Category: Scarred Brain murmurings

US lost to Turkey who were already going home last night. 3-2 on a goal with basically no time left. Pfft.

There was much noise outside my room around the end of the game, though I’m questioning whether they were big soccer fans. (Join the club.)

After speaking highly of the OCR yesterday, I had this in my list for today:

“Sahith Theegala is around a penny.”

Huh? I honestly have no idea what that was getting out. Penny for your thoughts? Spend a penny?

Of course, the penny finally met its death this. year, where it was costing more to make than it was worth. And this is a problem for government?

“Sam Stevens is three cents.”

Good for you, Sam?

Write down clear intentions for providing yourself with those needs.

Heh. Yeah, that one worked, and that train has already left the station. My last couple of jobs were about as close as I can imagine to being perfect. IT is a 24/7 operation. I really feel odd operating in a situation where there’s a “regular” schedule. This is worse when you[re doing anything with the Federal Government, where there’s really a long vacation really form the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until the Super Bowl in February.

There’s people getting things done during those downtimes for everybody else.

Yes, it leads to some impatience in other aspects of life. No, I don’t want to wait until the morning. I have to wait until Tuesday because the person responsible is already off on vacation?

Get sh*t done. Regardless of the location on the calendar.

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But TheFP had bit in TGIF the morning about the sort of fine people who are taking over in NYC, now. A Congressman who lost lost to one of the DSA candidates who won Tuesday. Rep. Goldman went into a coffee shop so his daughter needed to use the bathroom, bought something, and saw the store owner call him out on Instagram.

Listen, I would probably never vote for Goldman, but a coffee shop is a public accommodation. You can’t reject customers based on their religion.

Now, I understand that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed by Zionist racist occupier-run government.

I kinda of think that this sort of thing is an outgrowth of the past fifteen-or-so years’ attitudes on what constitutes “justice.” Laws, especially those passed by the historical oproessors, don’t matter. In fact, they should be ignored.

Nope. Not going to do that, sorry. And I’m never going to support you if you back the politicians who are involved with it.

I can’t find it, but I resolved after Zorhan was elected, I said that I wouldn’t;’t visit NYC while he was mayor. I was kind of waffling on that a bit, but the Goldman story, and the DSA wins this week have returned me to the inclination. If I have to go to NYC, I’m not leaving Penn Station. And when I’m in NYP, under the protection provided by Amtrak security, I’ll not buy anything from local vendors; Starbucks for me.

Alright. I’ve got to go. This fun is finished tomorrow.

I think I’d been plunking around some this morning, but didn’t get around to posting. I’m wiped out. This is the sort of thing that happens when I go too hard.

But I’ve gotten some of the things I wanted to do done. It’s unspeakably hot here. The USA is moving on to the next round, but are currently tied with Turkey.

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What does my body need more of right now (e.g., sleep, movement, rest, hydration)?

Another US win? Maybe some rest will help my sore legs. Significant time on my feet with questionable footwear hasn’t been kind to me.

How can I carry it into what’s next?

Um, I’m confused by this one. Was this intended for E-O-Y reflections? Were discussions about the technological advancements at lunch today. People forget just how much things sucked not too terribly long ago.

Well, if it’s deleted, it goes away, right?

I have such long notes on Buck Sexton’s latest book. He’s uses AI as the sort of panic that politicians and activists use to impel compliance because people are scared.

Yes, and…

Then in another section he talks about some of the amazing technologies that are coming around because of technological progress. But that leads to Neuralink, which is really neat for disabled people (oh, hi!).

But that technology could be used to foment fear based on implanted panic.

You know, I think that my inability to experience dread really screws up so many media and political targets.

Bad things happen. There are bad people in the world. There really isn’t anything I can do to fix that, and there’s not a thing a government can do to fix that. Well, they can kill people, but….

The book also sparked some memories of bad things from the 90s that those seem to be forgotten; I seem to remember an album title — Underrugswept?

I could live pretty comfortably here in Biloxi today. I don’t know I could have said that even ten years ago.

But I don’t want to get too much into the book review; that’s for the trip home.

I guess I hadn’t put as many of the ones I’d scanned into WP as I thought. Need to find where I have them in my Notes scrap.

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What do I want my voice to stand for?

Who knows? There’s not that many people I’m going to convince. I’m really fucking weird. It’s kinda interesting to see close people learn this. We’ve been together for more than twenty years, hon.

How am I using it right now, and where do I want it to go?

Maybe my questions make people take a moment before doing and saying something else.

Again, with some of what was in Buck’s book, when you’re sure that you and your crowd are right about everything, anyone who doesn’t agree completely is “on the other side.” No, I’m on my own side. I think you’re wrong for reasons that are things you’ve probably never thought of.

And short one. Time to do a few things.

Very aware that revisiting stuff with which you’re not entirely-familiar yields mixed reactions.
I’ve written a lot about the revelation that re-listening to Exile In Guyville was.

Latest thing?

Totes-didn’t-used-to-do-evil video site has been giving me lots of Nirvana lately.
Hmm. I’ll go re-listen to Bleach, something I probably haven’t done since about 1996.

It’s kind of what I remember, and expected.

Was it good? Again, hmm. (And now Marin Mull is slipping through my scarred brain…)

It fits with the time. Not nearly as good as Nevermind, but that’s kind of to be expected.

It’s uncomfortably hot here. Get drinks delivered. Let’s look for liquor delivery. Okay. There is one. And they’ve got World Cup specials. Segram’s 7. Ooh! I’ll try to make a 7&7! The liquor was the easy part; nobody had 7-Up. Like nobody. I seem to remember there being something about that on Numlock not long ago, but I’m too out of it to find the story.

Oh well. Try it with club soda. Unimpressed.

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So, scanned prompts.

“What does it mean to be a work in progress?”

The subtitle of this shitty blog should probably provide some insight. Nothing is ever truly finished, and everything gets deleted.

How much you can learn from past errors is questionable, but few things ever remain exactly as they were.

Circling back to Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit sounded completely different after mixing. What Kurt Cobain described as a peppy song turned darker.

And, yes, I was, and still am, entertained.

“How can I be gentler with myself in the process?”

I’m actually wondering if this scanned correctly. But it’s unimportant. Wherever I could have been my greatest self is in a fading rear-view. I’m broken. I’m almost certain that even if in the unlikely event that my various MS maladies are “cured,” I’m still on the downslope of life. There’s no memorable achievements ahead. So, fight entropy, and hope some people who care about me outlive me, and remember me fondly.

Wonder if the AI review would say that that’s raw, honest.

I’m working through Buck Sexton’s book. It was one of the ones on my to-read list while I was in massive money-saving mode. It’s probably will have enough there for a good OWT entry. Finally. Something I can do on the way back. I will say that I do not like the new roomette cars. It is a pain to put on shoes every time nature calls.

So, prompts…

What’s the most important lesson I’ve learned about myself this year?

I can just stop. And sometimes holding my tongue really isn’t the best thing.

How am I already shaping that story today?

As I said, working on that book review. Some of the things I was consuming podcast-wise just weren’t adding anything to my life, really. Yes, I’m still listening to lots of things, but rolling in books while writing about them, along with No Agenda seems to suffice.

I seem to remember a 90s country song about that. But I’m seeing it out the window, down the hill to the creek from the train track.

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What kind of legacy do I want to leave, even in small ways?

I really don’t know. As I wrote in a previous entry, I’d really like to be remembered as someone who tried to “do the right thing” even when nobody was looking. Or would find out.

There’s been a lot of discussion about that general concept last couple of days in media I consume. Not only do people not have a good inner sense of what’s right and wrong, they’re willing to do what they think might be wrong, and expect that others will act similarly.

I need to add to this with the relevant stories from TheFP.

I honestly feel bad about having such a negative view of people with whom I have political disagreements. Okay, yeah, that means pretty much everybody, but I really do think it’s something that’s increased.

As is often the case, I fall back to Lawrence from Office Space when asked about what he’d do if someone asked him if he had “a case of the Mondays.”

No. No, man, no. I think you’d probably get your ass kicked.

I sill try to live like I assume the best of others; maybe it’s reflexive. But at the same time, the actual research numbers coming out don’t reflect at all positively on others’ beliefs if not behavior.

Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after you.

Um.

No, it’s not okay.

How am I already shaping that story today?

I’m not? I’m traveling. There really isn’t a lot of opportunity when you’re dealing with spotty Intertubes.

Keep getting sidetracked trying to put together a longer OWT post. Kinda blame YouTube’s suggestions, but I’m sure if I narrowed down what I wanted to write about, it’d be easier.

So, what am I focusing on?

• Situation with Iran. Unsurprisingly, the M5M have declared that OrangeManBad has failed backwards to Kerry/Obama’s blessed JCPOA. But nobody’s actually agreed to the new arrangement. Whether that happens for Friday’s ceremony with JDVP remains to be seen. But the facts on the ground remain. 1. Ali Khamenei is dead, along with many of his associates. 2. The IRGC members are fighting amongst themselves, and aren’t necessarily behind whatever agreement is supposed to be signed Friday. 3. UAE has exited OPEC, and has built a pipeline to send oil around the Strait of Hormuz. (The Saudis aren’t happy about these….). 4. The Saudis are sending oil to the Red Sea so they don’t have to deal with whatever Iran is going to try to impose. Similarly, the Iraqis who are generally-friendly towards the IRGC are sending their oil towards the Mediterranean and Black Seas. 5. The gravy train to the Houthis in Yemen is dry. The Saudis can take care of them again pretty quickly. 6. The Israelis and Syrians are taking care of Hezbollah; part of the sticking point on agreement is that the IRGC are saying that Israel has to stop fighting Hezbollah. OrangeManBad is telling is “master” Bibi to stop, and Bibi isn’t listening. (How’s that make OrangeManBad the puppet, exactly? Or the other way around? I don’t watch enough MS NOW or TYT to understand it, obviously.). 7. The IRGC killed somewhere north of 40,000 Iranians in January before the US and Israel struck in February. 8. FIFA, the classiest sporting agency in the world, tried to ban the Lion&Sun flag. Yeah, about that. There’s a ton, but I am following probably more-closely than I should. Recommend Goldie and Tousi on YouTube.
• Still following the DC Water situation. I guess the Potomac Collector is about to fail catastrophically upstream in MoCo, MDDR. DC Water has known about this problem since 2018, and are scrambling to fix it (before they dump millions of gallons of shit into the Potomac again). The guy who was in charge was finally fired, but he’s not leaving until they find a replacement to install. Um. Okay. That’ll be how long?
• The elections in DC and Maryland. Being in the DC Media market, there’s lots of ads. Given that MDDR has become as “blue” as many parts of New England, the ads tend to be about who’s more opposed to MAGA, more for abortion, etc. There was one of the PGC candidates, too, who mentioned that he wasn’t taking AIPAC or Oracle money.
• Medical stuff. Geez this is frustrating. I’d thought I was having an exacerbation coming down from Keysimpta, but that seems to have calmed down. My neurologist wasn’t too concerned, and I’ll have a Telehealth visit with her in a few weeks. But I’m feeling a lot better than I was last week. Also back into physical therapy; trying to learn to stand and walk is tough with numb limbs.
• Excited to be attending this tomorrow. I’ll be scribbling notes, but who knows how much I’ll end up putting down. If I have thoughts, I’ll write about them when I have a chance. (And my vote goes to George Wythe who’s not nearly as well-known as his namesake law School’s product, Mr. 8647.)

But the write-up might be something good to tackle while I’m away. We’ll see how it goes.

During my forced poverty, I’d created a list of books I wanted to read, well listen to on account of my vision, and I’ve been able to start getting through the list.

Sadly, one of the ones near the top of the list doesn’t show an audiobook on Apple (my preference), or on Space Cowboy Jeff’s station. But I’ve been trying to get through a couple of the others. By mistake, I bought a book by this British Anti-Capitalist Feminist author. I only got about a third of the way through before I moved onto Katie Herzog’s book.

Not sure what I think about it, honestly. I just have never had the constitution to do that much. Should I be envious? No, but in a way I am? I just can’t let myself get that out-of-control, and never have been able to.

My wife and I have been together for twenty years. I think she’s seen me drunk twice, maybe? I can, and do, set up limits on myself. “Dry January?” Been there, done that, wonder what benefit I got from it.

But I’m sure I’ll keep whittling through the list over the next few weeks. Still being cautious with spending, though there isn’t the urgent reason for it. But, much like the abstaining from alcohol, I guess I get accustomed to a routine.

Speaking. of that, I’m going to do a mini writing streak later this month. The prompt cards my wife had gotten me as a gift willl get use. I’m sure they’ll get more in November.

I do have to give the totes-didn’t-used-to-do-evil company credit for its OCR capabilities in their app.

It’s neat.

Things.
Get.
Better.

And not because of government.

Following last week’s revelations about the Massie loss, I’ve found myself in an odd situation. My determination, then, was that I’m not going to ever vote for anyone who supported the release of the “Epstein Files.” The one Louisiana Republican who actually was the sole vote against, on further research, seems more than a little off his rocker. My rep, Don “Replacement Moran” Beyer Volvo wasn’t there to vote. Didn’t take long for me to find yet another reason to vote against him. Whatever.

But Bridget Phetsey had a Dumpster Fire dispatch that largely mirrored my take on the reactions.

I’m sorry. I don’t believe in your space laser conspiracies. And I think a lot less of you because you’ve signed on to them. Bridget is pretty consistent with her 1990s feminist views on many subjects.

But that makes me a Christian Nationalist Rapist, right?

Elon Musk famously tweeted this cartoon. Do I necessarily agree with Elon? Nope. I’m farther right than he is on the X-Axis, but socially I’m pretty far to “the left,” even if some of those views have moderated as I’ve reconsidered faith teachings. When I was in college, I would have agreed with pretty much wide-open contraception/abortion, and I was in favor of capitol punishment.

While I now don’t want to see either eliminated, I’m not a fan of either.

I think I have a start of a long OWT on all of this, if I can find the energy to distill it.

Let’s see how I feel after some coffee.

So, The Internets have been back on in Iran for a couple of days now after the Islamic Dictatorship had shut off access for 80-some days.

There were things coming out of Iran with information about the tens of thousands of people the IRGC had executed in the wake of the pro-Shah protests, 1/8-9.

The Corporate Press didn’t report this back then because they couldn’t verify the stories coming out, even if there were numerous things on Twi^H^H^HX describing what was going on. Following the executions, the IRGC shut off access to the entire country.

The only information coming out was from people on the ground who were willing to risk punishment for using a Starlink terminal.

Elon Musk even gave free service to people who had terminals.

Which the IRGC almost immediately tried to block.

There really wasn’t a way to intependantly-verify the information coming out, meaning for the J-School products, it didn’t happen. Anything coming out with sources that can’t be verified are “Distortions At Fourth Hand.” (I do give him credit for not just deleting is writing denying what happened in Cambodia. If it was modern corporate press, you’d see the story just silently vanish…)

But, back on Iran, the IRGC actually admitted to having executed protestors; that was widely-reported, as it was from an official IRGC source. Through the intervening time, until probably about ten days ago, the number had been 30,000+, which I’ve now heard it probably 40,000+.

Some pictures of the shootings were posted, as well as dead people scattered across sidewalks.

But then it went dark. No internet, and the only things that were getting out were from people who smuggled phones and memory cards across the borders.

In February, the US and Israel started striking Iran, killing the Ayatollah, and many other senior leaders. And seemingly tanking the global economy, etc..

This War Of Choice wasn’t needed. (Sorry, Nick, but you were the first thing that came up in search results for that phrase. But it was also used by many Democrats…). It was reckless. It was actually to distract from the Epstein Files.

I do give the corporate press a bit of credit for eschewing some of the more salacious details that have been floating around on various social media platforms. At the same time, many of those corporate outlets were more than willing to report on some of the more outrageous bits. MeToo, GamerGate, PizzaGate, even stuff reworked from the McMartin Pre-School trial.

But the Internet came back on Thursday, and information started flowing out again.

https://twitter.com/i/trending/2060549410069905892?s=20

I hoped that on Thursday or Friday, there’d be some reporting. *crickets*

Check today, and still barely anything.

I’m sure someone on IG would respond that she hadn’t heard anything about it, and needed to do more research. But it isn’t nearly as evil as $fill_in_this_week’s_Trump_outgrage.