Four

Write about someone you’ve recently lost.

Writing with what I remember of the prompt as pretty much of our Intertur]bes (and TV) is out.

I was supposed to write about someone I’d recently lost.

Today is my grandfather’s birthday. He’s the only one of my grandparents still living.

It also would have been my dad’s youngest brother’s birthday. He died a few weeks ago following several years of health problems.

I didn’t know him terribly well. Same goes for a lot of my parents’ siblings; we were gone. I don’t feel deprived by that or anything. It was part of what happened with my dad’s job.

Sure. I had an idealized view of where my parents grew up, but the more I’ve learned, the more I understand why they never really wanted to go back.

Things weren’t good along the Gulf Coast for a very long time. I couldn’t comprehend the pervasive poverty.

So, what do I know about my uncle? He was a little more than nine years my dad’s junior. My dad’s two younger brothers were born after my grandparents reconciled (I’m not sure if they divorced, but I’m pretty sure they did.) So, in my parents’ wedding photos, he was a pre-teen.

He never ended up with much of a career, and lived with my grandmother until she died. He ended up taking care of her in her final years, actually.

He worked for many years as an Interstate trucker. After Hurricane Katrina, he started doing glasswork for damaged historic buildings.

Not long before my dad died (end of 2010), he had a very serious heart attack, preventing him from doing very much after that. He was trying to do some college work. I think, however, his health prevented him from ever finishing his degree.

Over the last few years, he was very sickly. When my wife and I saw him last, it was basically just him and his cats around my grandmother’s significantly-renovated house.

He died a few weeks ago. I couldn’t go down for the funeral, and haven’t heard much else. Kind of odd to ask family you haven’t seen in awhile about more.

And that’s about what I’d written when my Intertubes quit working.  I didn’t really nail the prompt now that I look at it.  As a kid, it was kind of a question of what’s he driving right now?  He always seemed to have a different car, and be driving a different truck for work.

Three

Collections and Cars. Write about any collections you have, and the cars you’ve owned.

Three years of earning virtually no money has significantly cut my collections.  I simply don’t have the resources to do that sort of thing anymore.

When I was a kid, I collected baseball and football cards.  There’s a Brett Favre rookie card somewhere at my mom’s house. Yes, it’s strange seeing him in a Failcons helmet.

I bought that card at a show on one of the posts in Germany.  Hanau, maybe?  He’d just taken over the job with the Peckers, and I’m a double-legacy at Southern Landmass, so I thought it was kinda cool.  But I was also thirteen, and it was 1993.  The ideas of what was cool were a bit off.

Cars.  I don’t currently own one;  I’m too blind to drive.  I sold my last one, a 2003 Mustang GT at the end of 2013.  The proceeds largely went to support me and my wife after I’d gotten laid off for the second time in a year.

Similarly, the proceeds from the sale of my 2001 Jeep Wrangler were largely used after I got laid off in 2013.  The Wrangler didn’t net me very much;  it had something like 260,000 miles on it when I sold it.  Original clutch.  How I managed that is completely beyond me.

I sold my 1992 Wrangler back to my dad for a dollar.  He sold it to a nearby used car dealership.  I think it had something like 180,000 miles on it.

I never had a car with an automatic transmission.

Living in Tidewater without a car is very difficult.  Thankfully, I am afforded telecommute opportunities in my current position. Getting to my work site via public transit is possible, but it takes a long time, and requires two transfers.  It aslo takes about an hour and a half if I hit the schedules just right.

I don’t really know what else I can say, other than the idea of living an an exburb holds no appeal for me these days.

My mother sometimes speaks fo “living off the land.”  How about no?  Not something that ever really held much appeal for me, and even less as I’ve aged.  Not being able to drive has compounded it.

I rahter like indoor plumbing and hot water.  Maybe that makes me a bad person.

Two

My day as a goth kid. (Yes, my wife is planning on doing this to me.)

My wife has decided that I need to be her Goth Boy.

It hasn’t happened.  Yet?  She’s been really busy with school.

She can dress me up however she’d like, though.  I won’t return the favor;  she can dress as she pleases.

So, if wearing a dog collar for a few hours will make her smile, fine.  So long as I don’t have to look like Aaron Rodgers, Goth QB, or the kid in the Mom’s Minivan demotivator poster.

On a similar, but unrelated note, I’m getting skinnier again.

I lost about 60 points after I got sick.  For the most part, I’ve kept it off.  I think I’m probably about ten pounds more than I was at my lightest.

But after this latest hospitalization, I’ve noticed things aren’t fitting again.  My pants.  My wedding ring.

In other words, Thanksgiving can’t get here soon enough, if only to fatten me up a bit.

So, what else is up?  Paratransit Services screwed up royally again this morning.

I’m tired.  I hope I’ll be up for this thing I’m attending on Friday.

Also, do I have the stamina or desire to watch the last World Series game tonight?

On the brighter side, I was able to get things setup for my trip to Georgetown School of Medicine.

I’m very tempted to fire all my specialists in the wake of two hospitalizations within a month, plus now a problem with one of my prescriptions.

Good shit.

One

Introduction. Why I’m doing this for a sixth year.

So, as I fired up EMACS to start writing, I had a 1.txt in my $HOME.

Umm.

Yeah, it was something I’d written long ago; probably in college. How it got there, I don’t know. Maybe something from one of my summer writing bits.

I do enjoy writing. How proficient I am at it is up for debate.

So, to the basics.
I’m 37 years old. Married. Work in Information Technology for the US Federal Government. I’m now well into my sixth year after being diagnosed wtih Multiple Sclerosis.

This is my sixth year doing this. I started on my Diary on the now-defunct OpenDiary (OD) site.

So, what’s kept me doing this year after year?

There’s something about having something to do every single day. When OD was up, I’d often use the prepackaged prompts. As I’ve been writing on my own, I’ve taken to either creating my own prompts or recycling things from previous efforts. (Back to the odd textfile in my $HOME.)

There’s also a bit of a sense of accomplishment in finishing a month. The last couple of years, I’ve done a second stint in the month before my birthday. Is it a countdown? No, not really. Neither is November; if it was, I’d be doing it in the lead-up to Thanksgiving or Chrsitmas.

I’m not doing that, however.

The past few years have been exceptionally difficult. I’m going to try to avoid writing too much about that. On top of my myriad health problems, I’ve seen a marked decline in income. (Checking my SSA statement shows that I’ll be lucky to get back to my 2012 earnings next year.) I’m not going to write terribly much about that; those who need to know do, those who want to know can buy me a beer, and I’ll tell. I’ve been writing a lot lately, in conversation with a friend, about bits of administrivia. There’s a big portion of that discussion that’s been about management. Meanwhile, I’ve also been listening to the Reason Podcast, where they’re discussing a lot of similar issues.

There is no One-True-Way(TM) for just about anything.

Eventually, you have to find your own way to do things. Maybe you’ve been previously inspired by someone or something, but your situation is yours.

Similarly, this effort is something that works for me. I’ll be doing it my way. If you like it, great. If not, that’s fine, too.

So, who am I?  A dude trying to help out the best way I can.  Professionally, I need to keep my irritants from negatively affecting others’ impressions of me.  Having me on your team is a good thing.  Now how do I convince people of that?  (And some of the folks who’ve beautify-illustrated their prowess at taking multiple choice tests by taking certification tests might just be completely worthless.)

2016 Prompts

Prompts (final)

Oct. 31, 2016, 5:51 p.m.

  1. Introduction. Why I’m doing this for a sixth year.
  2. My day as a goth kid. (Yes, my wife is planning on doing this to me.)
  3. Collections and Cars.  Write about any collections you have, and the cars you’ve owned.
  4. Write about someone you’ve recently lost.
  5. Write about your siblings. How many? Where are they? What do they do? Do you get along better now than you did when you were kids?
  6. I’m writing about Football.
  7. Write about your parents.
  8. Election Day. Write about your votes.
  9. MOvember.  Write about facial hair.
  10. Armistice Day. I’m going to write about the war Tom Brikaw forgets.
  11. Are you satisfied with the results from yesterday?
  12. Describe your most recent doctor visit. I’m specifically looking for the one(s) you see most often.
  13. Nervousness. Write about what last made you really nervous.
  14. On Being Sick
  15. Find something you wrote five years ago, and tell how things are different
  16. I’m going to write about my trip to be examined for use as a Guniea Pig for research on my condition.
  17. Recap of the trip to DC.
  18. Write about three things you did for the first time in the past year.
  19. Recap of your year month-by-month.
  20. What did you want to be when you grew up?  What are you, actually?
  21. Write about something you’ve had to re-learn.
  22. Write about your recycling habits..
  23. What are your plans for tomorrow, since it’s turkey day in the U
  24. Free Write.
  25. How was turkey day for you. If you’re celebrating on a different day, please elaborate (like my friends in Soviet Canuckistan).
  26. What is your favorite food?  (H/T to someone on PB)
  27. Small Business Saturday.  Write about small businesses you frequent.
  28. Free Write.
  29. What are your holiday plans for Christmas?
  30. Recap, reaction.

One

Nov. 1, 2016, 4:47 p.m.

Introduction. Why I’m doing this for a sixth year.

So, as I fired up EMACS to start writing, I had a 1.txt in my $HOME.

Umm.

Yeah, it was something I’d written long ago; probably in college. How it got there, I don’t know. Maybe something from one of my summer writing bits.

I do enjoy writing. How proficient I am at it is up for debate.

So, to the basics.
I’m 37 years old. Married. Work in Information Technology for the US Federal Government. I’m now well into my sixth year after being diagnosed wtih Multiple Sclerosis.

This is my sixth year doing this. I started on my Diary on the now-defunct OpenDiary (OD) site.

So, what’s kept me doing this year after year?

There’s something about having something to do every single day. When OD was up, I’d often use the prepackaged prompts. As I’ve been writing on my own, I’ve taken to either creating my own prompts or recycling things from previous efforts. (Back to the odd textfile in my $HOME.)

There’s also a bit of a sense of accomplishment in finishing a month. The last couple of years, I’ve done a second stint in the month before my birthday. Is it a countdown? No, not really. Neither is November; if it was, I’d be doing it in the lead-up to Thanksgiving or Chrsitmas.

I’m not doing that, however.

The past few years have been exceptionally difficult. I’m going to try to avoid writing too much about that. On top of my myriad health problems, I’ve seen a marked decline in income. (Checking my SSA statement shows that I’ll be lucky to get back to my 2012 earnings next year.) I’m not going to write terribly much about that; those who need to know do, those who want to know can buy me a beer, and I’ll tell. I’ve been writing a lot lately, in conversation with a friend, about bits of administrivia. There’s a big portion of that discussion that’s been about management. Meanwhile, I’ve also been listening to the Reason Podcast, where they’re discussing a lot of similar issues.

There is no One-True-Way(TM) for just about anything.

Eventually, you have to find your own way to do things. Maybe you’ve been previously inspired by someone or something, but your situation is yours.

Similarly, this effort is something that works for me. I’ll be doing it my way. If you like it, great. If not, that’s fine, too.

So, who am I?  A dude trying to help out the best way I can.  Professionally, I need to keep my irritants from negatively affecting others’ impressions of me.  Having me on your team is a good thing.  Now how do I convince people of that?  (And some of the folks who’ve beautify-illustrated their prowess at taking multiple choice tests by taking certification tests might just be completely worthless.)

Two

Nov. 2, 2016, 4:16 p.m.

My day as a goth kid. (Yes, my wife is planning on doing this to me.)

My wife has decided that I need to be her Goth Boy.

Prompts

  1. Introduction. Why I’m doing this for a sixth year.
  2. My day as a goth kid. (Yes, my wife is planning on doing this to me.)
  3. Collections and Cars.  Write about any collections you have, and the cars you’ve owned.
  4. Write about someone you’ve recently lost.
  5. Write about your siblings. How many? Where are they? What do they do? Do you get along better now than you did when you were kids?
  6. I’m writing about Football.
  7. Write about your parents.
  8. Election Day. Write about your votes.
  9. MOvember.  Write about facial hair.
  10. Armistice Day. I’m going to write about the war Tom Brikaw forgets.
  11. Are you satisfied with the results from yesterday?
  12. Describe your most recent doctor visit. I’m specifically looking for the one(s) you see most often.
  13. Nervousness. Write about what last made you really nervous.
  14. On Being Sick
  15. Find something you wrote five years ago, and tell how things are different
  16. I’m going to write about my trip to be examined for use as a Guniea Pig for research on my condition.
  17. Recap of the trip to DC.
  18. Write about three things you did for the first time in the past year.
  19. Recap of your year month-by-month.
  20. What did you want to be when you grew up?  What are you, actually?
  21. Write about something you’ve had to re-learn.
  22. Write about your recycling habits..
  23. What are your plans for tomorrow, since it’s turkey day in the U
  24. Free Write.
  25. How was turkey day for you. If you’re celebrating on a different day, please elaborate (like my friends in Soviet Canuckistan).
  26. What is your favorite food?  (H/T to someone on PB)
  27. Small Business Saturday.  Write about small businesses you frequent.
  28. Free Write.
  29. What are your holiday plans for Christmas?
  30. Recap, reaction.

Twenty

I searched for Porky Pig doing “That’s All, Folks,” but I couldn’t find something worth embedding.

Today is the last day I’m writing in this stretch. It’s time.

Am I very satisfied with this month of writing? I don’t know. Maybe I mailed it in a bit in a few places, but I’m showing that I’m still capable of doing it.

So, what else am I still capable of? I guess we’ll find out.

Last night, my wife and I finished binge-watching Silicon Valley.. She was very reluctant, but has grown to appreciate it.

As I’ve said, watching that does spark the desire to do something that’s different than what I’ve been doing. I want to be working on something interesting. What I’m doing now is really just dotting lower-case Js, making sure little Fs are crossed.

My skills have wanted somewhat, largely because I haven’t had the financial means, or the energy to do anything terribly interesting. (And here’s the part where I’d snipe about naming names, etc., but….) For the past few years, I’ve done what I needed to do to get through the day, and not much else.

That is no way to live.

So, as I said yesterday, I’m excited about the opportunities for the next few rest of the year. (And the start of yet another year of my life.)

I know there’s some obstacles I’m going to have to face, starting with more discomfort courtesy medical professionals. My rent is also going up by the outrageous amount of twenty dollars per month. So, another year in Norfolk. I’m okay with this.

I’m still looking for topical suggestions for November. Post a comment on one of my entries, or email me.

I’m also happy I’ve found my old OD writings. It’s interesting to go back over what I wrote way back when. (An incredible one is at the end of this entry….wow)

Now it’s time to go find something to eat, maybe, and figure out what I’m doing for the rest of the day.

Something Stupid – 2/19/2002

I received this in my e-mail account at school. Interestingly enough, minority enrollment has dropped 50% over the past three years. I have edited out the name to protect the guilty.

Date: Tue, 19 Feb 2002 07:52:32 -0500
Subject: Special Lunch

Harbor Lights invites you to join us for
Black History Lunch
Today from 11:00 until 2:00
The Menu will be as follows

Louisiana Fried Catfish
Southern Style Baked & Fried Chicken
Carolina Pulled Pork BBQ
Baked Macaroni & Cheese
Candid Yams
Seasoned Collard Greens
Stewed Tomatoes
Hot Corn Muffins
Hot Cobbler Bar
Plus the Salad Bar and your drink for $5.25!

Twenty

Name foods you disliked as a kid, but crave now. Describe the opposite, too.

How much space do I have to write about this?  There are so many.

I still don’t like half-chickens (eggs).  Still not a big fan of entrails (liver, gizzards, etc.).

A lot of where I am these days, though, is if something doesn’t smell bad, I’ll try it.  This is something I can do before those senses dull.  (Yes, loss of the sense of smell, and taste is an MS symptom).

Speaking of that, one of those symptoms felled me hard today getting off the bus.  That leads me to how I’m planning on approaching this;.  Instead of gathering all my prompts beforehand, I’m just going to freelance, and work on whatever comes to mind as I write.

Part of that was seeking prompts from the Mouthy Broadcast folks.   The question was something that I’d rather not reproduce in polite company (as if that really mattered, but….), but that, combined with today’s tumble lead me to:  what’s the worst pain you’ve ever been in?  

Today’s fall isn’t it, but I hurt a lot.  It was so uncomfortable, I spent the money on an Uber home instead of waiting for another bus.

Nineteen

Writing early because I didn’t sleep well, again.

Today, I write about my condition. I’ve tired to avoid that, but it’s important that I do. Yesterday’s entry has what I wrote back in November 2010.

From 2010: I mean, the biggest thing, probably, is that people kind of think the worst about the progression — that I’m going to be a complete cripple within five years.

That hasn’t happened, despite a few disease exacerbations, and a long path finding the right treatment. I carry a cane when I’m out of my house these days, and have trouble going down stairs. My vision is also horrible.

I really stopped driving in the middle of 2012. Yes, a bit of an accident prompted that; I hit a spare tire that’d fallen off of a truck right in front of me in heavy traffic. When I tried to drive, again, toward the end of that year, I was having trouble working the clutch, reading the speedometer, and seeing red lights. (Yeah, a red light against a green tree? Good luck with me seeing that.)

But, on top of the physical problems, my horrible work situations haven’t helped. There’s a handful of people I’d just assume I never speak to again. I’ve never been spiteful like that, but no money on top of physical pain, disease-related difficulty, brings that on. (The first job after I was laid off was 78% of what I’d been earning. The second was a bit more salary, but no usable benefits.)

Have I been mistreated? You bet. Have I done things I probably shouldn’t have? Probably a couple.

Have some friends really shied away? Yep. Whatever. I could be angry about it, but what’s the point? I have other things to worry about.

All that said, I’m now on a treatment that seems to be working pretty well. I honestly often feel better than I have in years. But the damage is done, and I wonder if/when I’ll get back to living a somewhat-“normal” life.

There’s important work going on that might actually “cure” this disease. No, the treatment doesn’t sound fun at all, but getting my vision back would really make my life better. Studies have been done in the UK, Canada, and Israel with “miraculous” results. You don’t see that sort of language used in in the medical field.

(Essentially, they drill your femurs, gather stem cells, cultivate them, completely kill your defective immune system, then inject the stem cells to rebuild the immune system and repair damage caused by the disease. I’ll spare my commentary about the political implications of this, but I’ll say that I’m excited about the fact that the very-Catholic Georgetown University might be one of the places they try to do this in the US…)

I’m happy with some of accomodation my new job affords me. I’m still getting up-to-speed on some things, but I’m getting by. It’s incredible seeing the struggle ongoing to string along all this expensive legacy stuff.

I also have zero benefits, so my salary is still probably only about what I was grossing in 2007.

But I have a wife I love, and try to learn new things every day.

Tomorrow is the last day of this writing period. Taking suggestions for November, or any time before then. Hopefully, the rest of this year continues with the hopeful pirit I’ve had for the past few months.

Eighteen

Yesterday, I said this would be a free-write day, which is probably good. There’s a lot that’s been running through this scarred brain of mine.

First thing this morning was my really lousy German. The word I was searching for was schadenfreude, but I was thinking about the Dutch-speaking infusion nurse trying to figure out what defenestration meant. (One of the standard things before my infusions is questions about changes in medication or treatment. I said my wife was considering defenestration, but that hadn’t happened yet. She paused, then looked at my quizzically. German and Dutch are somewhat close, so she got the window part, but….). But schadenfreude. Why was I thinking about that? An acquaintance was lamenting that something that’d been produced in not the way he/she would have prescribed isn’t horrible.

Yes, that happens. Fucking deal with it. You don’t have all the answers, and sometimes something you were hesitant about turns out good. The commentary on that admission was equally telling. But when politics is your true religion, admiration of anything an apostate does is unacceptable.

So many things in my life I’ve had to accept that my initial take wasn’t the one that would work. I’m okay with that. Maybe it’s not what I would have thought, but, if it works, so be it. I’ve written about Tom Landry here, before. Part of where he messed up with the Cowboys was trying to do all the things. Stick to the defense, coach, that’s your forte. Roger Staubach would have told you that.

I’ve now forgotten the other thing I wanted to write about. It’s not reiteration of my thing from my twenty months in hell – if your solution to securing a Windows host involves “install Perl,” you’re doing it wrong. (Naturally, the genius to whom I was answering at the time said it was absolutely correct. After all, he’d been “doing this a long time.”)

For tomorrow, I’m going to see if I can update Day 19 from National Journal Writers’ Month back in 2010 (the first year I did it). I will have to see what’s changed. Saturday, of course, is a summation; why I do this, and did I get anything out of it?

Day 19 – On Being Sick – 11/19/2010

“Or, if you are someone with an illness, what is your biggest pet peeve about how others treat you, and what is the best thing anyone has ever done to you or for you since they found out about your illness?”

You know, nothing. What can I say? I mean, the biggest thing, probably, is that people kind of think the worst about the progression – that I’m going to be a complete cripple within five years.

I’ve likely had this disease since I was in my early teens; my neurologist is pretty convinced that my progression is very slow, and that some of my lesions are very, very old.

They also don’t realize that there’s lots of people in the public eye who live and work while dealing with the disease….who’ve also had the disease for a long time, but appear fine.

Best thing someone has done for me? I don’t have a clue when it comes to strangers or acquaintances. My wife (then fiancee) gets more credit than I could ever express for her love, support, and care.

Now seven months after the diagnosis, both of us are moving along. It’s tough, and I probably ask more of her than I ought to…..

Only so many spoons sometimes.