One more week, and I guess that’s something for which I can be thankful.
Up early, despite being awake late, because I’m dealing with this guy I’d hired to do some repairs at my mom’s house before her guests arrive.
He made one of the repairs after I gave him cash to go buy parts he needed. Another repair he was supposed to finish this morning, but he was supposed to be at her house an hour ago. I spoke to him before seven. He was supposed to call when he got there, but I haven’t heard from him.
More than a little steamed.
And after a glance away to call him, no answer. Really?
Apologies for the distraction, but this is what’s on my mind right now, along with trying to cook a bird this afternoon, amidst watching the Lions’ game.
Minnesota at Detroit
Both of these teams are actually rather entertaining this year. I’m expecting a low-scoring game until the end.
Los Angeles at Dallas
Not sure what, really, to make of the Chargers. Dallas, of course, is all about injuries and suspensions.
I think with what’s been happening with some of the Cowboys’ issues, you do really start to see how some of the now-deceased owners kept things together. Jerry Jones isn’t my favorite person, certainly, but what he did to a rather moribund franchise after buying it is rather incredible.
The Rooneys and the Maras, along with their redheaded spokeschimp, have really changed it into something that’s a bad product in places.
I can think of few things worse than watching a Colts-Niners game. Even Hugh Culvehouse and Bill Bidwell couldn’t have come up with worse products.
New Jersey(A) at Washington
Nudge to Gregg Easterbrook on the snark about the Giants. With fans like Carl, there is a bit of a soft spot. What they’ve done the past few years, since they fired Tom Coughlin, is pretty rotten football. At least the defense is somewhat interesting with Steve Spagnuolo’s return.
So, in-and-out on the Lions’ game, may catch most of the Cowboys’ game, and a night game that will be completely meaningless if the Giants beat the Redskins.
But at least there’s an AFC team playing.
Tomorrow, I’ll wrap up what happened while I’m munching on leftovers, maybe I’ll find some writing leftovers to help carry this through the final week.
Right now, I’m listening to a Reason podcast on net neutrality. I do have to recommend yesterday’s Fifth Column dispatch.
Author: sean
November 22nd is an important year for many in the previous generation. When I was very young, around the 25th anniversary, I took keen interest in it. Later, there was the Oliver Stone movie.
As I’ve aged, however, I’ve become more convinced that the worst thing to come out of that was LBJ’s presidency.
Kennedy may well have been re-elected. Maybe not. He did get us in to Vietnam, which fans seem to gloss over.
How do you feel about people’s need to post every detail of their relationships on social media? Are you guilty?
I tend to tune it out, for the most part. In my vacuum right now, I really don’t have access to social media. When I worked there, previously, I did check in on Facebook to see what was going on with my dad’s family after my uncle had suffered a severe, ultimately fatal, stroke.
After my abrupt departure from my last situation, I did do more on Twitter and Facebook. Not so much with my health issues, but with current events.
I do talk about my wife sometimes, occasionally quoting her, often without attribution, but it’s normally not about anything serious.
People might get some amusement about the conversations we have. I do enjoy being alone with my wife. Other things, both personal, and mundane, aren’t really anybody else’s business.
I am committed to my wife. Even if that changed, I would never air our laundry. If someone cares, ask. If you’re someone who might want, or need to know, I’ll share.
I don’t know what I’m going to write about tomorrow, Thanksgiving. At least there is some AFC Football this year. The Los Angeles Chargers playing in Dallas seems appropriate, though with the Jerrydome, there wouldn’t be snow falling. *checks forecast for Dallas* Hmph. Even if God was watching through the roof in Texas Stadium, tomorrow looks like it’ll be a nice day, there. No Leon Lett moments, anymore. (Interesting seeing Eagles’ Head Coach Doug Peterson, there….)
What inspires you to keep writing?
Right now? That I’m waiting for these repairmen to return, finish the job I hired them for.
More generally? It keeps me somewhat level. I can sit back, close my eyes, and pound something out.
For Novembers, it allows me to reflect some on where I am, correct mistakes I’ve made, and find some peace in time for the holidays.
The stretch from September of last year until July of this year is a complete blur. (Well, that’s the case of many, many things, on account of my failing vision, but….)
I think I still can do some quality work, although I have to approach things differently. Things really scream by. I hope that I haven’t disappointed too many people.
My desire for revenge is kind of gone. Things do occasionally pop up that I have to look into, dig back through my archives, and inquire whether there’s something that might bite me.
So much of what’s coming out in the news is about behavior I just can’t comprehend. Have I done things I regret? Absolutely. Is any nearly as bad as what (long string of celebrities) did?
Not by a longshot.
I still haven’t had the opportunity to delve into stuff from 2012 thoroughly. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Friday Who knows? For tomorrow: How do you feel about people’s need to post every detail of their relationships on social media? Are you guilty?
I was reminded to write this after participating in discussions with people at the office.
Oh yea! I need to write aobut that1
*checks football games*
Well, the Vikings-Lions game will probably be good, at least.
I am going to cook a turkey on the grill. Going for the whiskey sour sorta glaze.
It also gives me an opportunity to use the flavor injector I bought years ago.
Butter
Sour Mix
Bourbon
Sugar
Indirect heat, with the grill temperature at about 350, and use the grill just like an oven.
Hickory to smoke.
Yeah, that’s what I’d plunked out when i had a minute. I was going to elaborate more after I took a nap, but recruiters have been blowing up my phone really since I got out of the office.
I guess it’s nice to feel wanted, but neither gives me a big charge, honestly.
I have no idea what I might want to write about tomorrow. So, to my stash of prompts, most courtesy my wife……
What inspires you to keep writing?
Resampling more, but here goes.
NoJoMo Day 5 – 11/5/2012
Double duty again today, because I would like to say a little about each.
1. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Both? Do you wish you could have more of the other characteristic?
I’m terribly introverted. Have been since about puberty. Some of it is related to how physically unattractive I view myself as (fat kid syndrome). Some of it has to do with a low overall opinion of many others.
At the same time, very few people understand what makes me tick. Fewer, still, agree with me. Whether that makes me disagreeable is up to you. If you don’t wish to keep my company, whatever. The reverse is also true.
I don’t feel obligations to some people that I probably should. Especially those who don’t even attempt to understand what it is I’m going through. No, I can’t stand in one place for five minutes without wobbling. Yes, I used to be able to march in a straight line; I can’t anymore.
There’s nothing that’s going to fix me. There’s not even really anything that’ll make life halfway normal. How the hell can you explain to someone who’s never experienced it what it’s like to have to remember to breathe? How do you explain to someone that there’s no glasses that’ll make your eyes work better?
This is just not stuff most people can comprehend. But it’s reality for me.
2. If your younger self could time travel and meet the you of today, what would they think of you? What would you tell your younger self?
See the answer to question number one, but….
You’re a jerk. A complete assholekneebiter. Use that to get them to figure out what the hell is wrong with you when you’re 22 instead of 30.
Maybe you’re being self-destructive right now; don’t worry so much about it. Have a little fun, asshole. You’re too old for your age. Enjoy being what you are; you’ve only got one chance at it.</p
Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Both? Do you wish you could have more of the other characteristic?
Still very introverted. Who wants to speak to an ugly guy with a cane, anyway?
I do stand up for myself more than I would have when I was younger, though. In a work situation, I can concentrate more on quality. If something is being done incorrectly, I’m going to say something about it.
If your younger self could time travel and meet the you of today, what would they think of you? What would you tell your younger self?
I don’t know. I probably would tell myself to rent from the bankbuy a house I couldn’t afford at the peak of the first housing bubble. I certainly wouldn’t have paid more in Federal Income Tax in 2009 than I grossed in 2003. Pay close attention to what I said, there. No, I’m not talking about “payroll taxes.” Income Tax.
Tomorrow, I’ll detail my Thanksgiving plans. On Friday, I’ll detail how things went.
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Today’s key? Traceability. If you call me on something, and I make an assertion, rest assured I will back it up.
Recycling more……
NoJoMo Day 4 – 11/4/2012
Since I don’t have a tome for either, I’ll try to address both writing prompts. Instead of an extra hour of sleep, I’ll attempt an extra few minutes of writing.
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
At this point, normalcy. It’s very absent for anyone with somewhat fragile health. I have my soulmate. I had professional potential (though I have my doubts about it since my vision started going). The routines in life, however, are gone — possibly forever. I can’t know on a day-to-day basis how I’m going to feel, whether I’ll be up to whatever I have planned.
That’s put a strain on many other relationships I had. My wife is understanding; she sees what’s going on. Others don’t. But I don’t look sick! Yeah, and you don’t look stupid; looks can be deceiving.
I don’t feel comfortable around other family members for other reasons, too. There’s been a lot of bereavement in the past few years. Nothing, other than this little apartment with my wife, feels like “home.” When we stayed with my mom last year during Irene, it just felt strange. Visiting my grandfather and uncle after my dad died felt strange.
Thanksgiving with her parents will be a bit more comfortable (I am starting to feel a bit more at home at her parents’ place…..it has taken six years, but….), but I’ll be worried about what my mom is doing.
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs.
Uhhh…..<b>I have MS</b>. I have lots of “strange” things. Some of them aren’t terribly noticable if you’re not paying attention. My left foot doesn’t point straight ahead. My gait is weird. I can’t run at all. My eyes do weird dances. Restless Leg Syndrome? Uh, no. But I do have similar twitches.
I also have “angry hands.” I do do this thing where I interlace my fingers when I’m frustrated with something.<hr>
*yawn*
Yeah, time to post up, and try to sleep. Aint’s aren’t until Monday night. But watching Eli Manning beat the Falcons will suffice.
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
Last time, I said, “normalcy.” If I’d known then what I know now, I don’t know that I would have wished for something different, really. I was completely consumed with my health, not taking into account that on some of the important parts of life, I did have normalcy.
Now, though, I’m aiming to get back to where I was then, financially. I’m still earning less money than I did then. I’m not at all secure, financially. At the same time, what I’m ready for is something new and satisfying. What I’m doing now is somewhat related to one of my stops in the intervening years. But it still is a fucking cesspool Though my main problem before is gone, his mentality pervades.
It takes time to win hearts and minds; will I be able to do it? Do I have the stamina?
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs
Since the last time, I’ve started carrying a cane. I really have problems going down stairs, as my balance is wonky, and I can’t feel my feet. I also need to tilt my head to the right in order to be able to walk in a straight line. The angry hands have subsided a lot. A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I often have my hands above my head to stretch my diaphragm.
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16
What I wrote in 2012:
NoJoMo Day 1 – 11/1/2012
—————————————————————————
Writing Prompt: What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?
Have spent a lot of time considering what I should choose for this; I don’t focus much on past accomplishments. Not terribly long ago, I was complaining about the Captain Philip Francis Queeg school of management. Queeg, of course, spent his entire career trying to recreate his few moments of adequacy. I try hard to avoid that.
My focus, professionally, is creating a workable solution at a low cost. Sometimes finding that solution requires setting aside what you’ve done in the past, and re-examining everything.
Getting married has definitely affected my evaluation criteria. Things I would have taken pride in as a single dude really aren’t important anymore. Woohoo! I drank an entire six pack in one sitting! Big fucking deal to most frat boys. My wife, however, would be disgusted by that behavior.
So, since I can’t isolate a single thing, I’ll just throw some things out of which I’m proud:
1. That I married someone who might possibly be my perfect partner.
2. That I’ve yet to miss a dose of any of my MS meds, now more than two years’ into taking them.
3. That I am dedicated to work, despite more than ample reason not to be.
4. My service to others. Some of it is kind of thankless, but…. The vast majority of it’s been without compensation. Is it satisfying when something I put together is still functional years after its expected demise? You bet. As far as I know, there’s systems in use at former jobs. My old company, whose name I will not mention, is still selling things I designed. Something I put together now almost seven years ago is still chugging along. And so on.
4. That I surpassed the 2,000 entry mark, and didn’t even notice it.
5. That I’ve been responsible elsewhere in my life last few years. I was reckless when I was younger. I admit that now. Yes, being sick has sapped my reckless abandon on some things, but I’d started down that path before I knew I was sick.
6. Forgiveness. I’ve gotten better about it. Those who’ve harmed me may not be as dear as they once were, but I’m still civil. When I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have been.
So, is there a lot to point to, there? Yes. Is there a “crowning achievement?” No. (Though number one comes awfully damn close…..I still haven’t figured out how I pulled that one off while still being myself….) I’m okay with that.
I did delete the comments. Now again….
What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?
I could go a lot of different ways on this one, but I don’t know if there’s really anything that’s that remarkable.
As I said earlier this month during a rant about the previous generation, yes, you’re unique, but you’re not that remarkable/special.
The same is true of me.
The Kids In The Hall used to have a character who’d be dropped in to various sketches. The interaction was inevitably along the lines of,
“Who are you?”
“Just a guy.”
I am important to some people who love me.
To everybody else, though, I’m just some guy.
I can’t tell you how foreign this seems to be.
People are fungible.
This past weekend, I was watching on eof hte NFL pregame shows. Amy Trask, the former president of the Oakland Raiders, was talking about a discussion Al Davis had with Bill Walsh about holding on to players after they’d outlived their usefulness.
mr. Davis was very loyal to his guys. Walsh notsomuch, unless you’re Steve Young.
Is either way better? I don’t know. Both had three Super Bowl rings.
Who is remembered more fondly?
I don’t know, and I really don’t care to think about it.. Each is admirable in his own way.
I guess that I split the difference, really, though.
Yes, you’re loyal, but if someone can’t do what you need them to do anymore, be honest about it and move on.
(and here’s where my Gen X side comes out, and Nada Surf’s “Popular” floats through my scarred brain….)
So, back to the prompt……what have I accomplished?
There’s not just one thing. I think I’m a good husband. I think my loyalties are in the right place. I’m not terribly embarrassed by anything I’ve done; maybe that’s why I don’t focus on the things that have gone well.
So, not a lot of changes in five years, really. I’m not good at tooting my own horn.
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Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
Day 7 – 11/7/2012
Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
Yes. Because I really don’t need them after I’m dead; what do I care?
Whether there’d be much to salvage from my diseased body is a different story, altogether.
So, more 2012 recycling….
You see what I wrote above, so again….
Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
I don’t know? I don’t have a driver’s license anymore, so I don’t think I had to answer the question about the organ donor bit.
Would anyone want my bone marrow with the various maladies I’ve developed, the abuse to which I’ve subjected my body? I don’t know.
It’s incredible how heavy these questions seemed back then. Today, who really cares? By and large, anything that’s in my body can be used by whoever needs it.
I have told my wife that I would like whatever’s left of me to be fired into the sun. If they haven’t figured out the process when it happens, cremation works.
I hope that I’ll find motivation to do a few more in-advance prompts tonight/tomorrow. I’ll probably spill my Thanksgiving plans Monday, then write about how it went on Friday.
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15
Today was supposed to be free writing. I did do a bit, but really hadn’t finished.
When I started preparting to write this year, I started through my archives, looking for writing ideas.
I think I was looking for NoJoMo 2012, which was the next-to-last one I did on The Open Diary.
Yes, there was a 2013 there, too, but I think I’ve sampled from that one before.
I don’t know. I should have written my prompts ahead of time. Things were crazy in October, though, nad I’m just so spent by the end of the week, that I can’t bring myself to dedicate
So, stuff I’m recycling from 2012.
What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs
Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
There will be more, but it’s been a very long day, and I’m having trouble focusing.
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14
Another day where I was too busy to even glance at this.
Listening to Mouthy Broadcast probably isn’t terribly helpful to writing…..
No, my Fitbit band doesn’t stink, but then, I have to lock it up when I’m at work.
Favorite way to annoy/tease your significant other?
I’m guessing that the aim for this one is my propensity for earworming. If I only had a brain.
I do hit on things from time to time.
And after a ten minute break to watch Beavis and Butthead videos on YouTube, it’s back to Mouthy Broadcast and writing.
Tomorrow is free-write. Halfway point right now, so some analysis of this session. Heh heh mmm heh analysis.
I’m being tasked to cook turkey this year. Hmmmm….
I need to ask my wife to find my flavor injector. Huh huh huh injector.
I do think that I’m slowly circling back into the swing where I am. Let’s see how long it lasts.
Would I rather be somewhere else? You bet. Am I trying to do good, right, work? Yep.
It’s doubly-frustrating in that there’s lots of stuff at home that I’m excited to play with, but I can’t because I’m not there during the week.
So it goes…..