25

Recycling, again, to see what’s changed since November 2010.
Here’s what I wrote then:


Day 29 — Relearning – 11/29/2010


Have you ever had to re-learn something that used to be second nature?

Yes, I added this as a suggestion. I’ve had to re-learn many things, and still haven’t gotten the knack of all of them. What I had in mind when I left this was running. Since my latest MS flare, I cannot run at all. When I was in bad shape last spring, I could barely walk, really. Since then, my gait is almost normal, but I can’t run at all, really. My feet get tangled up.

It’s kind of incredible when you actually think about everything your body does to run….the signals being sent to your brain to make it happen. For me, that includes signals your feet send every time they hit the ground.

Imagine trying to run when your feet are asleep. My feet feel like that all the time.

Still, there’s been other things that have been affected.

*clutch*

Early on there, driving was difficult.

*clutch*

Oops, caught the brake with my toe….

Some more even basic life functions were and are still out-of-whack.

Some days if I give myself my shot in the wrong place, my diaphragm doesn’t work.

*breathe*

I’m penciled-in for physical therapy in a few months to learn how to jog again. While all this has let me lose a lot of weight, I do want to be able to effectively exercise. Right now, I can’t.e stuff below the waist. I mean, I was potty trained by like three. Urgency, make it to the bathroom on time, then can’t let go…..

What’s your personal fashion statement when it comes to dressing? Which look describes you and what are your signature clothing accessories?

The others weren’t working, so I’ll take a stab at this one….

I guess the most notable one would be button-down shirts. I really don’t like wearing anything else. But not everybody can pull off wearing a white shirt without a suit. I can, so I do. And I do manage to keep them clean most days. ūüôā

I also rotate my glasses. I have about four pairs I vary, depeding on what I’m wearing, and what I’m doing. My big black and brown acetate ones are probably most comfortable. I think I paid about twenty bucks a pair for them….

When I need to look nice, I have more stylish stuff. My nerd glasses haven’t gone with a suit and tie…..yet.

I still haven’t bought that brown suit I’ve been wanting. Thing is, I don’t need to wear a suit very often, and I’ve been hesitant to buy something until my size stabilizes a bit more.


Have you ever had to re-learn something that used to be second nature?
Back in the 2010 entry, I was writing about driving. ¬†My vision has gotten so bad that when I moved, I didn’t renew my license. ¬†I haven’t even tried to drive since about the end of 2012.
Quick primer¬†on what MS does to vision. ¬†While I don’t have really bad double vision, my acuity is very bad. ¬†It must have been sometime in 2012, I visited a neurological ophthalmologist, and she wasn’t able to even come close to correcting me to 20/20. ¬†Combined, I was at about 20/50. ¬†In my right eye, I was correctable to 20/60. ¬†She couldn’t even correct me to 20/200 in my left eye. ¬†I am left eye dominant, so this is a big part of the problem.
You really can’t re-learn seeing, but there’s other physical things I’ve had to try to remaster.
Stairs aren’t my friend. ¬†I quipped about something yesterday about dipping my perpetually-numb toes into something (the NYC market, maybe?). ¬†Going up is a lot easier than going down, because I can’t feel my feet hit. ¬†I don’t know that I have a good foothold.
My weird crosshandedness has made things even tougher as my nerve damage increases.
I find myself doing a lot more things with my left hand.  Sinister.
That does include things that I learned how to do right-handed. ¬†I wonder if I was to do some sort of physical activity if now I’d try to do it lefty.
Holding a racket, even throwing. ¬†I’ve batted left-handed since I was about fifteen years old. ¬†I know that I’d still do that if I was able to see well enough to actually make contact….
I hold my cane in my right hand, so my left will be free to do things.  *shrug*
What’s your personal fashion statement when it comes to dressing? Which look describes you and what are your signature clothing accessories?
I really don’t have one. ¬†When I’m home, it’s jeans and a T-shirt. ¬†When I got to work, it’s slacks and a button-down shirt.
This prompt from years ago does start to walk on something that’s bothered me a lot lately; who gives a fuck about¬†my¬†style?
Maybe that’s the sort of thing that’s from a generation prior to mine. ¬†One of the local shady car dealership groups has a flowery jingle telling buyers that¬†YOU¬†can have it all! ¬†*headdesk*
Get over yourself. ¬†You have a car. ¬†You take care of it. ¬†You drive it. ¬†That’s not remarkable, and nothing you do will make it so.
I could launch into a long tirade about this, but I understand that probably nobody is reading this. ¬†Someone from the Me Generation wouldn’t be okay with that.
I am.

24

I didn’t reference Blink 182 for yesterday’s entry, so there’s that. What I’m going to do for today is revisit something I once wrote, and see what’s different today.


Life Review – 2/22/2000


Periodically, I do a full review of everything I do in life. Every little thing. I then rate those things on an evaluative scale: like, dislike, indifferent.

Examples would be like this…..

Like: Reading OD, messing around on the computer, being on the air

Dislike: Doing Dishes, thinking about my psycho ex girlfriend, watching Kathie Lee, doing my taxes

Indifferent: Brushing my teeth, paying bills.

I then try to cut out the things I don’t like, and don’t absolutely need to do. Normally, I can hit upon some things I’m doing that I don’t like, and are really holding me back in life. I haven’t been able to find anything certain in this round.

So why am I in such a funk?

Why do I feel like I’m having so little success?

Why can’t I, for the life of me, find a girlfriend?

Sorry for the bitching, but I’m a bit frustrated right now.


I was twenty when I wrote that.
I haven’t done much in the way of life reviews since about my thirtieth birthday. ¬†To paraphrase someone, the die is cast. ¬†(Yes, I know who it is….)
Likes:  actually building things, spending time with my wife, eating good food, drinking good drinks, trying to follow football and baseball.
Dislikes:  working to just stay above water, MS (and all its negative effects on me), the segment of the population for whom politics has replaced religion.
Indifferent: ¬†There’s too many to list, really. ¬†(And, no, that doesn’t mean I’m really depressed…just that I don’t really get excited or depressed about mundane things.)
Changes are happening in my life, whether I’m ready for them or not. ¬†I fully expect something by the time I finish up this round of writing (20 August). ¬†Whatever those changes entail, I’m good with.
Things are better than when I wrote this two years ago.  Worse than last year, but I was getting frustrated with what I was doing.
I am getting back into things that I really do enjoy, though.  Rediscovering that which made me me.

Writing Prompts 1/3

Followup to yesterday’s entry…. People who know me personally will see the impetus for some of these.

  1. List your schools, through high school. Describe a memory from each.
    List some of your earliest memories. Where were you? Is there anyone who could provide clarity about them?
  2. Describe your year to date.
  3. Since it’s Election Day, when did you first vote? Did you vote today? Have your political opinions changed as you’ve aged?
  4. Write about your siblings. Where are they now, what are they doing? When was the last time you saw him/her/them? Are you on good terms?
  5. Describe a typical day for you at work. You can go total Peter Gibbons on this one.
  6. Write about your mother.
  7. If you attended college, talk about your alma mater. Did you have a good experience? Are you happy with the major you selected? Are there any lessons that’ll stick with you forever? Do you have people you keep in contact with?
  8. Pro sports time — list your favorite teams, along with when you started following them.
  9. Describe the highs and lows of your fandom.
  10. With a third of the month passed, what are your plans for the rest of the month

Exhaustion Got Me

Yeah, I didn’t write about what I’d meant to. I also didn’t run an errand I desperately need to.

I can forgive myself. This situation is taking every ounce of patience I have. (Yes, there’s something fishy going on that I’m not going to write about here. Let’s just say that I really shouldn’t have to put up with shit like this at this stage in my life. This is even more true when I’m doing a favor…..)

I haven’t gotten very far into Chopra’s book; my eyes get weird when I’m tired. But I’ve had time to think about it all more. With that consideration, I find myself really confirming my initial thoughts.

Similarly, I do know what I’m supposed to expect in my current position. I’m not getting it.

Whatever.

A friend, and former co-worker is coming by in a bit to discuss ITS757. One of the places I really take Mr. Chopra’s approach to heart is the emphasis on open data.

This change in thinking is something the certification wizards don’t understand.

Admit You’re Wrong

“Oh no, not yet.”

Background music here. (Along with the coolest CGI 1993 had to offer, and a depressingly-sad song set to colossal synth orchastra hits that prevent you from noticing first few listens…. I like that kind of thing.)

But back to the message. Everybody makes mistakes. We’re human. If Lovie Smith is the coach he’s purported to be, he’s telling himself that today, after last night. The key is learning to recognize when what you’re doing isn’t working, and to change things up.

Sticking to the football references, this is somewhere where Al Davis didn’t “get it.” Maybe speed, and throwing downfieldd all the time worked in 1983; it doesn’t work anymore. The coaching staff who got you to your last Super Bowl was boring “West Coast Offense,” and Rich Gannon. You didn’t win fast enough, and you got JaMarcus Russell.

So much of what I see being done in my career field is looking for JaMarcus. Hey, this worked in 2003, it should work in 2014. Cluestick — it doesn’t. In fact, trying to recreate it is foolish in light of what’s happened technologically.

So, what I’m trying to do is do honest analysis, and choose the best solution(s) for the current situation. Maybe they’re not textbook. Maybe they don’t lend themselves to an expensive multiple-choice test. Still, I am confident that ultimately, I can help someone make the correct decision based on the situation.

I’m writing this just before I attend Start Norfolk, so that’s affecting my thought patterns quite a bit. My current work position is also a bit akin to being a Tackle in an Art Shell Air Coryell offense. *sigh*

Admit You're Wrong

“Oh no, not yet.”
Background music here. (Along with the coolest CGI 1993 had to offer, and a depressingly-sad song set to colossal synth orchastra hits that prevent you from noticing first few listens…. I like that kind of thing.)
But back to the message. Everybody makes mistakes. We’re human. If Lovie Smith is the coach he’s purported to be, he’s telling himself that today, after last night. The key is learning to recognize when what you’re doing isn’t working, and to change things up.
Sticking to the football references, this is somewhere where Al Davis didn’t “get it.” Maybe speed, and throwing downfieldd all the time worked in 1983; it doesn’t work anymore. The coaching staff who got you to your last Super Bowl was boring “West Coast Offense,” and Rich Gannon. You didn’t win fast enough, and you got JaMarcus Russell.
So much of what I see being done in my career field is looking for JaMarcus. Hey, this worked in 2003, it should work in 2014. Cluestick — it doesn’t. In fact, trying to recreate it is foolish in light of what’s happened technologically.
So, what I’m trying to do is do honest analysis, and choose the best solution(s) for the current situation. Maybe they’re not textbook. Maybe they don’t lend themselves to an expensive multiple-choice test. Still, I am confident that ultimately, I can help someone make the correct decision based on the situation.
I’m writing this just before I attend Start Norfolk, so that’s affecting my thought patterns quite a bit. My current work position is also a bit akin to being a Tackle in an Art Shell Air Coryell offense. *sigh*