Author: sean

31

.31. Medical procedures. Tell me of them

This prompt I wrote knowing what I’d be doing today. Accordingly, I started writing this from a bed in the infusion center at Norfolk General Hospital.

I’m getting Tysabri this afternoon.

Considering the part of the procedure that would give me the most issue is over, so far this isn’t ranking among the worst.

I’m squeamish. I admit that. I’m getting better, however. I think.

So, with that…..medical procedures.

I’ve never been under general anesthesia. I’m thankful about that.

I’ve had some major dental stuff done. I’ve been in the MRI tube enough that iron sticks all the time.

Like so many things, though, I get told to man up.

But the drug is flowing. And I’m bored. Pfft.

RICO

Not Suave, though.

The certification mafia is racketeering, pure and simple.

That said, I did “pass” my latest compelled purchase (of something I already held).

I am not at all amused by the whole process, or by the various four-letter companies for whom I was previously employed who should have been tracking this.

Aware of what you can’t see

This week is supposed to be about raising awareness of multiple sclerosis.

I really hate that euphemism, “raising awareness.” Is anyone really not aware of cancer? It’s quite possibly going to kill you, eventually. Yes, you are going to die, and chances are it’ll be cancer or cardiovascular disease.

Is anyone really not aware of male pattern baldness? Maybe I give the common man too much credit; I refuse to assume he’s a complete idiot. Makes me a bad nanny-state politician.

The tens of you who read this may or may not be aware that a) there is a condition called multiple sclerosis, and b) I have it.

You would not know I have it just by looking at me. One of the most common things that people say to me, upon hearing that I have it is the dreaded, “you look so good!” At first glance, if you don’t see my often present cane, I do look better physically than I did not terribly long ago. Although I’ve lost some hair, and have more wrinkles, I’m a lot skinnier than I was not terribly long ago.

I probably weigh about what I did when I graduated high school. How many other folks in their mid-thirties can say that? Otherwise, it’s visually tough to tell I’m afflicted — unless you can see my bruised elbows. In addition to the scar I have on my right elbow from a childhood baseball incident (batting left-handed, and took a pitch right to the elbow), I often have bruises on my elbows from various collisions with things in everyday life. I thought about this as I got the shower wall in the other morning..

This article touches on many of them. I’ll run through the ones that affect me the most, then go try to go back to sleep.

Pain
I’m trying to remember the last day when I didn’t have some sort of physical pain, and honestly, cannot. When I was younger, it was largely attributable to overexertion, and poor dental care. Both of those were partially my own damn fault. I worked out too hard. I didn’t go get those wisdom teeth pulled when I should have, etc..

Towards the end of college, I started having the odd body aches nearly every day. I attributed it to living in perpetual jetlag; for years, I lived in both day and night worlds. Student or entrepreneur during the day, radio news guy at night. In 2005, I signed on with a company that allowed me to leave much of that lifestyle behind. but I still ran too hard out of habit.

Fatigue and Sleep Issues
See above. I think the last time I would have been on a somewhat-normal sleep cycle would have been early in college. From about age nineteen to 25, I pretty much existed on various stimulants (caffeine, nicotine, etc.). Four hours of sleep here, two hours there, a 30 minute catnap, etc..

The concept of going to sleep at 2200, and waking at 0600 was completely foreign to me. In many ways, it still is, because I really have trouble sleeping more than a few hours at a time. Even after a few hours’ sleep, I’m not “rested.”

Since diagnosis, I’ve not gotten better with that. The last two years’ employment drama haven’t helped. Right now, I often struggle through a full workday, go back to my mom’s house where I’m staying during the workweek, sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, have dinner, talk to my wife, and try to sleep again until it’s time to head in to the office in the morning. Not fun..

I’ve tried backing off on the stimulants and depressants, but it hasn’t helped all that much.. I’m tired nearly all the time, and that makes my vision worse.

Vision Problems
I have them big time since around the time I was diagnosed. My vision has gotten worse. The last time I went to an opthamologist, I was at about 20/50 combined, corrected. I was correctable to 20/60 in my right eye, and not correctable better than 20/2000 in my left eye. (For reference, not correctable better than 20/200 combined is legally blind.)

My visual decline has been ongoing, but really accelerated the last few years. I don’t see well enough to feel safe to drive a car. I miss lots of things. Reading the ticker on the TV? Yeah, good luck with that. Failing to recognize someone I’ve known for a long time? Guilty.A sensation like I’ve just had a camera flash me all the time? Got that, too.

I could rattle on for pages about my various maladies, but you’d never be able to see them for yourselves. So, how do I raise your awareness? I can’t. All I can do is tell you my story, my situation, and hope you’ll believe me. I know when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have believed me, because I couldn’t experience these things, myself. And, of course, I look so good! *sigh*

Aware of what you can't see

This week is supposed to be about raising awareness of multiple sclerosis.
I really hate that euphemism, “raising awareness.” Is anyone really not aware of cancer? It’s quite possibly going to kill you, eventually. Yes, you are going to die, and chances are it’ll be cancer or cardiovascular disease.
Is anyone really not aware of male pattern baldness? Maybe I give the common man too much credit; I refuse to assume he’s a complete idiot. Makes me a bad nanny-state politician.
The tens of you who read this may or may not be aware that a) there is a condition called multiple sclerosis, and b) I have it.
You would not know I have it just by looking at me. One of the most common things that people say to me, upon hearing that I have it is the dreaded, “you look so good!” At first glance, if you don’t see my often present cane, I do look better physically than I did not terribly long ago. Although I’ve lost some hair, and have more wrinkles, I’m a lot skinnier than I was not terribly long ago.
I probably weigh about what I did when I graduated high school. How many other folks in their mid-thirties can say that? Otherwise, it’s visually tough to tell I’m afflicted — unless you can see my bruised elbows. In addition to the scar I have on my right elbow from a childhood baseball incident (batting left-handed, and took a pitch right to the elbow), I often have bruises on my elbows from various collisions with things in everyday life. I thought about this as I got the shower wall in the other morning..
This article touches on many of them. I’ll run through the ones that affect me the most, then go try to go back to sleep.
Pain
I’m trying to remember the last day when I didn’t have some sort of physical pain, and honestly, cannot. When I was younger, it was largely attributable to overexertion, and poor dental care. Both of those were partially my own damn fault. I worked out too hard. I didn’t go get those wisdom teeth pulled when I should have, etc..
Towards the end of college, I started having the odd body aches nearly every day. I attributed it to living in perpetual jetlag; for years, I lived in both day and night worlds. Student or entrepreneur during the day, radio news guy at night. In 2005, I signed on with a company that allowed me to leave much of that lifestyle behind. but I still ran too hard out of habit.
Fatigue and Sleep Issues
See above. I think the last time I would have been on a somewhat-normal sleep cycle would have been early in college. From about age nineteen to 25, I pretty much existed on various stimulants (caffeine, nicotine, etc.). Four hours of sleep here, two hours there, a 30 minute catnap, etc..
The concept of going to sleep at 2200, and waking at 0600 was completely foreign to me. In many ways, it still is, because I really have trouble sleeping more than a few hours at a time. Even after a few hours’ sleep, I’m not “rested.”
Since diagnosis, I’ve not gotten better with that. The last two years’ employment drama haven’t helped. Right now, I often struggle through a full workday, go back to my mom’s house where I’m staying during the workweek, sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, have dinner, talk to my wife, and try to sleep again until it’s time to head in to the office in the morning. Not fun..
I’ve tried backing off on the stimulants and depressants, but it hasn’t helped all that much.. I’m tired nearly all the time, and that makes my vision worse.
Vision Problems
I have them big time since around the time I was diagnosed. My vision has gotten worse. The last time I went to an opthamologist, I was at about 20/50 combined, corrected. I was correctable to 20/60 in my right eye, and not correctable better than 20/2000 in my left eye. (For reference, not correctable better than 20/200 combined is legally blind.)
My visual decline has been ongoing, but really accelerated the last few years. I don’t see well enough to feel safe to drive a car. I miss lots of things. Reading the ticker on the TV? Yeah, good luck with that. Failing to recognize someone I’ve known for a long time? Guilty.A sensation like I’ve just had a camera flash me all the time? Got that, too.
I could rattle on for pages about my various maladies, but you’d never be able to see them for yourselves. So, how do I raise your awareness? I can’t. All I can do is tell you my story, my situation, and hope you’ll believe me. I know when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have believed me, because I couldn’t experience these things, myself. And, of course, I look so good! *sigh*

Snowy Monday

Today is a Federal holiday (thanks Presidents of the United States), so I don’t have to take leave I don’t have (thanks, MS).

Tomorrow, OTOH, and maybe Wednesday, too, are different stories.

Extra time, bad weather, and a lack of football, have provided me some time to think about a lot of things.

First, does anyone remember Apple’s Think Different campaign, which started around the time of Jobs’ return? To me, the first part of that slogan is important, operative. Maybe I’m old-fashioned that way.

Secondly, I’ve been struggling with the whole concept of “reducing customer confusion.” Somehow, that’s replacing the tired “customer value” in sales pitches. I heard it featured in an ad in a competing industry the other day. It continues in this advertiser’s spots, and it really bothers me.

Why?

I get the impression that “reducing customer confusion” is code for selling-the-customer-expensive-shit-he-doesn’t-want-or-need.

the customer is confused why you’d offer multiple price levels? So, offer fewere, and make sure the remaining offerings are more expensive!

*sigh*

Furthermore, you explicitly refrain from showing the customer what he actually does need, keeping him ignorant. You’re the expert, so whatever you recommend must be right, right?

Desire for simplicity

There’s a lot of days when I wish I could live like a normal human. I’d probably been going too hard, and my body seriously revolted against that a couple of weeks ago. As I’ve tried to get back on an even keel, I’ve struggled getting things right. Obviously, I did something wrong, because I’m out of work again, today, with muscles randomly cramping up.

But, with that, I decided not to subject myself to the unpleasantness that is work today. After the problems I had a few weeks ago, it’s better that I just not risk things when I’m having problems.

So, what to do…. Well, exciting stuff like 401K rollovers. And long for having a NetBSD environment to play around with again. This sums it up pretty well. Since 757.org went to the dark side that is loonix, I’ve been missing it.

Pfft.

What else can I do until I can get home this afternoon?

Shmoocon 2015 from afar part deux

Streamed this, notsomuch because I have a thing for girls named “Sarah,” but because the topic sounded interesting.

I understand where she’s going with her focus on employment subsequent to the programmers’ undergrad studies. Still, I’m a bit skeptical, considering what I’ve seen the past few years.

Because there’s so much broken code out in the wild, managers don’t seem at all interested in actually deploying anything that’d really fix the problems. Whether that reluctance is because change would require documentation rework, or because the application used busted-ass proprietary nonsense in the past is unimportant. “I’ve been doing this a long time.”

Ummhmm.

So much of what I see lately is simply maintenance on fundamentally broken systems; security has to be an afterthought. Nobody understands what it is that the systems or the code they run are supposed to do. Just keep them running exactly as they always have.

Fixing the undergraduate curriculum isn’t going to fix that. I don’t know what will, really.

Shmoocon 2015 from afar

I watched this over the stream.

I find it interesting that location services, even when the user says to turn them off, are often still transmitted. I don’t know that there’s an easy way to fix this if the vendors still allow location data to be transmitted even after the user says to turn it off.

Such a feature would be rather easy for Apple to add to the API, but it’d be up to the folks who police the app store to enforce use of it. It might slow application approval, since someone would have to verify that the application is using the correct faculty, etc..

In the disaster that is Android, there’d be no way of enforcing it. With things that I’ve read that say the spyware infection rate being somewhere north of 70% on Android devices, it might well be impossible.

I understand the paranoia, but I don’t share it. I’m okay with my location being tracked. Maybe when I was young and healthy, I would have cared more about being able to just disappear, but I don’t now.

Secrecy and surprise really don’t afford you that much protection if you’re still a lumbering target. I’ll eschew my normal allusions to football, but they’re very appropriate.

I am not at Shmoocon this year, because I couldn’t get a ticket. I am watching from home via the stream. Do with that what you will.