ones, and b) thinks I needed some to make me look better so I can get married like everyone else…. >:-{ Ain’t like that’s going to happen anytime soon, anyway. But…..never know. I’ve been trying to get out more, be social, etc. etc.


That was an interesting tidbit, and there was no way to know that it’d be over in, what, three months?

The glasses bit was interesting, too. That would have been the last time I had an exam where the optometrist/ophthalmologist was able to correct me to 20/20 in both eyes.

The next year I’d have what was termed an “optic nerve contusion,” and really screwed up my vision for several weeks. (Probably and uncaught MS exacerbation)

In 2008, the optometrist couldn’t get me to 20/20 in the left eye, but I was pretty much okay.

In 2009, I barely passed the vision test for my license renewal.

By late 2012, I’d quit trying to drive at all.

Hmm….

Eleven

Very long day at work, but I’m doing this because I committed to doing it.

Even though I know I shouldn’t.

But I’m thinking it might make me feel a bit better.

Mmmmmyeah.

That’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

I went to look for news, then I remembered seeing this on Twitter:

Let’s make sure we don’t offend the blessed police union.

And Kamala is the VP selection is in.

To paraphrase Michael Malice — who’s put more black people in prison, Joe Biden or Kamala Harris?

So, which couple is more interesting to share a bottle of wine with — Don and Mike, or Joe and Kamala?

I kinda doubt Don and Mike drink, but I think they’d be less likely to lock people up for choosing to do it, so I don’t know…..

Flashback time, and I have no earthly idea what this was about.


Man, that sucked. – 8/11/2003

So, I made it through, and now everybody has disappeared again.

My life continues…

And as usual, I’m insomniac.

Well, the wedding itself……I’d never met any of her family other than one of her cousins who was a bridesmaid (and has ahem grown up since she was in high school), and her mother. As expected, there were many, many more of her family there than of mine. Things went off basically without a hitch. No cold feet or anything. But the entire time was torture for me, except when I ran out to get shaving cream to fix my brother’s car.

But even worse than the wedding was the constant probing about what’s up with my love life. The answer is “nothing” followed by “and I can deal with that okay.”


I was wondering what that was about, but, reading it more closely, it was about a wedding.

Um. Yeah. I’m not going to elaborate a lot more; the marriage didn’t last.

But shaving cream does do interesting things to a Ford’s paint job.