Outsider Saturday

Background music for where my mood is this morning.

It’s incredible what’s been running through my head lately. I gave my word that I’d watch/listen to this this morning.

I don’t fit in, neatly there, either.

I’ve moved on to listening to the discussion on The Fifth Column about cash payments to people who formed babby.

I don’t fit in there, either, having never formed babby.

No focus, so stepping away again.

Saturday Selfishness

Just finished to this.

It’s an interesting discussion, and goes to something that one of the shows I’ve been listening to is worried about…where companies providing credit are concerned more with lending standards based on odd factors.

Whatever.

Lenders should be able to do whatever they want to do. Government shouldn’t get involved with it at all.

Governments are not stakeholders. They might, now, be shareholders, due to the reckless monetary fiddling that’s been going on.

But when you try to do things you think are valuable to others at the point of a gun, you are an immoral person.

There was one guy I worked with who constantly would do unethical things in business, and justifying them by saying they’re not immoral.

I’m still completely befuddled as to how you could make such a justification. You have to live with what you did, and whatever mental anguish comes from those actions.

Tying it back to the discussion of the debate — regardless of whether you make a big profit, or lose money, you have to think about what harm your actions might have caused someone else.

I’m okay with most of the things I’ve done. I am confident that if someone examined how I’ve lived, most people would not take major issue with my choices. I do think that I’ll be rewarded for that, but I may never see it. I think that the people I love, and the people who care to ask me about it, share my view.

I’ve never set out to harm anyone.

Primum non nocere. If you don’t agree, that’s fine. You can leave. If I’m not wanted, I’ll do the same. *shrug*


I made it through the long week, and find myself ahead for all of my medical stuff towards the end of next week, as well as Monday of the following week.

Focus is fleeting now, so I’m going to stop.

Behind on Sunday

That’s not a good place to start the week, but that’s where I am.

My sense of dread for last week was sort of founded, but I did get through it.

The exercise goal was tough for a single day, mainly just because i forgot to do it in amidst the busy work obligations.

I did end up writing leet skriptz to do some things that are happening this week. We’ll see how well things work starting tomorrow.

So. What’s on tap for this week?

Well, I have a telehealth appointment early Monday morning, and a dental cleaning Wednesday after work.

Otherwise, it’s just a normal March week.

March often seems to me like the longest month. I can remember absolutely hating it when I was in school.

Thirty-one days. No holidays. Just an endless drone of school.

Since I’ve been older, it’s been better.

Obviously, there’s jubilation about St. Patrick’s Day. (Which I still maintain that if you’re going to go out, you should go to a Mexican joint…then go to the Irish joint on Cinco de Mayo….) Lent, too, which I really didn’t appreciate when I was younger. More below in the TOTW § below.

There is something about being in a routine to get your head straight. Maybe there’s no direct benefit, but these ritualized things that prepare you for whatever you’re doing.

I’m having flashbacks to Two-A-Days playing high school football.

Twice-daily practices in the hottest part of summer are awful.

You’re sore. You’re more exhausted than you’ve ever been.

But there’s something good that comes from all of it.

When you’re playing football, you’re in shape, and you know the playbook.

When you’re preparing for Easter, you’re setting your heart and mind for the teachings, and the things that faith informs.

But, with that, there’s things that I don’t know, and will never know.

And I can’t get to the place where I’ll ever get behind the concept that ritualistic preparation is the answer for salvation.

Or health. Look at the COVID prescriptions. You’ve got the prescriptions from The Elect who then, themselves, catch the virus.

Things change. If I was coaching football, I wouldn’t have folks running Oklahoma Drills, but…

On to the TOTW, because my focus is kind of off.


Theme of the week thing…

Theme of the Week 87 – What are some things you do simply because that is the path that is set out for you? Are those things really adding value to your life?

I wrote during NoJoMo about How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World.

I seem to remember him talking about mundane things you do every day that don’t necessarily bring you happiness, but you do them anyway.

One of the things he wrote about was brushing your teeth. It doesn’t really bring you joy or distress, but it’s something you need to do to be somewhat healthy.

Is that really a path set out for you? I don’t know.

I know that while I was younger, there were things I did just because my parents thought they were the right things for me to do.

Some of them worked. Others didn’t.

Some of them brought me joy, others were just kind of going through the routine for the sake of going through the routine.

The problem I find myself in now, however, is that few things I do actually bring me any joy these days.

And that’s part of the reason I’m seeing a psychologist.

Will I ever enjoy the “value” doing these things might bring to my life?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that my failure to do them would result in more displeasure than whatever joy I might find from just choosing not to do them.

Okay. I did that. Now what?

Oddly, part of the podcast I’m listening to right now is talking about the Ark of the Covalent.

There’s just things that you do. Maybe there’s no benefits that are tangible right now.

Maybe it’s just a part of human nature.

Any Given Sunday

I might write, just because there’s things that skip across my brain.

There’s been things floating around about student loan forgiveness.

First story from DDG News tab….

Elizabeth Warren is big on taxing wealth.

I would say do the student loan forgiveness in full for people who couldn’t finish their store-bought degrees.

For people who graduated, and I know Liz is big on wealth taxes, take the amount forgiven from the universities’ endowments.

There’s a lot of very wealthy people in higher ed who’ve given money to their alma maters. Take that. It’s money they’ve willingly given. The current student loan burden is there largely due to universities offering degrees that will never allow the students to earn enough to repay the price of those degrees. Take the money from them.

That is wealth that you can tax, Senator.

I will say that I have no idea what the tax implications will be for those whose loans are forgiven.

That is taxable income.

Circling Saturday

Busy week, but productive.

Obviously, the big news in my former world is the death of Rush Limbaugh.

As I aged, and was exposed to more information, his offerings became less pallatablle.

It happens.

I worked for one of his affiliates for nearly a decade. I’m still on good terms with the people I worked with there.

I’m pretty sure that it was while I was working there that I was fully-taught that on the air, you say “never a negative thought.”

It makes a difference to people who are listening. It’s something that’s been known for a long time.

When Daylight Savings Time begins or ends, you remind the listeners, “Remember to change your clocks before you go to bed.

Saying “don’t forget” is a negative thought.

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Slight differences in language do make a difference.

That doesn’t translate well when you’re dealing with deeply-held political views in writing.

So when you start a broadcast/cable/podcast with a recession of an angry partisan screed, people switch away.

Your job is the get people to stick around long enough to listen to some commercials.

Otherwise, consuming your product is exhausting.

Even with draconian laws and regulations, you can leave.

That applies to things to which you’ve long had an allegiance.

It’s difficult, but sometimes it’s what you have to do.

There’s also no way to force people back into line; people have to want to be back consuming your offereiings.

And, as I wrote this, I took my own advice, and unsubscribed from that which I’d turned off Thursday.

It was tough, but it was something I needed to do.


So. What’s on tap for this week?

Another 10% increase in my exercise number. That’s for tomorrow, and I’m not particularly looking forward to it, but, again, doing what I need to do.

Keep the mailing lists up and running. Please subscribe to the ch-talk list. I gave access to someone else to help monitor the somewhat-tricky list daemon. (On an unrelated note, GNU apps don’t seem to always play nicely with the shitshow that is systemd…)

Some menial tracking stuff at work; I won’t elaborate.

Get through more of this that I’ve been listening to. Naturally, being the GenXer I am, I think about this.

Get my free Intertubes connection running. ComcatXfinity probably will try to shut it off, but I’m wondering if there’s something I can do with an IPSec tunnel to make it look like I’m working from home or something. I am a bit heartened that it appears the FCC isn’t going to be the disaster that it could be with the Democrats back in charge. I think this was something I meant to link the other day. If Government is the answer, you didn’t ask a good question.

I think I’ve written enough for the day. More as the inspiration strikes.

Because Saturday Morning

It’s a chance to sit and collect various thoughts I’ve had through the week. Or something.

If you’re reading, or just want to talk to me, please subscribe to the mailing list, and talk amongst yourselves. I’m not going to restrict discussion, unless something is completely out-of-bounds.

There’s folks who are trying to do things absent the big tech big tech cancellation. I heard about this on a podcast yesterday.

Registered. And no email. Hm. Things work more slowly. I guess the immediacy is something that people really value these days. I’m okay waiting.

Unrelated, but somewhat along the same lines, with the cancel culture, it can work in the other way. My thinking on this started seeing this in one of my newsfeeds. Companies are refusing customers left and right. I remember having mixed thoughts about what happened with Sarah Sanders at a restaurant here in Virginia.

I guess this speaks a bit towards to what Barry Goldwater’s objections to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 were.

Virginia law doesn’t apply the protections of that act to private businesses.

It’s a tough thing. In 1964, there were many places where there was only a single provider for many things.

That’s not true anymore. You can choose to live your life separately. Yes, it might be difficult, but it’s really not that difficult.

Do it.

And if you own/run a business, choose your customers. Choose how you will be reimbursed, too. Crypto. Barter. Whatever Government has shown repeatedly that it’s incapable of doing much correctly. Or, as Harry Browne put it, Government Doesn’t Work. (Yes, that’s a huge PDF, but it came up in my search results, and the shopping links were all from that company with which I will not do business..)

I got distracted by an alert about the impeachment trial. They voted for witnesses. Senator Graham changed his vote at the end when it was clear that there would be witnesses. So, nothing will get done in the Senate until this comedy of errors is finished. Democracy at work!!1!

Theme Of The Week #86

Tell us about a personal challenge you overcame, and how it helped you grow

I’ve spent several days trying to figure out how to answer this one.

Perhaps I’ll expound elsewhere about the particulars of what I’ve done, but I don’t know that I’m ready to articulate it fully on my public site.

I don’t really “overcome” things. I compensate, and adjust to keep moving along.

Since so many of my adjustments are related to my various physical issues.

Given that I’ve had all of these major things going on with my body, basically since puberty, some of the things I did to deal with physical discomfort weren’t good for me.

My psychologist has kind of pointed me towards OCD, especially the “Pure O” version of OCD.

I have many obsessions, and the various things I’d developed really don’t work for others (and I started seeing my doctor when the methods I’d developed really quit working for me all at once).

I do have obsessions. Writing, for example, but I’m definitely more towards the obsessive side of OCD.

So, have I overcome it? No.

Am I better than I was, say, two years ago? Absolutely.

I’ve done all of these things, but there’s so many things that I would have liked to go and do that I now can’t. I have money to travel, buy things I would like, etc., but I really can’t enjoy them because of things that have gotten worse with the MS progression.

For example, skiing would be something that’s a near-suicidal urge.

Even things around town are tough when you can’t drive or walk well.

I don’t think I’ve overcome, but I’m certainly a lot better than I was not terribly long ago.

Super Sunday

I guess I can say that without getting sued; there’s no ads here.

Very ambivalent on the game, honestly. There’s things about each team that I like, and things about each I really don’t like.

KC Likes: Patrick Mahomes. Travis Kelce, Spagnolo Defense. KC Dislikes: F’n West Coast Offense.

Tampa likes: Arians, Brady, Antonio Brown, Gronk, Fournette, Byron Leftwich, Ryan Succop. Tampa dislikes: 34 blitz-all-the-things Defense, Brady, Antonio Brown, that it’s Tampa, Suh…

But there’s still roughly six hours before kickoff, so I’m trying to find things to do until I start watching TV.

We watched the NFL Honors last night. Not happy that Rodgers got the MVP, though not as unhappy as Collinsworth and Aikman are that he said something about a fiancée. Was nice seeing Alex Smith win the Comeback Player of the Year.

Yes, I’m rambling.

I’ve been on hold with a certain foreign retailer who might have designed the Rams’ new uniforms. 31 minutes. We ordered this stuff in September. Three pieces. One was delivered late, and the other two have never arrived. I phoned at the start of the year to see what the deal was. Oh, we’ll refund the shipping, and the charges for the items that haven’t been delivered.

No credit back on my credit card.

That’s enough for now. I’m bored. I’ll update this once I finally get through to these people.

Adios January

Saturday, so, of course, I’m writing.

More than a bit of hesitance to start writing today, which, maybe, is a good thing considering that it’s a manifestation of my OCD.

Good virtual meetups with both the Peddling Fiction, and HR Geeks folks last night.

Calling, again, for folks to sign up for the ^H Talk list.

Getting to a way to stay in touch with people is important in the age of mass deplaforming. Good pod yesterday with someone trying to create a hosting platform that doesn’t just pull things with which they disagree.

What’s your job? Is it to serve your customers who want to host whatever it is they want to host, or to monitor their content?

To what seems like many these days, the answer is the latter.

But it doesn’t work. You can’t keep information inside a defined box.

You also can’t do that with people’s thoughts.

Short of murdering them.

Oh, putting it that way bothers you? I’d apologize, but, no, I’m not going to.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

I was asked to take this survey, so here goes….

What do you think about most?

I really don’t know. Probably what I need to do next.

What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Cool.”

What do you wear to bed?

Underwear

Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know of.

When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Probably to a bump with a podcast I was listening to. Last week, maybe? But last week, too, I was wondering if I could even hope to keep rhythm strumming with my right hand.

Do you have any strange phobias?

Not that I can think of.

What’s your religion?

It’s personal. There’s things that science hasn’t been able to explain. Science knows what the building blocks for life are, but we’ve never been able to really get spontaneous generation to work. I’ve never been able to get past the idea of the “uncaused first cause.”

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Working on a computer.

Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Given my physical maladies, both positions are problematic.

What was the last lie you told?

I’ve been thinking about this since I saw the question, but I’m having trouble finding an answer. If there’s a question I don’t want to answer, I don’t answer it.

Do you believe in karma?

Dunno. Instant Karma gets stuck in my head from time to time. (And why do I find much of the various Beatles’ post-breakup offerings better than the stuff they did while they were together….?)

What does your username mean?

It’s terminal erase. (Hence my subtitle…everything gets deleted eventually….)

What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Obviously my various physical maladies are probably my greatest weakness; being nearly blind is tough. My strength? Ability go keep my temper under control.

Who is your celebrity crush?

I really don’t know right now. I still notice people with eyes that don’t match the hair. (Blue eyes and dark hair will always be something I notice…..and, yes, my wife fits into that description….)

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yes.

How do you vent your anger?

Snark, really. But I remove myself from the situation when I have an opportunity.

Do you have a collection of anything?

Nothing so much, anymore.

Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

This is totally a twentieth century question.

Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Umm. I’m not terribly regretful of anything.

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate: there are some elevators that have this nearly rubber band sound that drives me nuts. I’m very happy I’ve not had to deal with a building that has those for very long. And, thinking more about it, those elevators’ presence might have partially steered me away from an apartment in Norfolk I was considering.

Love: I actually like the sound of an old school low-bypass turbofan. There used to be a video on the didn’t-used-to-do-evil video platform of a Boeing 720 taking off. Awesome.

Do you believe in ghosts? What about aliens?

Kind of skeptical on both.

Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first?

Nothing. I’d have to get out of the chair, and take a few steps right to hit the closet door.

Smell the air. What do you smell?

I think my wife is cooking something.

What’s the weather like right now?

Grey.

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Against some, sure. Part of what I was trying to do a few months ago was forgive some of those who’d mistreated me, but I’ve kind of backed off on that. Yes, I made some mistakes, some of them pretty big. But I never did anything to knowingly harm anyone. I can’t say the same courtesy wasn’t paid to me. No, I’m not going to forget. I might forgive if you reach out to me.

What is your astrological sign?

Leo

Do you save money or spend it?

I’m pretty miserly these days. But buying things rarely gives me any satisfaction.

What’s the last thing you purchased?

Um. It was either a pizza, or various caplets to swallow.

Are you in a relationship?

I’ve been married for over a decade. We’ve been together for nearly fifteen years.

Is there anything pink  within 10 feet of you?

No.

Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes.

What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Nothing I can see.

Where is your best friend?

She’s in the kitchen. As I said, I think she’s cooking something.

What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping.

Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Maybe?

What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

I’m having trouble naming something right off the bat. For whatever reason, Back In The New York Groove just started playing in my head. So, that?

What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Asking my wife to marry me.

Favorite color?

Blue.

What is your current desktop picture?

Again, a very 1990s question. I’m using some Microsoft random photo thing. Today is some rock formations underneath a lightning storm.

What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m going to demur here, too.

You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere.

Um. Was that a question? I don’t know where I’d like to go. The COVID lockdowns have really killed all travel. Would I be able to go do anything once I get to wherever it is I’d choose to go?

Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

What will you do after this?

Probably go take a nap; I have some more work to do tonight.