This was something from 8/13/2000. I don’t have my original responses, unfortunately, so I’m just going to go through it with responses from today.

New Survey Questions – 8/13/2000

This one’s gonna be rather personal, so beware….

Name: Sean
Occupation: Nerd
Time you’ve been on OD: Note that this is something from Open Diary. I started writing there in 1999, coming back from my self-imposed separation from doing this after the unfortunate incident as a high school student in 1994.
Current hours of continuous depression: Yeah, I have no idea what this was from. Not many.
Current hours of continuous boredom: Zero.
Last time you were drunk: It’s been awhile. I had a double G&T last night with a beer chaser. I don’t remember feeling much of anything.
Poison: I really don’t even know. Gin is probably most frequent.
Fave drink: Sazerac
Last time you were drunk on fave drink: Never? Those are tough to do more than one.
Last time drinking made you drive the porcelain buick: I don’t know. It’s been a very long time; more than a decade ago.
Last time drinking made you not make it to the porcelain buick: I don’t know that that’s ever happened.
Margaritas–frozen or on the rocks: On the rocks
Margaritas–salt oder nein: Salt
Beer–Best: I don’t have anything in particular, really. I will say that if there’s Great Lakes Edmund Fitzgerald available, I’ll probably drink it. Cleveland beer.
Beer–Worst: I don’t know. MGD, maybe? Rolling Rock? Michelob Ultra actually might be like sex in a canoe; fucking near water.
Have you consumed the following ghetto drinks:
MadDog 20/20: Yes.
Boone’s Farm: Yes.
Ripple: Yes.
Thunderbird: Yes.
Malt Liquor: Yes. And nobody got the hint last year that I might have wanted a 40-ounce Old English for my 40th birthday….
Moonshine: Yes
Wine Coolers: Yes
Zima: Yes
Do you smoke cigarettes: Not anymore.
Brand: N/A
Cigars: Not anymore.
Brand: N/A
Number of ashtrays in your house/flat/tenament/trailer/cardboard box/parkbench: Zero
Pipe: I’ve smoked one before, yes, but I’ve never owned one.
Fave pipe tobacco: No idea
Ever chewed snuff: Yes
Ever actually snuffed snuff: No
Ever chewed Long Cut: Yes
Ever chewed plug: No
Did you puke the first time you chewed: No. I was worried about that, naturally, with my fear of vomiting.

That whole section was pretty much unnecessary. I haven’t had any real tobacco in over ten years.

Do you own any: No
What’s your fave in your collection: I don’t have any. Probably not a good idea for a guy too blind to drive.
Do you have a placard on your truck that reads “Driver carries at least $20 in ammo.”: I don’t have a truck
Number of shotguns in your gunrack in said truck: I don’t have a truck
Do you think a gun shop in the East End of Newport News is a good business opportunity: No.
What hydrocarbon powered vehicles do you own: Zero. I’m too blind to drive.
From whom did you buy it: N/A
Is it a Ford: I owned one for something like eight years. I had fun in it for a while….when it wasn’t raining.
If so, is it green: No. It was red.
Brand of tires: I was a longtime BFG fan. But the Dunlop ATs I had on one of my Jeeps were great. On the Mustang, I was very skeptical about tires from Worst Korea, but the Kumhos I had on the Mustang were the best ones I ever had on it. Where you normally get petrol/gas: N/A. I haven’t driven since 2012.
Stick or automatic: I never owned a car with an automatic.
Have you had sex: I’m married.
What’s your magic number: For my wife and I to know. But, since I met my wife, it’s been one.
When was the last time you had sex: It’s happened in the past few weeks.
Was it good: No comment.
Has it ever been good: Yes.
What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done: Nunya
Make an inventory of your sex toys: Nunya
Number of times a day you masturbate: Somewhere around zero.
Does this number vary with the frequency of sex: Yes.
What does your mother know of your sex life: Very little. She does know that I’ve been married for almost a decade, and she’s probably not getting grandkids.
Have you ever thought about food while having sex: I’m sure it’s happened, but I can’t recall a particular instance any time recently.
Have you ever used food for sex: Um?
What’s your favorite food: I really am not sure at this point.
Do you think there should be litigation against the fast food resturants like the tobacco companies: No.
Do you eat at French Restaurants: Yes.
What’s wrong with you: Many things.
What did you eat last: Ritz Crisps
Did you cook it: No
How bad is the heartburn: I’m on meds for that.

News after the flashback/entry.

Joe Biden wants to mandate masks. NPR, aka entertainment for rich white people, reports

No mention of penalty, jail, prison. But that’s the way they want it. Yes, I’ll wear a mask. No, I don’t think the state should throw you in prison for not wearing one. Joe disagrees. Who’s put more people in prison — Joe or his running mate? Is it easier to sniff hair through a mask?