Month: November 2015

What opportuntities that you’ve passed up do you regret passing?

I’m trying to think of my frame of mind when I wrote this prompt.

I mean, there’s stuff that I could have done that would have greatly affected my life path.

but, then, I probably wouldn’t have met my wife, so I don’t really care about them.

I love my wife. I love where I live. I like that I feel like I’m getting some control over my health. My job would have to improve to suck, but….can’t win ‘em all.

Do I wish I’d been a bit less reckless on a few things? Sure. Do I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I been more reckless? Absolutely.

But, for tonight, I’m home. I’m going to have a Martini, and wait for my dinner to arrive.

I don’t know why this didn’t save yesterday. But it made ti to the blog, which I coped from here……

http://control-h.org/index.php/2015/11/19/eighteen-2/

Who knows?

What is your favorite holiday, and why?

~o/Love to eat turkey/o~

I do like Thanksgiving. Family, food, football, etc.. I really don’t like the start of the Christmas mania, but I guess I understand it. (At the same time, there’s a very Randy Marsh element there….the episode where he bought a Blockbuster Video store….)

But lots of memories of what happened various Thanksgivings.

The Lions and the Cowboys switching years facing a division opponent, and the other playing an AFC team. (Cluestick, Red-headed Spokeschimp Goodell….there shouldn’t be three all-NFC games! Seriously!)

The stoner passing out in line in front of me at Walmart, as I was packing to drive to my uncle’s house in South Carolina…

But, also, occasionally, there’d be something new and unexpected to try. Maybe it was a guest who brought something. Maybe it’s what they were serving….

(Holidays in the mess hall aren’t something people who’ve grown up outside the Army life won’t understand. Even my Navy brat wife talks of holidays on the officers’ mess…..there isn’t one of those in the Army; my dad would bring us to eat with his soldiers…yes, he was an officer, but that really didn’t matter…they were his guys, even if they didn’t have something shiny on their caps…..) So, new things. Maybe not things I’d traditionally thought of for Thanksgiving dinner, but, really, anything goes I guess.

Since this is a bit short, I suppose I should stuff it. I’ve never had a turkey filled with stuffing. I’m okay with this. Cornbread dressing gets cooked in its own cassarole dish, not inside the damned bird.

I need to figure out what to bring to the office Thanksgiving meal. Hmmmmmm…..

And this for the Cowboys’ fans…..

What normally find attractive in a partner? If you’re “taken,” does your current relationship fit that? If single, have you ever been with someone who fit those? Are there celebs who don’t fall into your traditional mold you’re nonethess attracted to?

Let’s see…..

I like different hair/eye combinations. Blonde/brown, Brown/blue, ???/green, ???//hazel, ???/grey.

Yes, my wife has one of those preferred combinations. When I met her, I didn’t notice anthing from the face down. (At first, later, of course I did….)

As for celebs that don’t fall into the categories to whom I’m attracted, there’s a few. Joanne Nosuchinsky.(No idea on that one, other than I see her on TV a lot) Charli XCX. (She looks suspiciously like someone I used to know….) By the same token, there’s some who have the keys that there’s no way in hell; Megan Fox, much (seriously, she is staling oxygen…..).

But being happily taken, and not seeing all that well, I really don’t notice often anymore.

Write a bit about your drivers’ licence. How old were you, where did you get it? What kind of car did you drive?

I was fifteen, driving my grandfather’s Ford, because I was nervous about stalling out my dad’s manual transmission Jeep. I probably would have been fine, but i was freaked out about the rumor that you’d automatically fail if you stalled….

i had a much longer entry written about this, but I managed to lose it.

This was the day after a tropical storm had strewn the course with limbs. Because of that, the trooper didn’t make me parallel park (which might have been something I wouldn’t have been able to do in a somewhat-unfamilar car).

It was a bit odd, because I’d had no formal behind-the-wheel training. My dad was still in the Army, and I’d taken drivers’ ed in Pennsylvania.

I basically stopped driving in late 2012. After hitting some road debris, pretty seriously damaging my car, and having the ability to work from home, I stopped.

By that point, I really couldn’t read the speedometer much of the time, so I was setting my speed by the sound of the engine, and the gear I was in.

I tried again towards the end of that year, and I couldn’t make out traffic lights against green backgrounds 9think a light with a tree behind it).

Damn you, optic neuritis. http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/opticneuritis.html

I was also getting to the point where I’d often hit the brake when I was hitting the clutch. Some of that was due to the car I owned, which had rather narrow spacing between the pedals, but……

When I’m home, I rarely miss driving; I can get pretty much everywhere I want to go by public transportation. When I’m away for this job, however, I’m basically a shut-in. I can’t go anywhere once I’m at work. Where I work, I can’t even get a cab.

When I’m at my mother’s house, I can get a taxi, but it’s expensive.

Halftime. When was/will be the halftime fo your life?

This was a rather dark prompt now that I look at it again.

Do I think I’m past the halfway point? I don’t know. Am I there in other aspects of my life? Yes. My professional career? Yep. This particular job? Certainly.

On so many things I ask myself why I continue on. Maybe NoJoMo should be one of those.

I will probably write next year; I don’t just quit, even when I have good reason to. I’m a Saints’ fan, so I’m watching Buddy Ryan Jr.-B’s defense get a good start on serving up the fortyburger in FedEx Field……

So, a bit of freewriting as the Redskins score, what am I looking forward to the next few few months?

1. Thanksgiving. For the first time in a very long time, I think I will be able to actually enjoy eating this year. Actually being hungry for the first time in almost twenty years is something new.
2. Travel. My wife and I are planning a trip, and I’m excited about that. The only details I’ll reveal are that French food will be consumed.

That jewelry commercial was more than a little hetero-normative……

Does anything have you excited for next year?

Nothing in particular, no.

I do seriously doubt that things will be the same as they are now. This situation I’m in is untenable; something different will be happening.

I’m not going to elaborate, because so few of these things are decided.

Changes are coming. As long as I’m alive, I’ll deal with those. Maybe that makes me a bad person, being comfortable with finding new ways of doing things. That makes me a bad target for politicians and insurance salesmen…..

I am certain I won’t be moving to a McMansion in the suburbs.

I’d started on this this morning, but I’m now distracted by what’s going on in Europe.

So, yeah, I really don’t give a shit about writing now.

The French are the wrong ones to fuck with, y’all

It’s Friday the Thirteenth. What superstitio.ns do you have

This one is tough, because I really don’t have any.

I understand that many successful people are incredibly attached to them. Even as a kid, before I went on my Objectivist kick, I railed against them.

Some might have had a legitimate root, they’re no longer necessary.

I run into this woth work, where I hear advice to do something that won’t have an effect on the problem at hand.

I’m trying to remember something about a real dozen. What was I like at age twelve? (Other than obese….) So, this may end up being a bit of free writing unless someone brings me a dozen cupcakes

So, twelve. That would have been nineteen ninety mumbles

Or, to put it another way, almost everyone who turned twelve in the 90s is now in his/her thirties…..

I was living in Northern Germany. The sun hadn’t come up when I got on the school bus in the morning, and it was getting dark when I got home in the afternoon.

On the flip side, I could play tennis at eleven at night during the summer.

It was a small place, and it’s incredible how quickly things changed. We found out sometime maybe early in the Spring that the post an hour south was closing within six months, and the one where my dad was stationed was closing within eighteen?

What else do I remember?

Music. Grunge (Nirvana, Pearl Jam), Rap (NWA, Geto Boys)…..

Can you honestly tell me that Still isn’t earworming you right now?

I had a drink. I smoked a cigarette (so maybe it wa smore than an a….).

But, by and large, I stayed out of trouble, amazinly enough.

I despared about the Saints. I seriously wondered if the Royals would ever win another World Series.

I dreamed about what I might like to do when I was older.

If someone had told me that I’d spend almost a decade working in TV and radio, I would have laughed. Unless it was on AFN, maybe.

I probably wouldn’t have been surprised I’d married. I probably would be surprised I’d gotten into two really bad work situations in a row.

Nobody offered me cupcakes, so I wrote. What can I say? It’s what I do.

I apologize in advance for the flippant prompt. I wasn’t thinking when I came up with it. The Eleventh hour of the Eleventh day of the Eleventh month holds incredible significance for what happened almost a hundred years ago.

Nobody who fought is still alive. There are only a few people who remember it.

Several of the military folks with whom I wokr didn’t know why Veterans’ Day is always November 11th.

To me, though, World War I was probably the most important war of the 20th Century. Its effects are still affecting events today. Other than one great-grandfather, who was an Army Lieutenant, I don’t know much of my family’s involvement.

Living a few blocks away from this during college might have sparked some of my interest – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newport_News_Victory_Arch

Given that the Eighteenth Amendment was working its way through the states at the time, maybe the prompt is somewhat relevant after all…….

Libations. Do you partake? What has been in your glass recently?

Yes, when I have access and money. Lately, though, I’ve cut back a lot. Part of it is access. Part of it is lack of desire. Maybe that’s medication-related. Who knows?

When I do have something, however, it’s normally to accompany a meal.

Apertitf (Martini, Manhattan, Sazerac, etc.)
Something with the meal (beer or wine)
Digestif (occasionally, but more often another glass of whatever I had with dinner)

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve drank to alter my state of consciousness.

And, of course, there’s a few times where I’ve let things get out-of-hand by accident…..

As for what I like these days? With my partial hipster vibe going on (yes, I have a beard right now….), I like local microbrews. When I got laid off beginning of last year, I tried drinking on the cheap. It wasn’t satisfying.

Not a big PBR fan, and too bald to grow my hair long enough for a ManBun(TM).

Something else I fail at.

And that’s okay.

What are some qualities of bad bosses? What would you not do if you were supervising others? (No, I won’t aks for you to make your worst bosses, but you can write about why they sucked.)

Worst Qualities:
1. Lack of sympathy comes immediately to mind. I understand that my situation is odd for many people. Hell, it’s odd for me! I don’t expect empathy; quit trying. Your situation is likely nothing at all like mine, so you have no idea. To quote Coach Mora, “you think you know, but you don’t know.” And I hope you never will I’m not being unreliable on purpose. If I need extra time off, or am having trouble doing something, I’m getting better at admitting it.
2. Unwillingness to take a wholistic appropach The little things do matter, but they’re ultimely less important than the whole. Something that is utterly bad might have all those little things that you think are important. Does it really do the job? Sticking with the football comparison, George Allen used to talk about Sonny Jurgensen’s passes versus Billy Kilmer’s; he thought they won more games with Kilmer under center. This was one of the big things I ran into with one job; having a perfectly-startched shirt was more important than putting out a good, correct product.
3. Abusing your subordinates in front of others to make yourself seem competent. Yelling at someone just makes you an asshole, unless there’s something life-or-death at stake. Very little of the work I do rises to that level. If I screw soemthing up, which I do more often than I’d like, take me aside, and say it in private. The same goes for written evaluations; if you dish it out, be prepared for me to disagree. If you do not afford me that opportunity, I’m going to snark about it when I’m forced to sign something “accepting” it. No, I don’t accept it, and I can tell you you’re why you’re wrong if you give me the opportunity.
4. Unwillingness to attribute anything. A “meeting” without an agenda, an attandence sheet, or minutes didn’t happen.
5. Unwillingness to own up to your own mistakes. You screw up. I’ve already told you that I do, too. I don’t harp on your mistakes, and am willing to move on if you own up to your own shortcomings. Listen, I’m not a Red Sox fan, and you’re not Bill Buckner.
6. Being dishonest about compensation. I do realize that I’m in the current position I’m in because I pissed off someone who’s now in Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass prison. I may be younger than you; I’m not a rookie.
7. Putting your own need for a quick buck ahead of the customer’s needs, and demands. If the customer doesn’t understand what he actually needs, do the damn research, and convince him. If you, and your employees aren’t 100% sold on your individual solution, it’s probably not the right solution.

I’m sure I could go on and on with those, but I’m tired today.

So, what would I do if I was supervising people.

1. Offer suggestions instead of bark orders. If I can explain why/how doing something differently might be better, I think I’m more likely to get cooperation.
2. Figure out what someone really cares about in his work, and let him concentrate on that.
3. Understand the bigger picture. One of the bits in Office Space was the new motto, “is this good for the company?” No, is this good for the customer, first. Second, is this good for the quality of the work? Maybe something’s different than what you’re accustomed to; maybe there’s a reason why what your’e accustomed to has fallen out of favor?

Much like the bad thngs, I could go on and on about the things I’d do. That said, my dinner is getting cold.