Author: sarah

There is a lot going on right now and I am in a funk.

So today I wanted to discuss the thought of life being fair.

There is stuff that is going on in my family and it brings up some feelings that I just don’t know how to process.  I should be upset, but I’m not.  I really just don’t care about it.

Then I think of something that happened in the past and it makes me angrier.  The most undeserving people are often the ones who receive the most consideration.  And that just pisses me off to the core.

Until tomorrow…

Bonding with strangers.

One of my sister in law’s coworkers came over for dinner with his wife.  I ended up making fast friends with them by sharing our mutual love of food and cooking.  We even traded Instagram account info, so we can keep up with each other’s culinary adventures.

I swear these will get longer and I will stop waiting until the last minute to write.

I’ve been thinking about something quite a bit lately that I want to get off my chest.  I am very discouraged by people who are dismissive of something another person enjoys, just because they don’t find the same enjoyment from it.
You don’t enjoy sex?  That doesn’t mean someone who does is a whore or a slut.
Don’t like a certain type of food?  Don’t say it’s disgusting and make wretching noises because you see someone else enjoying it.
Don’t like a certain TV show?  Don’t watch it, you don’t need to tell anyone else you don’t like it.
I guess the point of all of this is that, if someone’s life isn’t affecting you personally, why do you feel the need to have an opinion on it?
Until next time…

Well, maybe next time.  I thought if I didn’t receive an offer I would be devastated.  I feel the exact opposite of that right now.  Although I did get a rejection, I was also given feedback about what to improve and I was strongly encouraged to apply again.  So, I have something that they think would be a fit for them, I just need to improve my articulation and be able to explain how my experience in class will translate to the mission at hand for them.
But I have a 4 hour train ride ahead of me, so get comfy because it is going to be a long one.  I would talk about the scenery, but it is December so the sun has set at 4:30.  There is a giant Masonic temple at the Alexandria station.  I always use it as a guiding beacon when I go into the district.  There is graffiti under the bridges and I always enjoy looking at it because the people who create it are talented, even if most would consider it vandalism.  There are cows in Woodbridge (who knew?).
The woman sitting in front of me is on the phone with someone who just lost a loved one.  The flood of “I’m sorries” makes me think about darker Decembers from the past.  It also serves as a reminder that life continues even though we hit bumps in the road.  I know that I am supposed to be in the Northern Virginia area, and I know that whatever I do, I want to support the military or the government in some capacity.  I wish I had known this when I started college nearly 4 years ago, but then I might not have had the experiences that I have had.
I also think that this trip has been a stepping off point for me.  I can do things on my own and live to tell about it.  I did everything to prepare for this trip mostly independent of help from other people (Of course, my BIL and SIL were a big help transporting me, giving me a place to stay, and helping me with my pitch), but I had to be the one to overcome my fear of what-ifs in order to get here in the first place.
(The power lines in the river around Quantico have blinking lights on them.  Not the normal lights, but ones that blink in an inverted V pattern and go faster than the usual ones on top of radio towers.  They are also white instead of red).
Getting back to what I was saying, a few months ago, I wouldn’t have done this.  I would have passed up an opportunity for something that might end up being my dream career because I was unwilling to take risks.  Every important decision I tried to make was a constant barrage of what-if this?, what-if that?, always the negative consequences of something that might happen if I tried.  Well, today I TRIED, I didn’t succeed today from the perspective of going home with a job offer in my hands.  I did succeed in gaining knowledge from my interviewers on what I need to improve and the encouragement to try again.  That was something I had been missing in my job search.
(Also I enjoy looking at people’s IP names. “Gulag’s Guest” was a favorite.)
Still looking forward to being home and having tomato basil soup and grilled cheese.
Then to prep for my interview on Thursday.
P.s. Amtrak’s Wifi is not that great, so don’t hope to accomplish much if you rely on it.

So today is the day before my interview with DIA.  Early start to the morning in order to get the train up to Alexandria, but I made it.  I summoned a Lyft and got to the station with plenty of time to spare.  Then I slept for a good while until I reached my stop.  Now at my SIL and BIL’s place going over what I need to do for tomorrow
SIL is helping me improve my pitch and I think I may actually be able to knock this thing out of the park tomorrow.  Then it is the 4 o’clock train back home.  It sucks that I don’t get any time in the district on this trip, but if all goes well, I will be getting plenty of time up here.