Author: sean

What’s the biggest thing on tap for you in the next two weeks?

Unfortunately, I’m doing medical stuff more than I’d like.  Not as much as the past few weeks, but that’s what I’m doing.  Along with trying to make sure I’m doing at work.

Still having lots of thoughts about what I should be doing going forward.  Unfortunately, I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time since they  figured out what the hell was wrong with me.

Physically, I think I’m feeling better than I have in several years.  So, what can I do get back up-to-speed professionally?

Lots of things to think about.

But it does bring me to a quite appropriate prompt from NoJoMo 2013….

What job would you never take?

Other than another one with the four-letter company….?  Let me ponder….

I joined up to “my friend in the digital age” (who really aren’t my friends, seeing as how they cost me a job in 1998, and I hold a grudge) ‘s I could get HBO to watch Hard Knocks.  As I’ve managed to get my sleep schedule all out of sorts this week, I’ve been playing around with things like HBO Go.

Silicon Valley is not a good choice when you’re trying to get back to sleep.

But it does touch on what I dribbled out the other day.  Yes, I recognize that physically I can’t hang like I used to, but I marvel at people working for something, not just trying to check boxes.

As I told one of my counterparts this morning, trying to make sure the gears mesh seems like it’s such a big part of what I’m doing.  Do I like what I’m doing?  A bit, sure.  Do I like the folks I’m working with?  Yep, though some of their dining choices I question.  Is it where I ought to be?  Who knows?  Is it closer than the cesspool where I was prior to that?  Oh, fuck yes.  There, there was even less novel thought, and more spot-patching a wheezing mess to have it continue on.  If we throw enough money at this pile of shit, it’ll be great.

Ummmmmm.

How about starting with understanding what it’s supposed to do, and why it’s supposed to do it?

Well, that’s not the way it’s always been done, and we’ve been doing this a long time.

So, prompt.  I have no idea what I’d like to write about tomorrow.  Brett Favre is going into the NFL Hall of Fame, and there’s actually football being played.

I like this.

Speaking of Six, I really am starting to miss Empire Little Bar Bistro.  Humph.

Write an entry from the point of view of your pet(s).

Since all my pets have gone on to their rewards…….there’s not much to write on this. I miss the dogs a lot. sigh Eventually, we’ll move to a place where we can have one.

I miss having dogs.  What more can I say about it?

This is still true.  I don’t live in a place where I can have a dog.  Physically, there’s a bit of a question about whether I could do the things that it’s important for a pet owner to be able to do.  (See:  why we’re not having kids….)

But there’s many things that I admire about dogs.  Cats, in addition to making me itchy as hell, hate people.

So, if I had a dog, his/her perspective would be one of whether the master has the motivation to get up, and walk he two blocks to the dog park.

Prompt for tomorrow:  What’s the biggest thing on tap for you in the next two weeks?

;S]ince there were so many thirtieth anniversary celebrations last year about movies, I’m going to slightly modify one from one from last year.

Last year: 8-2. What do you remember from 1982?

Since tomorrow will be the fifth, 8-5. What do you remember from 1985?

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What do I remember? Um, not a ton, really. I was in First Grade. We moved to Kansas. The Royals won the World Series. I wanted to be an Astronaut.

FWIW, the lifted open to “Stacy’s Mom” is better at capturing mid-80s stuff….<iframe src=”

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Today, I got my Tysabri infusion.  I barely slept the night before.  Consequently, I’m exhausted, and don’t feel like writing a ton.

So, what for tomorrow, hmmm……

Going to do a take on this one:

Write an entry from the point of view of your pet(s).

Since all my pets have gone on to their rewards…….there’s not much to write on this. I miss the dogs a lot. sigh Eventually, we’ll move to a place where we can have one.

I miss having dogs.  What more can I say about it?

I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I’m still peeking at other job opportunities; I’d like to GTFO of government.

I’m tired of being constantly concerned about whether there’ll be a job for me in a few months.

During one of my brief sleep periods, I dreamed I was once again in a role where I wasn’t just trying to check boxes, meet deadlines. Yes, I’m adept at that. Yes, I’m adept at making sure lower-case Fs are crossed, lower-case Js are dotted. But I’m not really fulfilled by it.

I want to do something fascinating.

Maybe that’s the wrong feeling to have for someone in my condition, but it is what it is.

I’m wondering if that’s the real source of my disappointment with the last period of failurejob

Who knows?

I did see some promising things back in the media. Not radio; I don’t know if I can do that anymore, but media, nonetheless. I didn’t apply to anything because I had a few reservations about the organization.

More than reporting, though, I’d like to be focused on something other than mere compliance.

shrugs

On to the prompt…

If you had one wish, what would you wish for?

From back then: My eyesight back. I’d be so much better off if I could recover at least some of what I’ve lost.

That answer really hasn’t changed. My other afflictions are troublesome, but the vision limitations are the toughest.

For tomorrow, since there were so many thirtieth anniversary celebrations last year about movies, I’m going to slightly modify one from one from last year.

Last year: 8-2. What do you remember from 1982?

Since tomorrow will be the fifth, 8-5. What do you remember from 1985?

I said for today, I was just going to free-write.

That’s what I’m going to do.  I am exhausted.  My shoulder is still bothering me quite a bit.

Still, a day and a half left of this nonsense, then I get recharged.  I’m going to be just working tomorrow, and Friday morning.

My PCP wants to give me a shot in my shoulder.  I was worried about that with my infusion on Friday.  He did say, though, that I should come next week when e’s “presiding.”  Okay.  If it’ll make the pain stop, I can deal with a big needle.  (He’s faculty, and is supervisering residents….)

I do feel a bit more confident with what I’m doing work-wise.  I was really worried last week, but things turned out okay.

Recycling from 2012, with what I wrote back then….

If you had one wish, what would you wish for?

My eyesight back. I’d be so much better off if I could recover at least some of what I’ve lost.

That answer really hasn’t changed.  My other afflictions are problematic, but the vision limitations are the toughest to deal with, really.

Who do you keep in touch with from high school?

Really only one person from the school where I graduated.  For awhile there, it was really a matter of trying to figure out who was still alive, and, of those, who isn’t in prison.

As I get older, there’s less of that.  But I was always an “outsider” at the school where I graduated.  It was a stepping-stone, and I viewed it as such.

I’m okay with that, though, as the only person I really keep tabs on is the only one who really understood what my situation was like.

I didn’t grow up in the ghetto.  (No, I grew up in various sets of Army quarters; I can remember, as a kid, my dad only being allotted a two bedroom/one bath apartment.) I didn’t have a parent who suffered from mesothelioma.  Just one of those things, I suppose.  Yes, I do have some pertinent memories…like seeing a young Michael Vick roll left, and fire a pass sixty yards flat-footed, and realizing he was going to be the better quarterback than Ronald Curry.

I could rattle on for hours about that, but I really don’t care to.  Are there folks I wonder about?  Sometimes.  How much time do I spend on it?  Not a lot.

Things are kind of going okay today;  I couldn’t say the same yesterday.  I am completely exhausted, though.  Friday can’t get here soon enough.

Because of that, I’m going to slack on coming up with a new prompt for tomorrow.  Maybe it’d be a good day to free-write?

Say it in French. Not that I remember much of my kindergarten lessons, but I do remember that.

Unfortunately, my prompt for today is leaving me empty.  I also feel like I wrote something similar already.

Repeating yourself in the first two weeks doesn’t bode well….

Prompt:  What can you not do today, that you really enjoyed when you were younger?

I think I was thinking about driving when I laid that one out. I wonder sometimes how my life would be different if I still could see well enough to drive.  As I took paratransit in this morning, I was not envying the guy next to me in the stick-shift Camaro.

(For more than just that he was driving a Camaro….)

I am exhausted.  Friday, when I get this month’s Tysabri infusion, can’t get here soon enough.

I also saw my former employer advertising, again, a position they can’t seem to keep filled.  Hmmmm…wonder why.

But a few more days of trying to do what I’m supposed to be doing.  I will make it.  I think.

Something for tomorrow;  who do you keep in touch with from high school?

Tease:  I went to three different high schools.  A couple of friends from Facebook, are also people I knew in elementary school.

July is coming to an end; about damn time.

So, prompts….

1. Do you believe in soul mates? If so, do you believe we each have just one soul mate?

Yes, and yes.  I’ve found mine.  How that happened, I still don’t know. We’re a team.  I don’t know how much of this stuff I could have done without her.

2. What would you do if you could live a day without consequences?

I got a response to this one on where I’m keeping my personal stuff.  I agreed with the sentiments, then,  After a bit more selection, though, even fun excess has consequences for me these days.  One of the networks in promoting a new show where this woman is in what’s supposed to be heaven.  She’s amped that she can drink as much wine as she wants without a hangover the next day.  Yes, but there’d still be puking day-of.  Maybe you don’t feel like a sewer the day after, but you can still abuse yourself to the point where it’s not fun anymore.  What can I do for a day without discomfort of some kind?  That’s tough to answer with my condition;  consequences come a lot faster than they do for healthy folks.

I don’t know what more to say, really.  I really need my next infusion;  I’m really at the end of my rope today.  Pffft.  Friday, when I get my next infusion, can’t come soon enough.

And that brings me to my bit for tomorrow:  What can you not do today, that you really enjoyed when you were younger?

On a completely unrelated note, it’s storming like crazy right now.  This is after some rather large storms this morning.

Your biggest regrets. Enumerate and describe them.


I’m using my wife’s giant purple laptop after the Windows 10 upgrade. My work system already has it, so I’m not completely unfamiliar, but there’s still an adjustment period. I do kind of like Microsoft’s visual accessibility tools. I was very hesitant at first, but this does work much better than bigger font on everything. I’m going to recycle from NoJoMo 2012, because it seems to fit. For my answers back then, here. 1. Do you believe in soul mates? If so, do you believe we each have just one soul mate? 2. What would you do if you could live a day without consequences?

How are you at remembering people?

This one was prompted by seeing minor dealings with folks I’m sure i once met. Thankfully, there are other professional counterparts who’ve not experienced the problems I have.

I don’t see very well anymore, which makes things even more difficult. So, I pay particular attention to written names, and voices.

But it’s certainly not my forte. Even when I was in broadcasting, I was terrible about remembering people. I’d remember callers’ voices, but not their faces when i met them in person.

I could probably write more about this if I reflected on it for awhile. Unfortunately, it was a very rough day for me,

So, what for tomorrow?

Your biggest regrets. Enumerate and describe them.