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I didn’t have anything set aside today, so I’m going to steal my wife’s prompt.
Anything you are excited about? 
Immediately, my Tysabri infusion Wednesday. I’m fatigued this week. It’s been crazy. But two more infusions for the year. My company hasn’t gotten out its health insurance information for next year, and I’m getting a little antsy about that.
I’m also excited about the Open Diary relaunch.
I suppose, though, things have so haphazard since May that my head is spinning. I am doing positive work at work, again. Unfortunately, I’m being told to do things that are incorrect. But, hey, this is how we’ve always done it, so there’s no way it can be wrong, right?
Lots and lots going on, but I really just want to curl up somewhere with my wife and enjoy the holiday.
Two prompts the next two days with recycling from the last sorta-okay year.

So, I did get some of the recycling done.  Let’s look again at what I did in 2012.  Somewhat appropriate considering my music choice as I’m reviewing.  If you care.

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NoJoMo Day 9 – 11/9/2012

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Both. Again.

1. What is the most ironic thing that has ever happened to you?

Well, I’ve gotten a free ride on the streetcar when I had a pass that was good for that day. But it didn’t rain on my wedding day.

2. Who is or has been the most influential person in your life and why?

You know, I honestly don’t have an answer to that question at this point. My parents, my dad especially, shaped lots of things in my life. But I appreciate that I’ve been allowed to find my own way on many things….

Maybe I can write about certain individuals who helped me gather a few important things?

My high school football coaches, and my Army JROTC instructors helped me with punctuality. Being late as a broadcaster is a Bad Thing (TM). In all my years in radio, I think I was unexpectedly late for work maybe three times. Since then, I’m worse. I’ve been late for work a few times since I left radio.

Only once did I really feel like it was something for which there was no good excuse. I forgot to set my alarm, and just overslept.

Of course, there’s other things where I was influenced by things I’ve read. Not many of those are were case studies in how not to be “That Guy.” I am not “That Guy.”

At work, I don’t suffer fools with much grace these days. There is a problem with that, however: much of what I consider foolishness is also considered “tradition.” So, you’ve done this task this one way for fifteen years.

Give me a minute. I might find the fuck I’m not giving. Just because you’ve always done something one way doesn’t mean it’s eternally the right way

At the same time, I’m open to hearing a compelling argument. Even if I’m initially skeptical about something, you might be able to convince me.

Now I’m doing a really lousy job answering the prompts. Somehow, this feels familiar. Doing things strictly by the prompts normally doesn’t work out completely right <u>for me</u>.

If you’re not okay with me trying to find the best way to do something, don’t ask for my help….

But that’s about all I have for today. I’m spent. More tomorrow.

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What is the most ironic thing that has ever happened to you?
My response before was pretty flippant.  I still don’t know if there’s anything terribly ironic that’s happened to me.  Maybe my medical condition will lead to financial success someday.  Who knows?
Who is or has been the most influential person in your life and why?
My wife.  She’s stuck with me through all of the travails over the past few years.  I do do some things differently because of her.  I think of her take with pretty much any decision I make.  (I say that because, well, she’s really not a consideration when I go to fill my coffee cup at work….)
My dad would be in there, and I don’t know why I didn’t write about the things I do where what he taught me influenced what I do now.  Those others that I mentioned are still very important, but it’s very difficult nowadays.   I don’t have the freedom that I used to on account of whatever my body is deciding to do at any point.
I apologize that I still don’t have good responses on a lot of these.  I really have more pressing things on my mind today.
On the bright side, though, my project is coming along. Unveiling next week sometime.

Today’s key? Traceability. If you call me on something, and I make an assertion, rest assured I will back it up.
Recycling more……

NoJoMo Day 4 – 11/4/2012

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Since I don’t have a tome for either, I’ll try to address both writing prompts. Instead of an extra hour of sleep, I’ll attempt an extra few minutes of writing.

1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?

At this point, normalcy. It’s very absent for anyone with somewhat fragile health. I have my soulmate. I had professional potential (though I have my doubts about it since my vision started going). The routines in life, however, are gone — possibly forever. I can’t know on a day-to-day basis how I’m going to feel, whether I’ll be up to whatever I have planned.

That’s put a strain on many other relationships I had. My wife is understanding; she sees what’s going on. Others don’t. But I don’t look sick! Yeah, and you don’t look stupid; looks can be deceiving.

I don’t feel comfortable around other family members for other reasons, too. There’s been a lot of bereavement in the past few years. Nothing, other than this little apartment with my wife, feels like “home.” When we stayed with my mom last year during Irene, it just felt strange. Visiting my grandfather and uncle after my dad died felt strange.

Thanksgiving with her parents will be a bit more comfortable (I am starting to feel a bit more at home at her parents’ place…..it has taken six years, but….), but I’ll be worried about what my mom is doing.

2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs.

Uhhh…..<b>I have MS</b>. I have lots of “strange” things. Some of them aren’t terribly noticable if you’re not paying attention. My left foot doesn’t point straight ahead. My gait is weird. I can’t run at all. My eyes do weird dances. Restless Leg Syndrome? Uh, no. But I do have similar twitches.

I also have “angry hands.” I do do this thing where I interlace my fingers when I’m frustrated with something.<hr>
*yawn*
Yeah, time to post up, and try to sleep. Aint’s aren’t until Monday night. But watching Eli Manning beat the Falcons will suffice.

1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
Last time, I said, “normalcy.”  If I’d known then what I know now, I don’t know that I would have wished for something different, really.  I was completely consumed with my health, not taking into account that on some of the important parts of life, I did have normalcy.
Now, though, I’m aiming to get back to where I was then, financially.  I’m still earning less money than I did then.  I’m not at all secure, financially.  At the same time, what I’m ready for is something new and satisfying.  What I’m doing now is somewhat related to one of my stops in the intervening years.  But it still is a fucking cesspool  Though my main problem before is gone, his mentality pervades.
It takes time to win hearts and minds;  will I be able to do it?  Do I have the stamina?
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs
Since the last time, I’ve started carrying a cane.  I really have problems going down stairs, as my balance is wonky, and I can’t feel my feet.  I also need to tilt my head to the right in order to be able to walk in a straight line.  The angry hands have subsided a lot.  A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I often have my hands above my head to stretch my diaphragm.

What I wrote in 2012:
NoJoMo Day 1 – 11/1/2012
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Writing Prompt: What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?

Have spent a lot of time considering what I should choose for this; I don’t focus much on past accomplishments. Not terribly long ago, I was complaining about the Captain Philip Francis Queeg school of management. Queeg, of course, spent his entire career trying to recreate his few moments of adequacy. I try hard to avoid that.

My focus, professionally, is creating a workable solution at a low cost. Sometimes finding that solution requires setting aside what you’ve done in the past, and re-examining everything.

Getting married has definitely affected my evaluation criteria. Things I would have taken pride in as a single dude really aren’t important anymore. Woohoo! I drank an entire six pack in one sitting! Big fucking deal to most frat boys. My wife, however, would be disgusted by that behavior.

So, since I can’t isolate a single thing, I’ll just throw some things out of which I’m proud:

1. That I married someone who might possibly be my perfect partner.
2. That I’ve yet to miss a dose of any of my MS meds, now more than two years’ into taking them.
3. That I am dedicated to work, despite more than ample reason not to be.
4. My service to others. Some of it is kind of thankless, but…. The vast majority of it’s been without compensation. Is it satisfying when something I put together is still functional years after its expected demise? You bet. As far as I know, there’s systems in use at former jobs. My old company, whose name I will not mention, is still selling things I designed. Something I put together now almost seven years ago is still chugging along. And so on.
4. That I surpassed the 2,000 entry mark, and didn’t even notice it.
5. That I’ve been responsible elsewhere in my life last few years. I was reckless when I was younger. I admit that now. Yes, being sick has sapped my reckless abandon on some things, but I’d started down that path before I knew I was sick.
6. Forgiveness. I’ve gotten better about it. Those who’ve harmed me may not be as dear as they once were, but I’m still civil. When I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have been.

So, is there a lot to point to, there? Yes. Is there a “crowning achievement?” No. (Though number one comes awfully damn close…..I still haven’t figured out how I pulled that one off while still being myself….) I’m okay with that.

I did delete the comments.  Now again….
What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?
I could go a lot of different ways on this one, but I don’t know if there’s really anything that’s that remarkable.
As I said earlier this month during a rant about the previous generation, yes, you’re unique, but you’re not that remarkable/special.
The same is true of me.
The Kids In The Hall used to have a character who’d be dropped in to various sketches. The interaction was inevitably along the lines of,
“Who are you?”
“Just a guy.”
I am important to some people who love me.
To everybody else, though, I’m just some guy.
I can’t tell you how foreign this seems to be.
People are fungible.
This past weekend, I was watching on eof hte NFL pregame shows. Amy Trask, the former president of the Oakland Raiders, was talking about a discussion Al Davis had with Bill Walsh about holding on to players after they’d outlived their usefulness.
mr. Davis was very loyal to his guys. Walsh notsomuch, unless you’re Steve Young.
Is either way better? I don’t know. Both had three Super Bowl rings.
Who is remembered more fondly?
I don’t know, and I really don’t care to think about it.. Each is admirable in his own way.
I guess that I split the difference, really, though.
Yes, you’re loyal, but if someone can’t do what you need them to do anymore, be honest about it and move on.
(and here’s where my Gen X side comes out, and Nada Surf’s “Popular” floats through my scarred brain….)
So, back to the prompt……what have I accomplished?
There’s not just one thing. I think I’m a good husband. I think my loyalties are in the right place. I’m not terribly embarrassed by anything I’ve done; maybe that’s why I don’t focus on the things that have gone well.
So, not a lot of changes in five years, really.  I’m not good at tooting my own horn.

Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?

Day 7 – 11/7/2012

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Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
Yes. Because I really don’t need them after I’m dead; what do I care?
Whether there’d be much to salvage from my diseased body is a different story, altogether.

So, more 2012 recycling….
You see what I wrote above, so again….
Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
I don’t know? I don’t have a driver’s license anymore, so I don’t think I had to answer the question about the organ donor bit.
Would anyone want my bone marrow with the various maladies I’ve developed, the abuse to which I’ve subjected my body? I don’t know.
It’s incredible how heavy these questions seemed back then. Today, who really cares? By and large, anything that’s in my body can be used by whoever needs it.
I have told my wife that I would like whatever’s left of me to be fired into the sun. If they haven’t figured out the process when it happens, cremation works.
I hope that I’ll find motivation to do a few more in-advance prompts tonight/tomorrow. I’ll probably spill my Thanksgiving plans Monday, then write about how it went on Friday.

Today was supposed to be free writing. I did do a bit, but really hadn’t finished.
When I started preparting to write this year, I started through my archives, looking for writing ideas.
I think I was looking for NoJoMo 2012, which was the next-to-last one I did on The Open Diary.
Yes, there was a 2013 there, too, but I think I’ve sampled from that one before.
I don’t know. I should have written my prompts ahead of time. Things were crazy in October, though, nad I’m just so spent by the end of the week, that I can’t bring myself to dedicate
So, stuff I’m recycling from 2012.
What has been your biggest accomplishment in your life so far?
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs

Are you listed as an organ or bone marrow donor? Why or why not?
There will be more, but it’s been a very long day, and I’m having trouble focusing.