Well, maybe next time. I thought if I didn’t receive an offer I would be devastated. I feel the exact opposite of that right now. Although I did get a rejection, I was also given feedback about what to improve and I was strongly encouraged to apply again. So, I have something that they think would be a fit for them, I just need to improve my articulation and be able to explain how my experience in class will translate to the mission at hand for them.
But I have a 4 hour train ride ahead of me, so get comfy because it is going to be a long one. I would talk about the scenery, but it is December so the sun has set at 4:30. There is a giant Masonic temple at the Alexandria station. I always use it as a guiding beacon when I go into the district. There is graffiti under the bridges and I always enjoy looking at it because the people who create it are talented, even if most would consider it vandalism. There are cows in Woodbridge (who knew?).
The woman sitting in front of me is on the phone with someone who just lost a loved one. The flood of “I’m sorries” makes me think about darker Decembers from the past. It also serves as a reminder that life continues even though we hit bumps in the road. I know that I am supposed to be in the Northern Virginia area, and I know that whatever I do, I want to support the military or the government in some capacity. I wish I had known this when I started college nearly 4 years ago, but then I might not have had the experiences that I have had.
I also think that this trip has been a stepping off point for me. I can do things on my own and live to tell about it. I did everything to prepare for this trip mostly independent of help from other people (Of course, my BIL and SIL were a big help transporting me, giving me a place to stay, and helping me with my pitch), but I had to be the one to overcome my fear of what-ifs in order to get here in the first place.
(The power lines in the river around Quantico have blinking lights on them. Not the normal lights, but ones that blink in an inverted V pattern and go faster than the usual ones on top of radio towers. They are also white instead of red).
Getting back to what I was saying, a few months ago, I wouldn’t have done this. I would have passed up an opportunity for something that might end up being my dream career because I was unwilling to take risks. Every important decision I tried to make was a constant barrage of what-if this?, what-if that?, always the negative consequences of something that might happen if I tried. Well, today I TRIED, I didn’t succeed today from the perspective of going home with a job offer in my hands. I did succeed in gaining knowledge from my interviewers on what I need to improve and the encouragement to try again. That was something I had been missing in my job search.
(Also I enjoy looking at people’s IP names. “Gulag’s Guest” was a favorite.)
Still looking forward to being home and having tomato basil soup and grilled cheese.
Then to prep for my interview on Thursday.
P.s. Amtrak’s Wifi is not that great, so don’t hope to accomplish much if you rely on it.
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