One

Introduction, etc..

November is here. Time to write. Time to cease shaving my upper lip.

I first did this write every day in November for the first time in 2010. This was something that’d been going on on The Open Diary, somewhere I’d been writing since 1999.

I’d kind of fallen off writing for a while after I really started getting serious with the woman I’d marry. (I met her in 2006, and was pretty light on writing in 2007 and 2008. When I was diagnosed with MS in early 2010, I started writing in earnest again.) I’d see people doing this, and decided to give it a shot.

When I finished, I felt a bit of accomplishment.

(Here’s where I had a bunch more stuff I’d written, but I deleted it.)

OD went away for awhile, and I kept things going on my own personal blog. OD is now back, and I thank them for honoring my subscription from years ago.

Suffice it to say that this is National Journal Writers’ Month, “NoJoMo” number ten. My psychologist (yes, I’m seeing one after being referral by my neurologist) has identified my writing stretches as compulsive behavior.

When I was at my lowest point, I started writing daily in the month leading up to my birthday. This year, I managed not to do that. I credit Dr. V. for this, along with my lack of dedication to it last year. When I was doing it last year, I found it not as fulfilling as it’d been when I was shivering away in my eighth of a cubicle in an antiquated data center with the thermostat set at 65 degrees. (Those solid state electronics last so much longer when they’re operated at below their vendor-specified range….)

Even if writing like this is a compulsion, I do think I still get something out of it. It kind of sets my mind in the holiday mood. November this year is going to be incredibly busy.

First up? Sunday my brother, his wife, and I head off to the Land Mass for my grandfather’s 90th birthday celebration. I’ve not flown since my diagnosis, and am really worried about how the flights are going to affect me. Thankfully, the airlines were actually helpful in getting me set up with assistance getting through security, and a wheelchair for going through the airports.

Second is moving. My wife and I have rented a place inside the Beltway. This will serve as our first permanent home outside Tidewater. I could go on for hours about my relief about being away from there, but I won’t. Let’s just say that things have gone incredibly well for me, just because I’m not there anymore.

Third will be health issues, and getting settled. I have set up my prove-you’re-disabled meeting with WMATA so I can take the short bus to and from my doctors’ appointments, work, etc.. I also have an appointment with an ENT at Georgetown to address some longstanding issues revealed when I was tyring to get my dental issues resolved. I also plan to switch my PCP to one of the providers in Alexandria. I will also be finding a new dentist there; I do really like the guy I’m seeing out here, but it’s going to be too much of a trek to get out here to see him.

Fourth, of course, is Thanksgiving week, and all the fun that goes along with it. I still have absolutely no idea what I’ll be doing, or where I’ll be.

But I will be writing. Hopefully, with all the craziness, I’ll be able to stick with it without interruption this year. (I forgot one day last year; just completely slipped my scarred mind….)

And we’re off and running in year ten.

NoJoMo 2019

Hat-tip to this, which is providing some of my prompts for this year. Obviously, they’re intended for a much younger audience, but it provides a bit to work with.

  1. Introduction, etc..
  2. If you had three wishes, what would they be? (Do not ask for three more wishes)
  3. Football
  4. Start of the birthday bits
  5. Birthday Deux
  6. Travel recap.
  7. Describe how you would manage your own radio or TV station.
  8. Birthday Tres
  9. The saying goes, “Money cannot buy happiness.” Do you agree or disagree? Why?
  10. Write about what you think you will be like and what you will be doing 10 years or 20 years from now.
  11. Veterans’ Day
  12. Free-write
  13. Two men or women have it easier in our culture? If so, why do you think so?
  14. Write about your biggest fears (reach-back to 2010).
  15. Halftime free-write
  16. if you could change one thing in your life what would it be and why? (reach-back to 2010)
  17. Christmas Shopping
  18. How would you describe yourself? How would your best friend describe you? (reach-back to 2012)
  19. What was the most creative excuse you’ve come up with to get out of a date, an appointment, or doing a task? (reach-back to 2013)
  20. Write about an experience that changed a long held belief you had. (reach-back to 2013)
  21. Thanksgiving Plans
  22. Write a letter to your 13 year old {sic} self. (reach-back to 2013)
  23. Describe your most recent doctor visit. I’m specifically looking for the one(s) you see most often. (reach-back to 2016)
  24. Write about three things you did for the first time in the past year. (reach-back to 2016)
  25. Recap of your year month-by-month.
  26. Healthcare situation (reach-back to 2016, trip to Georgetown.)
  27. Write about social media. What are your accounts? What have you set aside?
  28. Thanksgiving
  29. Shopping/Free-write
  30. Wrap-up

Sixteen

Write about three things you did for the first time in the past year.

Okay, so three things I’ve done this year that I’d never done before.  Please excuse the odd organization;  i started with bullets, and I’m not sure if that was the correct way to go.  There’s multiple paragraphs for each.  Of course, if I was writing a DoD PowerPoint presentation, they’d be awesome.

Anyway, on to it….

  • Ate a raw oyster. A few, actually. They were listed as a specialty at my friend’s restaurant. I’d been considering doing it. The opportunity presented itself, so I went for it. Reaction? Not bad. Probably something I wouldn’t go for often, but it was good. If you want an example of what a nerd I am, in the months leading up to that time, I actually googled how to eat them. Do you chew them? Swallow whole? What? Obviously, roasted or fried you chew, but what of the raw variety. The answers I found said, essentially, take a few bites, let the flavor circulate around your mouth, then swallow. Yes, this is a pretty lukewarm reaction, but I’ve found months later that I have a craving again. It’s the oddest damned thing.
  • Spent a night in the hospital. This one didn’t happen until it was oyster season again. Obviously, they don’t serve those there. Both times were terribly unpleasant. One night the first time, two the second. The second instance was one day shy of a month later. Both were due to infections. Both of different bacteria. Both, ultimately, of the same cause. Protip: when you’re killing your immune system every four weeks, inserting foreign bodies into your body is a really bad idea(TM). Ultimately, I place the blame on one medical provider. I won’t write much about this here because I’m still considering all options (and, yes, that includes whatever legal remedies might be available). But, in my current job, I have no leave at all. None. I don’t even get paid holidays. If I’m not working, I’m not getting paid. I was also completely out-of-control. When I was younger, I prided myself in my ability to put up with nearly anything. Since I got sick, I’ve had to get over that. There’s things that I just can’t control anymore. My body is included in that growing list. That includes my emotions. I’m tempted to go back to some of what I wrote in about 2005 where I felt like I was completely numb to everything. Things have certainly changed. There’ve been high highs, and low lows. Sarah and I chuckle at one of our animated sons, Butters from “South Park,” (And if you know either of us, you can see how that’s our boy….) who was sitting on a curb crying after his girlfriend (a waitress at a place modeled after Hooters) dumped him. Stan was sitting nearby despairing about getting blown out by his new circle of friends. “I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid.”
  • Walked away from a terrible work situation. Here, I’m talking about my last job. I don’t even try to miss it, knowing I won’t be able to. I’m still on decent terms with a few of the people I encountered, but there’s others I hope I never speak to again. Aside from the last two jobs, I’ve never felt that way before. Again, there’s a lot more I could say on this one, but won’t. I was used. I hope the people responsible have memories so short that they can look themselves in the mirror again someday.

I could write for hours about these, but I think I’ve said enough.  The last one is a bit of a cop-out;  I could have written about the sheer volume of whining about the election.  Oh, you’re going to have a peaceful protest?  Yeah, I give that about half an hour.  Also, nobody cares.  The Commonwealth of Virginia supported a loser.  Again.  This has been true many times in the past.  So, too, that I voted for whoever lost.

But I get it.  I’m a bigot because I didn’t vote for the party of historic racism.  Hmmmm…okay.

Feeding My Compulsions

Yesterday, I pretty much wrote my prompts for next month.

Yes, my doctor says it’s a compulsion, but I think it’s okay. I did resist doing it over the summer this year, so that’s a start.

I plucked a few entries from my past I’m going to revisit for this year.

Below is one of them.

One of the things I am surprised by, however, is that some of this stuff isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.

I was in a bad place there for a few years.

Certainly I’d be justified in pointing fingers, but it’s over now.


Describe your most recent doctor visit. I’m specifically looking for the one(s) you see most often.

I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking when I wrote this prompt. Maybe I should have consulted my calendar before i wrote.

My two most-recent visits were with specialists. One to replace the folks likely responsible for my two hospital stays this month. The other was to see what’s going on with something else in my messed-up body.

I guess my most recent medical visit was with my longtime dentist. I’ve been seeing the guy pretty much continuously since I was in high school. My medical issues have definitely included attack on my teeth; he’s been helping keep me sort of functioning. Yesterday’s visit was for a cleaning. I have to get an extra one each year because my disease modifying drug affects my oral bacteria. That said, no cavities!

As for regular medical stuff, I’ve been seen at Ghent Family Medicine at Eastern Virginia Medical School since the day that I had the MRIs that led to my diagnosis.

I should probably write a counter to this lousy Yelp review. They’ve been great for me, especially last year when my oh-so-wonderful Healthcare.gov plan wasn’t accepted by the two specialists I’d been seeing.

Dr. Robert Newman is my primary care physician. He helped find new specialists, including my new neurologist, Dr. Kuczma. I also have to tip my hat to Dr. Thomas Grant, who has looked after me for several years at EVMS.

My last visit was with a resident at EVMS (who I’d link, but I can’t find her bio right now….Dr. Jodi Newcombe). I was there to follow up with them after my second hospitalization, and to get a prescription refilled. She was one of the residents I recommended to my wife after the one she’d been seeing left. My wife ended up with the other one, who’s since left for a fellowship, but she went with me to my last visit with Dr. Newcombe. “I like her!”

I do normally end up seeing a resident when I’m there; that’s what the clinic is for. At the same time, part of the reason I decided to go there is that when I was looking for regular medical care, I had no idea what the fuck was wrong with me. At a medical school, there should always be more than one opinion.

Sometimes, though, I do think the professors take some sick sadistic pleasure in sticking a rookie resident with me.
“Do you have x or y?”
“Yes.”
“Well, which one?!”
“Both. Depends on the hour. Check my record; I have multiple sclerosis.” “Oh.” brow furrow“OHHHHH.”

As I said, I went as a followup after my hospital stay in October.

It was also an opportunity to get my flu shot. I don’t know if there’s some academic group that gives them brownie points for handing them out, but I’ve gotten the flu shot every year since I’ve been going there. Magically, I’ve not gotten the flu. It’s like it works or something.

My wife did get the flu last year, so she got hers on the last trip, too.

But the way the clinic works, you’re seen by a resident, then normally the supervising faculty member, like Grant or Newman, comes in to check over whatever the resident did.

Occasionally, they’ll change things. This past spring, I managed to fall getting off the bus. Validating gravity’s function – it’s one of the things those of us with perpetually-numb feet and vertigo issues do. The resident wanted to send me for a bunch of X-Rays; the faculty supervisor came and checked me out, and decided against it.

Yes, I was sore for a long time, but I’ve recovered. Lasting soreness implies I’m getting old or something.

Monday, I’m going up to see if I might be an appropriate candidate for studies at Georgetown.

I did a study on some thing that didn’t work, previously. This failure pretty much made me swear off serving as a test subject, but I am intrigued by this, and think Georgetown might be one of the places on the East Coast where they might try it. I also have zero reservations about using my own cultured stem cells.

We’ll see how it goes.

Fall Into Fall

I started writing this a few weeks ago, but never got around to completing it.


The last time I wrote, I was complaining about recruiters.

They’ve not stopped. Friday afternoon, after a morning with my counselor (is that what I should call her?), I swa my Tysabri infusion delayed again.

Following that infusion, I was supposed to stop by a former company for a chat. I’d not received a calendar invite, and I was going to have to miss time at work on Monday, so I didn’t dig terribly deep.

That’s rescheduled for later.


Given that I have my next infusion Tuesday, and the reschedule was for five weeks later, I guess I started writing this probably the week after Labor Day. (For anyone reading overseas, Labor Day is the US version of May Day; we don’t really like Socialism, despite what you might hear on the Democratic presidential debates. Heya, hipster Socialists, the state is cancelled.)

Otherwise, November is close at hand, so today I’m starting to gather writing prompts for next month

Yes, I’m going to do that for the tenth year, despite my psychologist’s identification of it as a compulsion.

So much in my life these days revolves around identification of the various “problems” I have. See the bit about the writing compulsion. Oh well.

We are getting very close to moving. I’m excited to be closer in to a city. It’s been too long. I should also respond to a personal email that’s been languishing.

30

I’m finally plunking away at this last one late on the afternoon of the 30th.
It’s been an experience, but I’ve gotten through once again.
Seven years.
Looking back over what I’ve written, though, I’m not terribly upset about what I’ve brought out. Looking back, specifically, at 2012 was probably a good thing for me.
Today at work, I said something about the importance of having someone review my missives. I do sometimes write things that maybe aren’t immediate applicable. During a revision, however, I wonder how much I bury.
I really don’t do that, here. What you see is what you get.
And I got disrupted in writing this. First was this recruiter who looked me up in LinkedIn. It looks interesting. (How many companies do you see on Glassdoor with a 5.0 rating?)
Then a call from my patient advocate who I probably won’t be able to speak with after my health insurance changes next year.
So more changes ahead, probably. Whatever. Things are getting better. Are things as good as they were five years ago? Hard to say, really, but I’m excited.

29

More from 2012.


NoJoMo Day 29 – 11/29/2012


Today, another exercise in frustration. But I’m finished for the day. Interesting episodes of people power-tripping. It is what it is.

1. List 5 people you know, then describe each of them in 5 words.

Perhaps a bit too personal to name names, here, so I won’t. Readers can figure out who these people are…. (And if people can’t figure out who the first one is, I just don’t know what to say…. OD-only hint: none of them is here.)

Person A

  • Smart
  • Beautiful
  • Passionate
  • Love
  • Mine

Person B

  • Smart
  • Food
  • Wine
  • Loyal
  • Closeted?

Person C

  • Clueless
  • Scatterbrained
  • Matronly
  • Faithful
  • Isolated

Person D

  • Uninformed
  • Caring
  • Opinionated
  • Kitties
  • Tired

Person E

  • Done
  • Knowing
  • Guarding
  • Collected
  • Deciding

2. If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to hav seen?

I’ve been kicking this one around for awhile, and am still not sure. First thing that came to mind? Oh, the huge manatee! Even in black and white, the Hindenberg was pretty spectacular.

Katrina? (Since there’s a Saints’ game tonight….) I’ve seen more storms than I’d ever like now, thank you very much. When I was nineteen, would have been a different story.

Mount St. Helens? I haven’t ever really seen a massive volcano. But, maybe in a few weeks, if the Mayans were right, that means the Yellowstone one is going to go off…..

It’s hard to pinpoint a single thing. Even moreso with my failing eyesight, and the realization that something that’s visually-spectacular often has lasting, widespread effects.

Who really saw what was going on during Watergate? Franz Ferdinand getting taken out (apologies if I sparked the earworm; only partially intentional)? Important, but only a small part of the whole story. 9/11? All over the TV when it happened, but the buildings and field were only parts to a larger story; a larger story you can’t see in a :30 clip on YouTube.


Just recycling one of the two prompts….
If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?
Woodrow Wilson’s machinations when it came to crafting the Treaty of Versailles.  What a long-lasting disaster of history.
The US Senate didn’t ratify it, which was probably, in retrospect, a very good thing.  If Wilson was as insidious as the most-recent progressive to hold the office, he would have just gone around the US process to get what he wanted.
I might could rap about this for pages, but today was another long day in another long week.  Today was getting my Tysabri infusion.  Tomorrow is going to be the dentist to get a tooth repaired.
I’m tired.
So tomorrow I’ll wrap up year seven.  Am I proud that I’ve done it?  Well, find out tomorrow.

28

Still touching from years ago, but I’ll skip whatever I wrote for NoJoMo back then. This bit was probably the first real signal that shit was about to turn really bad. How little I knew.


11/28/2012 – 11/28/2012


Pffft.

Made it in to the office today. Foaming disaster with some of the other business, but looks like I may be safe. For now.

On the bright side, I will get a pretty nice bonus this year after watching them dwindle away to nearly nothing the previous three.

Hospital still hasn’t gotten back to me about whether I need to come in to get re-leeched. I’m not sure if I wrote about that, but the doc called me on Thanksgiving, and said I still had problems, to take eight more horsepills.

I did. But I don’t remember if she said she wanted to re-check things. I mean, I was at my in-laws’ for Thanksgiving, ferrchrissakes! At the same time, it’s kind of cool to have young docs excited about dealing with somebody as fucked-up as I am, you know? Experiment.


Reaction and resampling that…..
And a prompt from my list: Do you have a fear that you want to overcome? What is it and do you have a plan to overcome it?
I feel like I’ve written this prompt previously, and I really don’t feel like answering it.  Obviously I’ve had a long list of things the past few years.
I do occasionally have a plan to overcome things, but, really, I tend to take things as they come.
*cut*
Yeah, and I’m repeating what I just said, so this isn’t something I can really devote a lot more to.  Things in life happen.  You can’t plan for everything.  How you respond to those things is, to me, key.
Lots today on Net Neutrality.  I am happy that the FCC is getting rid of rules it didn’t have the legislative authority to implement.  I’m also okay with network providers doing things against NN, like blocking Nazis.  Yes, I may have just Godwined myself, but, well, I like having the freedom to buy Intertubes that’d allow me to avoid content like that.
Or to put it more bluntly, for the Redditers, if you’re big on NN, you like giving theater for Nazis and Kiddie Pr0n.
Enough of that, and I’ve killed my motivation to write more.
The Giants benched Eli Manning, and the Norks fired an ICBM.  Both are signs of other issues.

27

I didn’t have anything set aside today, so I’m going to steal my wife’s prompt.
Anything you are excited about? 
Immediately, my Tysabri infusion Wednesday. I’m fatigued this week. It’s been crazy. But two more infusions for the year. My company hasn’t gotten out its health insurance information for next year, and I’m getting a little antsy about that.
I’m also excited about the Open Diary relaunch.
I suppose, though, things have so haphazard since May that my head is spinning. I am doing positive work at work, again. Unfortunately, I’m being told to do things that are incorrect. But, hey, this is how we’ve always done it, so there’s no way it can be wrong, right?
Lots and lots going on, but I really just want to curl up somewhere with my wife and enjoy the holiday.
Two prompts the next two days with recycling from the last sorta-okay year.

26

Going through some of these is mildly amusing.
Glad to see the picture is still working, here.


NoJoMo Day 26 – 11/26/2012


Rather dull day tying up loose ends at work. Will give it a good 4/5. Much of the work I do might seem like it amounts to mental masturbation, but it’s ultimately important. Why? Because it’s far too easy to spend copious amounts of money just to accommodate someone’s whims.

Essentially, I have to figure out what someone needs to do to finish his job, and ensure he gets tools to accomplish those tasks. What the final product is might not be what he/she imagined, but it’s what he/she needs — for the lowest cost possible.

This is a common graphic used for what I do:

But it’s not completely right, because sales and marketing get the customer to request the thing in the first frame. Isn’t it pretty?

Complicating matters is that many of the “engineers” i deal with are a bit like this guy (pops).

Onto the prompts….

1. Post your favorite recipe.

Five parts dry gin
One part dry vermouth
Ice
Three pitted, stuffed olives.

Pour vermouth over ice in a shaker. Swirl to coat. Add gin. Stir. Strain into cocktail glass, or serve in rocks glass with ice included. Skewer olives. Add to cocktail. Drink. Relax.

2. List 3 things that went right today.

1. Woke up on time.
2. Did some actual work.
3. FRescheduled conflicting doctor’s appointment for next week to a better time.


Post your favorite recipe.
Five years ago I posted a recipe for a gin martini. While I still really appreciate that, finances have really curtailed my imbibement. The maybe one time in the week that I have a cocktail, i’ts normally a Manhattan. One part sweet vermouth, two parts whiskey. A less-than-stellar review. A couple of dashes of bitters, a cherry. Stir with ice, strain, and drink.
Sarah makes a lot of good stuff, but, during the week, I’m eating pretty much whatever my mother wants.
As it gets colder, I’m going to miss some of her cold-weather cooking.
I don’t have many of those to link, unfortunately. I’d probably screw them up if I attempted. My skills have deteriorated.