I woke up, not alarmed (and this is where my scarred Gen X brain goes….), but, um, cross.

I don’t know why, exactly. I really do want something where I don’t have to really do anything for awhile.

I thought that I had a doctor’s appointment first thing today, too, and ended up twiddling my thumbs waiting.

Email to the doc.


Check to see if I got an appointment reminder text message.



So two more weeks until that appointment.


I’ll still be writing then, probably, and can discuss that.

On to the news….

What is this?

The mullahs are probably on-par with the Norks when it comes to doing things that’ll irk the world. It’s a special talent, perhaps.

Completely unrelated. I need to figure out where to order some NFL preview magazines that’s not Amazon.

If anyone has some suggestions about a good place for that, pls2bsending email.

There was something else I was going to blab about, but I’ve forgotten what it was..

So flashback…

Pensive – 7/27/2003

So, I haven’t written much lately, and the short answer as to why is that I really have forgotten how to put it down in a meaningful fashion. It’s just one of those things. Time for inventory……


Well, to be perfectly honest, I’m a little pissed off about the radio station. They do nothing for me, and I work my ass off for them. My boss decided that a problem that had been festering for weeks had to be fixed on Saturday night, so I had to come in and fix it. It was something that could have, of course, waited until Monday, or Thursday, or Friday, but no….I had to come in and do it. Once I was there and into it, my attitude improved somewhat, but I was more than a bit upset about having to be at work on a night when I could have been doing other things (I will talk about this point more down in another section).

I also have this other thing that’s kicking. It’s going to take some money to get started — money I don’t have, of course, but money I will scrimp together somehow. I think we agreed that October 1 was the drop-dead date. So, I have five paychecks between now and then, and I’ll need to save 40% of each one. Yikes. I can and will do it. I might find something to hock, too. Maybe sell one of these computers I’m not using. But this looks like an exciting thing if we can get it off the ground. I certainly stand to make a hell of a lot more money. But considering my current circumstance, that won’t be difficult. If things work properly, I will probably be making three times my salary within the next eighteen months. I think I could learn to deal with that.


I’ve been feeling quite a bit better as of late. I guess maybe it was just a winter funk or something. I still can’t eat like I used to, but I’m able to get out of the house and actually do things. I’m actually feeling better than I was before I left on my trip in June. Because I’ve been feeling better, my confidence is up quite a bit from where it used to be. Not being able to eat has me getting thin again. I’ve lost about twenty pounds since I graduated last May, and about forty since my heaviest, which would have been around Christmas 2000. So, I’m kind of hovering between 185 and 190, which I’d like to try to maintain, perhaps lose a bit more. I still need to start working out again, but I know that’s going to be difficult working essentially two full-time jobs.

Relationship, or lack thereof:

In feeling better and more self-confident, I really wanted to go do something where I could meet some people last night. Of course, I was stuck at work, and couldn’t do that. I finished up my repair job at 2am, just as all the bars were closing, so I couldn’t go in and even grab a quick drink. I am lonely. I don’t see my friends very often. I don’t really have any prospects as far as a relationship goes, and the estrangement from my normal circle of friends does nothing to remedy that situation. True, they weren’t helping much, but they did lead me into situations where I met other people. It’s gotten especially bad since I left college. And of course, it’s just my personality. I leave people alone. I’m not one to strike up a conversation unless I have a damn good reason. Of course, this has its minuses, but it is one of the rules I follow. I could never be a Jehovah’s Witness. So, I’m stuck trying to figure out how to make contact and not disturb, you know? Really and truly, I think that anything that happens to me now or at any time in the future will have to be initated by the other person. I have other things that occupy my thoughts…..and I have to be distracted back into the whole dating thing. Always Mr. Sadie Hawkins. On a more disturbing note, the Bush Administration has this program they’re proposing to encourage unwed mothers to find husbands. While I think the idea is worthwhile, I don’t think it’s the government’s place to be doing that (well, I don’t think government assistance is proper, either, but that’s another story altogether). I also worry that it’s going to send the horde of single moms after me. sigh

So, that’s about the sum of things right now. And this is the longest entry I’ve written in a long time. But writing takes time, and I haven’t had much lately.