^H

Did not make it in to the office again today. Not that that’s a big thing, but…..

Sounds like things are going on that point back to the fact that people just aren’t learning from previous mistakes. Per my nonsense yesterday, the first drawing — these folks were trying to make a choice based on seat paint colors. The blue one is so damn pretty, how can anyone disagree if we say, technically, that it’s the best because it’s blue?

One of the asides I frequently toss out is that the color of the equipment (which for IT gear often denotes the manufacturer) doesn’t speak to its quality. Buh buh buh but, “Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM!!!1” Good luck with that.

So, I’m planning to go tomorrow. We’ll see what happens. I do need to get in sometime the next couple of days at least.

1. What are you zealous about?

Other than that vodak has no place in a Martini?

I really don’t know. I’m not really a zealous person about much of anything. Are there things I’ve made my mind up about? Sure. But what works for me may not work for everybody else. Do I have preferences one way or another? On many things, certainly.

2. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?

My eyesight back. I’d be so much better off if I could recover at least some of what I’ve lost.

I really ought to finaly create a favico.ico for this thing. But I’m lazy, and, well, my blog sucks.

Rather dull day tying up loose ends at work. Will give it a good 4/5. Much of the work I do might seem like it amounts to mental masturbation, but it’s ultimately important. Why? Because it’s far too easy to spend copious amounts of money just to accommodate someone’s whims.

Essentially, I have to figure out what someone needs to do to finish his job, and ensure he gets tools to accomplish those tasks. What the final product is might not be what he/she imagined, but it’s what he/she needs — for the lowest cost possible.

This is a common graphic used for what I do:

But it’s not completely right, because sales and marketing get the customer to request the thing in the first frame. Isn’t it pretty?

Complicating matters is that many of the “engineers” i deal with are a bit like this guy (pops).

Onto the prompts….

1. Post your favorite recipe.

Five parts dry gin
One part dry vermouth
Ice
Three pitted, stuffed olives.

Pour vermouth over ice in a shaker. Swirl to coat. Add gin. Stir. Strain into cocktail glass, or serve in rocks glass with ice included. Skewer olives. Add to cocktail. Drink. Relax.

2. List 3 things that went right today.

1. Woke up on time.
2. Did some actual work.
3. FRescheduled conflicting doctor’s appointment for next week to a better time.

Someone reminded me that I did kind of short-arm the second prompt last night. This is true; it sucked. Forgive me. I was tired, itchy from the cat that’s staying with my mom right now, etc. (A younger me would have responded with an enthusiastic, “fuck you!” But that was before the new, kinder, gentler me.)

So, odd possession I have, and how I got it…..

I have at least two NeXTstation workstations. But only one keyboard, mouse, and monitor. That monitor is on its last legs, too. Plus the SCSI drive in one is nearly shot. How’d I acquire them? One I bought for myself. Another, a friend sent. Really, though, they’re little more than curiosities at this point. There’s not a lot you can do with them.

But onto today’s prompts, then shower, football…..

1. Do you adapt easily to foreign or strange situations or places? Or do you struggle to feel comfortable?

I was going to answer this in the affirmative, but that’s not true anymore. I’m more uncomfortable than ever. Am I going to do something that embarrasses me? Is there going to be a situation where someone acts with shock at how little vision I have? Am I going to trip, fall, and die? Is this the day when I finally lose control, emotionally?

2. Do you have any strange fears?

Not really. Coronal Mass Ejection. I imagine one frying Earth around 0615 Eastern. Most of the US and Canada will still be asleep. Quite a few will just be having first cup of coffee. Do the local news folks have time to get that breaking news on the air in the about five minutes’ notice they’d have?

Wallybert Proto reminded me that my blog sucks. Duh. Yeah, so was at my mom’s for belated Thanksgiving dinner. It went. Whatever. I’ll write more tomorrow.

1. What was the last thing that gave you a sense of wonder?

I honestly don’t know. With limited vision, it’s tough to get wonderment, you know?

2. Name a totally useless possession and how you came to own it.

There are many. I probably ought to pick one, no?

Thanksgiving went pretty well. Ugh. Today’s been spent doing things around the house, and recording my intake and output in preparation for my invasive procedure in a couple of weeks. *sigh*

I tried to start on this early this morning, but didn’t get very far. Lots of reasons for that, but Imainly fighting with Loonix. ATI HDMI audio is a royal pain in the ass. I gave up, went back to the onboard analog shit…..and as soon as I plugged it in to the TV, no sound. Fuck. Whatever. Things seem to be working better than with that antiquated laptop I’d been using. I can fiddle with it

1. What are your vices?

The normal stuff; alcohol, caffeine, meth, opiates, nicotine, gambling.

Some of those aren’t true. Decide for yourself which ones.

2. “The most disappointed I’ve ever been…”

You know, I honestly don’t know nowadays. I try not to focus on failures, you know? Especially now, Going to meet with criminal investigators about someone ranks right up there….

Start this one off with a “Happy Thanksgiving.” I am looking forward to the downtime, here, honestly. Trying to be as optimistic as I can be about a lot of things, but the more I see of what’s going on, the more it’s clear to me that people don’t really want to change any of the foolish things they’re doing; the more unwilling they are to attempt something truly new.

All that said, I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, so I’m resolving to be in a good mood today. Well, at least until I have to take my damn Rebif.

1. What are you thankful for?

Having the most wonderful partner in the world. Being ambulatory. Being still able to find new ways to attack challenges.

2. Close your eyes and imagine the kind of world you would like to see. What is it like?

I’m really bad about utopian vision. I’m even worse about dystopian vision. Or any vision. But, bigger than that, I really don’t believe in much of anything having a detailed plan. It’s really better that way; too many people get caught up in the ultimately unimportant details.

And this is why you can buy whole turkey breasts at the supermarket, just so the finicky people can be sure to not get any dark meat…….

Tomorrow is the fiftieth anniversary of JFK’s assassination. Waiting to see how TV news plays it just like everybody remembers it. You know, how they did when we hit the 50th anniversary of “The Day The Music Died.” Newsflash: The POTUS was a baby. I wasn’t born. My parents were in elementary school.

If it sounds like I’m dawdling, I am. I have to go get blood taken. Great way to start the weekend, dontchathink?

So, what’s going on for Thanksgiving? Headed to the inlaws’ tomorrow. My brother and his wife are coming down this weekend, so I guess we’ll go have dinner with my mom on Saturday. I have no idea what she’s actually planning to do tomorrow. Did I not ask on purpose? Well, no. But…

I have training in a couple of weeks, meaning I have to go in to the office. Pfffft. And the first day of it, I have to leave early, because they’re going to shove all sorts of things into exit-only places (both of ’em…at the same time). I’m pumped, right?

So, on to the prompts, then off to the leeching.

1. What makes you unique?

DNA.

2. What is your very favorite meal and/or drink?

You know, I honestly don’t know at this point. I’ve been trying to use my pallate more while I still have use of it. (Yes, this damn disease might eventually take my senses of smell and taste….) I notice things more than I used to. Some of that is training, probably.

It’s sort of amusing watching the cooking shows, with their focus on presentation. Isn’t that irrelevant after the first couple of bites? Though I do appreciate the pastry folks’ work; I am certainly not skilled enough to make anything look pretty. See: a really bad birthday cake I made for my wife. But it tasted good.

Writing on this mainly to keep it up. I am very unsatisfied right now. About a lot of things. But I’m not in a position to do anything about any of them, really. Still kind of disturbed by the election reactions; 2012 was a vote against change, responsibility. I think it’s important to see that aspect of it…..

Ten more days. Less than two until the Thanksgiving nonsense starts. I’m ready for my break. And I’m also ready to give my wife her gifts, which may or may not be arriving already……

1. Who was (or is!) your favorite teacher? Why were they your favorite.

High school? Mrs. H. College: Hon. LL., Sen Q., Dr. C.

Some others had an effect on me, but I shan’t mention them.

2. How would you describe yourself? How would your best friend describe you?

Does this really matter all that much?
Me:

• Practical
• Caring
• Struggling
• Half-blind
• Wobbly
• Placated

Others:

• Egalitarian
• Not sick
• Drunk
• Difficult

But back to the question I asked; to me, it doesn’t matter so long as my wife still loves me, and I don’t hate myself. In the last few years, some people I’ve thought were good friends have revealed themselves to be something else. Others have drifted into their own special worlds (some slightly off). Others, still, have just ignored everything that’s been going on with me. *makes W sign with fingers* It happens. I’m mostly content with my circles now.

Actually, you know what, I’m really content with my circles now. Why? I don’t have to hide things anymore. I have approval from the people whose opinions I care about. How have I done that? Being me, flaws and all…..

Kind of in a reflective mood today, but it comes back to one simple truth — it’s impossible to reason with someone who believes he has the prescriptions for all of life’s problems. Sadly, there’s no remedy for it, and selection or election of these people makes them even more insufferable.

There’s things going on that you can’t even start to understand; how, exactly, is your prescription going to work? I know. Faith. And if I can show how your preconceptions backing your conclusions are wrong? Yeah, we won’t discuss that. You’re right, and who am I to question that? Gaia is on your side.

If that was more than a little obtuse, so be it. I’ll know, should I ever go back and re-read this, what I was upset about. On to the prompts……

1. Do you believe in soul mates? If so, do you believe we each have just one soul mate?

Can I answer this one with a firm, “I don’t know?” Because, honestly, I don’t know. Are there connections between people that sometimes extend beyond……yes. Do I have one? Yeah. Can I explain it? No. Is it just one person? Probably.

2. What would you do if you could live a day without consequences?

After two chicks at the same time? Nothing. Then gluttony in various ways. But, mostly nothing. I really don’t have anything to do or say at this point, and consequences never really can go away.

The science behind the consequences doesn’t go away. So what do I do? Go be intentionally rude for my own enjoyment? Is the enjoyment I’d experience from that from the act, or from the consequence of that act? I’m running out of reasons to do much of anything if there aren’t consequences……

So, writing at before 0600 on Sunday morning. Why? Because I had a dream that somebody was coming with a delivery, and I needed to sign.

On early Sunday morning. Yeah, I’ve got some mental issues, maybe. Still better than the weirdness that woke me up yesterday, which involved Gangnam Style. Issues.

So, on to the prompts before I fall back asleep, because, uh…there’s no delivery coming.

1. Are you a risk-taker?Do you weigh the pros and cons or jump right in?
Short answers: “No. Depends.” Longer answers: “I’m actually pretty risk-averse when you get right down to it. Living with my physical limitations kind of demands that. Have I done things that might get me hurt, fired, arrested? Sure. Are there a lot that come immediately to mind? No.”
Those said, considering what you see on TV this time of year, the Internets all year long, etc., I marvel at the paranoia I see. People don’t understand probabilities at all, jump to conclusions. With medical issues, it gets worse. Next on The Doctors, “Is my hangnail due to the chicken I ate in 1987?”

2. “The most terrifying moment of my life was…”
You know, I’m really having trouble with this one. Why? Because the things that are coming to mind weren’t actually terrifying until I thought about it after I was away, safe. Some of those where you say, “wow, that could have ended really badly.” Maybe I’ve been lucky. Who knows? But I do know that because I’m acutely aware of my limitations now, I’m more cautious; it’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those moments.