I’ve been thinking about something quite a bit lately that I want to get off my chest. I am very discouraged by people who are dismissive of something another person enjoys, just because they don’t find the same enjoyment from it.
You don’t enjoy sex? That doesn’t mean someone who does is a whore or a slut.
Don’t like a certain type of food? Don’t say it’s disgusting and make wretching noises because you see someone else enjoying it.
Don’t like a certain TV show? Don’t watch it, you don’t need to tell anyone else you don’t like it.
I guess the point of all of this is that, if someone’s life isn’t affecting you personally, why do you feel the need to have an opinion on it?
Until next time…
Well, maybe next time. I thought if I didn’t receive an offer I would be devastated. I feel the exact opposite of that right now. Although I did get a rejection, I was also given feedback about what to improve and I was strongly encouraged to apply again. So, I have something that they think would be a fit for them, I just need to improve my articulation and be able to explain how my experience in class will translate to the mission at hand for them.
But I have a 4 hour train ride ahead of me, so get comfy because it is going to be a long one. I would talk about the scenery, but it is December so the sun has set at 4:30. There is a giant Masonic temple at the Alexandria station. I always use it as a guiding beacon when I go into the district. There is graffiti under the bridges and I always enjoy looking at it because the people who create it are talented, even if most would consider it vandalism. There are cows in Woodbridge (who knew?).
The woman sitting in front of me is on the phone with someone who just lost a loved one. The flood of “I’m sorries” makes me think about darker Decembers from the past. It also serves as a reminder that life continues even though we hit bumps in the road. I know that I am supposed to be in the Northern Virginia area, and I know that whatever I do, I want to support the military or the government in some capacity. I wish I had known this when I started college nearly 4 years ago, but then I might not have had the experiences that I have had.
I also think that this trip has been a stepping off point for me. I can do things on my own and live to tell about it. I did everything to prepare for this trip mostly independent of help from other people (Of course, my BIL and SIL were a big help transporting me, giving me a place to stay, and helping me with my pitch), but I had to be the one to overcome my fear of what-ifs in order to get here in the first place.
(The power lines in the river around Quantico have blinking lights on them. Not the normal lights, but ones that blink in an inverted V pattern and go faster than the usual ones on top of radio towers. They are also white instead of red).
Getting back to what I was saying, a few months ago, I wouldn’t have done this. I would have passed up an opportunity for something that might end up being my dream career because I was unwilling to take risks. Every important decision I tried to make was a constant barrage of what-if this?, what-if that?, always the negative consequences of something that might happen if I tried. Well, today I TRIED, I didn’t succeed today from the perspective of going home with a job offer in my hands. I did succeed in gaining knowledge from my interviewers on what I need to improve and the encouragement to try again. That was something I had been missing in my job search.
(Also I enjoy looking at people’s IP names. “Gulag’s Guest” was a favorite.)
Still looking forward to being home and having tomato basil soup and grilled cheese.
Then to prep for my interview on Thursday.
P.s. Amtrak’s Wifi is not that great, so don’t hope to accomplish much if you rely on it.
So today is the day before my interview with DIA. Early start to the morning in order to get the train up to Alexandria, but I made it. I summoned a Lyft and got to the station with plenty of time to spare. Then I slept for a good while until I reached my stop. Now at my SIL and BIL’s place going over what I need to do for tomorrow
SIL is helping me improve my pitch and I think I may actually be able to knock this thing out of the park tomorrow. Then it is the 4 o’clock train back home. It sucks that I don’t get any time in the district on this trip, but if all goes well, I will be getting plenty of time up here.
What did you get out of a month of writing?
Mostly, I got a lot of stuff off my chest. This was helpful because I don’t need to bottle all of that in me. It also helped me work on my typing speed and just let me express thoughts that I didn’t think I could express in any other way.
I plan on keeping it up, even if I might not put in an entry everyday. I enjoyed writing and am a little surprised that I didn’t forget a day (until today, but I was running around a lot).
In the end, I am happy that I stuck to it and was able to keep at it and make it through.
Until next time…
As the year is coming to an end, any New Year’s resolution plans?
I have a few resolutions that I am going to try and accomplish in the new year.
First, I want to spend less money on frivolous things. I love makeup, but I really need to use what I have and stop adding tons of products every time someone is having a sale. I also need to stop buying groceries just because they look good, even though I have no idea how I am going to use them (although there are websites that will tell you what to make if you give them a list of ingredients).
Second, I want to stop caring so much about other people’s opinions of me. If it is constructive, that is one thing, but constantly telling me that the things I like are stupid, lame, ugly, etc., it doesn’t help me improve myself and it doesn’t improve my view of you either.
Third, I actually want to be serious about getting healthier. I know it is going to be hard to get to where I want to be and it is going to take time, so I need to work on changing bad habits and being impatient about results. I have already made a few small changes (drinking more water and using my FitBit), just have to set a goal and create a plan to achieve it.
Fourth, start working in a career field for my degree. I’m hoping the interview I talked about a few days ago is my path to this one, but if not, I will keep sticking to finding something where I want to be. It will come, I have always been a late bloomer.
I think that is enough for now. These may change but this is what I think at the moment.
What is a favorite hobby?
Other than shopping for makeup, because you know every girl has to have 1,000,000 lipsticks.
Cooking. I LOVE cooking!! Being in the kitchen makes me happy. I love browsing recipes, selecting ingredients, and making a complete dish. The feel of the knife in my hand, the sizzle of the skillet, the aroma in the air as each flavor is developed. Everything about cooking makes me happy (other than our overly sensitive smoke detector, that I have set off 3 or 4 times since we moved here less than a year ago). I also really dislike a glass top stove when I have been used to gas. You can’t blister on a glass top, it just won’t work.
I love trying new ingredients and recipes. It is just very fun to change up from the regular course of food. Before I met my spouse, I was very apprehensive to try new things. Ask him about the time he took me to an Indian restaurant the first time and I was utterly appalled by the entree I ordered until I tasted it, then I was in love. It was Saag Paneer, which if you don’t know is pureed spinach and farmer’s cheese. It looks like wet lawnmower clippings, but it tastes absolutely delicious. Thus began my love of Indian food. So much so that the first time I saw Ghee in a store, I shrieked and my mother thought there was something very wrong with me. Nope, just never thought I’d be able to find that in store.
I also have developed a serious love for the slow cooker. Always thought they were just for old ladies. Yeah, no, not even close. I use mine a couple times a month and will probably use it more now that winter is coming.
I could go on and on, but I’m sure you will get bored after awhile. So, here are some of the favorite recipes that I’ve tried thus far:
- Coq Au Vin
- Beouf Bourguignon
- Chickpea Masala
- Cuban Sandwiches (the pork in this recipe is amazingly simple and DELICIOUS!!)
- A lemon, butter white wine sauce that goes great with fish and potatoes
- Spicy marinara
There are plenty more, but I’m going to make myself something to eat because I’ve made myself hungry 🙂
Anything you are excited about?
I have an interview coming up in a few weeks that could very well be everything I was hoping for to start my career in the financial industry. It would put me in my ideal city (potentially) doing work that would support a cause that I believe in. It would take stress off of my spouse and it would make me feel like I was finally contributing to something, instead of sitting on the sidelines.
Other than that, there isn’t really anything I can think of that I’m excited about.
Do you ever feel conflicted when someone you admire comes under controversy?
Yes, I do. I don’t think that I couldn’t sit and wonder about whether or not it makes me a bad person to listen to Michael Jackson’s music or still enjoy shows with Kevin Spacey in them. They both made mistakes in their lives, but I feel as though I am supporting the art and not necessarily the person behind it. Yes, it is their art, but much more went into it than the deeds they are accused of.
I do still struggle with it though, from time to time. Everyone makes mistakes, but some are just greater than others. But supposedly, time heals all wounds.
Do you prefer to be an educated, opinionated person, to just be an opinionated person?
Yes, I prefer to be an educated, opinionated person. I feel when you are better educated in your argument, you can make a better argument and it is easier for people to understand your point of view, as long as they are willing to learn it.
If there is a person who is dead set in there ways, no amount of facts or logic will help them to see a different way of looking at things. These are the people who “know” things and it drives me absolutely crazy.
They hear from such and such, who is the most credible person ever, and that is the way things are. They don’t need to research because they know that the person knows what they’re talking about and that’s all that matters.
Do you take things too personally?
I do more than I wish I did. There have been certain times in my life when I thought that people were only doing something in order to attack me. I feel less like that nowadays, but there are still times when I wonder if someone is just trying to hurt me, even if it is through a very small, insignificant gesture.
I think we all have times in our lives when we are going through a course of bad luck and therefore, anything that happens to us during that time has to be the work of someone who is purposely trying to get us.
During my time in college, I was unable to get an internship with one of the major accounting firms in the area. Some people close to me started to speculate that someone who I considered a friend was going into these firms and telling them about what a terrible person I was. To me, there are two things that seem very wrong with that theory:
- Have you considered how that would make the person look to the company? Who would really want someone to work for them that comes in with a bad attitude like that and who in an interview immediately starts talking crap about someone? No one, because nobody wants a problem employee.
- How awful of a person must you think I am that people would be so quick and willing to start spreading lies about me?
I think the truth about the internship situation is that I don’t interview well and I learned too late that even low-skilled jobs still count for experience in the professional world because it gives the firms a point of reference as to what they can expect from you.
There is only one firm where I believe I was not given an opportunity because of a vendetta, but that wasn’t from someone in my circle of friends. It was an employee who felt slighted by me for something I was involved in.
I honestly think that nothing opened up for me here because the universe knows that while I love where I live (the city at least, not a particular fan of our building), I really want to be somewhere else. As of now, it looks like things might be moving in the right direction for that to happen in the coming year.