Month: November 2021

A third of the way through. I think previously I might have done quarterly checkpoint, but, for this year, thirds seemed appropriate.

Honestly, it’s flown by. A lot of it has been due to various medical things, but I’ve also been busier working than I have in an awful long time.

I really can’t, however, still find a time to really get away and relax.

Today’s thing was similar to what I had Saturday, but with less time to reflect on it all.

I think, at one time, I would have been more annoyed that I really don’t have a chance to enjoy the fruits of my success.

At the same time, I really wonder how much time I’d take patting myself on the back for the successes; I’d just do what I normally do.

Part of what I was listening to either today or yesterday was a discussion of delayed gratification.

But what of when you’ve become so adept at delay that there ultimately isn’t any gratification?

I could say something about the futility of the ritualistic habits, but I’m not sure what to say. I just do what I do.

And maybe I’ll always be that way.

After I finish what I have to do tonight, I should be off for four days without any work to do. Can I figure out how to enjoy that?

I don’t know.

*looks at the news*

Yeah, nothing worth really talking about.

*Look at what I wrote one year ago*

I was waiting to meet with a doctor. Go figure.

*Let’s look at five years ago*

I actually am not seeing anything for 11/10/2016. Interesting.

Even more interesting? I probably won’t leave the house, now, until the day after Thanksgiving.

I am okay with this.

Kind of a disjointed day. With the holiday on Thursday, there’s a lot of push by the various people with whom I interact are trying to clear out Friday to make way for another four-day weekend.

Two in the same month.

I can kinda deal with that, and will be doing the same, myself. I still don’t think I’m going to get down to the requested leave balance by the end of the year. Even with taking the day before and after Thanksgiving, and the whole week between Christmas and the end of the year.

Tomorrow I go get my first infusion at this new facility. I got a rebate check from the last facility, finally, and it ended up being less than half of what I was told I’d receive. While i was initially upset about the situation, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that the money is just gone. I’ve probably spent more than about forty hours on the issue. While I was angry, at first, that they weren’t going to remedy the situation, it’s just not worth fighting anymore.

The attempt failed. It didn’t work. Move on to something else.

Like prompts. I have one for today, and my psychologist suggested that I combine some of the notes I have into a long entry.

Actually, part of the the reason I started seeing this doctor was very disturbing dreams I was having.

I write down what I can when I think to do it. Some of them are really strange.

As an example, my post-work nap today evoked one where I was stuck inside either a mall or a department store. Sort of a cross between something you’d see on Deadmalls, or the Costco in Idiocracy.

Do you have goals that you want to accomplish? What are they? What is your plan to achieve them?

1. Retire
2. Buy a House
3. Write a book

The first one is really kind of a nice way of saying, “finish out what I’m doing.” There’s a finite timeline of what I’m doing. I’m comfortable with that. Much of what I’m doing is keeping this thing running until its replacement is developed. Obviously, I feel good about what I’m offering, but I don’t have a particular attachment to the system as it currently exists. The way it was designed probably made sense when it was designed, but it can be replaced with something more modern.

That sort of attitude often conflicts with people really married to the old way of doing business. But it’s over. Whatever. Healthy people can move on to something different. If I was healthy, my calculus would involve figuring out how to position myself for something new. But I’m not, so hang it up.

The house is pretty straightforward, too. We’re squirreling away cash, and should be able to make a move when we’re ready.

As for the book, I’ve really just got to figure out what I might want to write about. The mechanics of it are also pretty straightforward, too.

I can also do it in spite of my deteriorating vision.

I am really happy I learned how to type in high school.

Busy, busy, busy day that’s still not over.

But I think a few things are coming into focus.

Things aren’t as bad as I’d worried, at least. And I’m hopeful for getting my Tysabri infusion at the new place on Wednesday.

But it’s refreshing to finally get some clarity on where things may be going.

What is the most out there movie or book that you can’t get enough?

I’ve been mulling this over, and am having trouble coming up with something. It’s not working. I don’t know if it’s a case of a shortening attention span, of I’m just not paying attention to many things these days.

Obviously, much of my attention is consumed lately by things like my podcast queue. I got through Bible In A Year, Carolla, and got hung up on Blocked & Reported.

Bears-Steelers tonight. Hm. Yeah, I’m really too distracted to write anything substantial tonight.

Just got off the phone with my mother, who is the last in a string of early-November birthdays. Valentine’s Day.

Sorry. It’s habit, now.

We have some, ummm, not-so-fun things to deal with her financial and health situation. I would imagine that there’ll be a lot more things coming out of politicians in the next few years as broke people a little younger than she start becoming disabled.

The Boomers will all be eligible to start drawing down pre-tax retirement assets in the middle of 2023. Most of them are, already.

This is a problem created by the string of politicians from their generation who’ve run the US government for nearly the past thirty years.

And this brings up a German video from my teenage years….

Prompt: How do you feel about the reality gap between military and civilian families?

I’d been trying to figure out where to address this prompt for a while. I understand what the writer was getting at with it; it’s a question about the difference between the increasingly-small fraction of the US population who have any understanding of the military, and the reality of it.

I don’t know if it’s in the latest gigantic, unread bill passed by Congress, bur there was a recent discussion of expanding selective service to women.

I don’t know how many people today have any idea of what it’s like. Maybe there’s something stretching back home with the extensive use of the National Guard in various foreign adventures, but most people just have no idea.

Expanding the draft is really a non-issue, I think.

So you’re going to draft millions of people. Great. How many of them can pass a PFT (Physical Fitness Test in the Army….not sure what the other branches call it)?

It’s just not something that’ll affect most people. Maybe someone they know, but probably not.

Is there a way to narrow that “gap?” Maybe, but it’d require lowering standards so that more people can be included.

Does something need to be done to narrow it? I don’t think so.

I could write on this for hours, but, instead, I’m going to go get started on my normal Fall/Winter Sunday activity — watching football.

I didn’t get back to writing yesterday.

The show was good. I guess the “guest” who was supposed to be on had something else to do, so it turned into basically a five-comic stand-up show with a political bent.

Entertaining, yes. What I was expecting? No.

I started on this quickly this morning before I went to get my teeth cleaned. Kind of incredible, really, however. Doing something that mundane wasn’t a terrible task. I didn’t spend a ton of time preparing, I just went. And came home. And everything was okay.

This is how normal people live. I’ve never had that sort of experience in such a long time it feels remarkably different.

So…onto prompts…

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What was the last thing you put in your mouth? (T2K)
Straw to my water bottle.

Do you sleep naked? (T2K)
Very rarely these days.

Worst physical pain of your life? (T2K)
I had a tooth that was bothering me on a business trip. I kind of just dealt with it; I’ll go visit my dentist when I get home. Pressurizing cabin is incredibly painful. When I got to Atlanta, I drank three Marinis in the airport hoping to dull the pain on the next leg. Ummm…yeah….The aireline pilot on ferry in the seat next to me looked very concerned. He did reassure me that it’d lessen as we got fully-pressurized.

Worst emotional pain of your life? (T2K)
I really don’t know at this point. The things that would normally be considered lows sucked, sure, but given all the other things that have happened to me during my adult life, it’s tough to get really bent out-of-shape about anything. Losing my dad at a young-ish age was definitely tough, but once again, I found myself in a position of trying to keep the people around me sorta stable.

Favorite place you have ever been? (T2K)
I’m not sure.

How late did you stay up last night? (T2K)
Just a bit after midnight.

If you could move somewhere else, where would it be? (T2K)
I really have no clue at this point.

Which of your Facebook friends lives the closest? (T2K)
Well, the person who invited me to Facebook shares a bed with me. (I fell into that weird place between the always-disconnected, and everybody “online.”

When was the last time you cried? (T2K)
Probably getting my wife’s anniversary card.

Who took your profile picture? (T2K)
Me.

What’s your favorite season? (T2K)
Fall. We’re now moving into cold, now that it’s November.

If you could have any career what would it be? (T2K)
Retired.

What was the last book you read? (T2K)
If I was more of a SJW, I’d be offended by this question. I don’t really see well enough to read anymore.
So learn Braille!
Uh, my fingers (and other pars of my body) are numb.

If you could talk to ANYONE right now, who would it be? (T2K)
I really don’t feel like talking to anyone right now, honestly.

Are you a good influence? (T2K)
Who knows?

Does pineapple belong on a pizza? (T2K)
Generally I’d say, “no.” But I’m in a oh-that-soounds-intersting mode lately. Yes, I’ve had it before, and wasn’t terribly impressed, but my tastes have changed a lot. I still don’t like eggs. Or Avocadoes.

You have the remote, what show will you be watching? (T2K)
No idea. I don’t watch much TV.

Three people who you think will play? (T2K)
I think this was specific to OD; I don’t know.

Last concert you went to? (T2K)
Music? I don’t know; maybe Tegan & Sara? I’ve been to some debates and comedy shows.

Favorite type of food? (T2K)
French

I didn’t have a prompt here, either. I’m thinking it’s because it’s my brother’s birthday. Glad he successfully collected the gift card I sent from a site not owned by the Space Cowboy. (Bezos in a cowboy hat)

Otherwise, it’s been a pretty uneventful day, which I absolutely needed. Today should have been the day I was getting my Tysabri infusion, but with the site switch, that’s not happening until next week. I am fatigued, but will power through.

I’m waiting to watch a livestream of Part Of The Problem from their festival which is in Houston this year instead of New York. Messing with some of the assemblage in the chat sidebar.

Okay, it’s starting. I may update later with reax.

I called my grandfather to wish him happy birthday. Ninety-two. Holy crap.

I have little illusion I will last that long, despite having roughly a quarter of his genes.

But he didn’t smoke. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him drink, and that was only beer, mainly while fishing.

But I’ve pretty well decided that I’m not working tomorrow. I probably should have taken today off, but I really didn’t think I had anything else to do today.

Other than shiver. After I finish writing today, I’ll call the maintenance for the fourth time today to see about getting somebody out to fix the heat in our apartment.

Unacceptable.

So, prompt….

Name a book that you never forgot about

I’ve been thinking lately about The Jungle by Upton Sinclair.

A classmate an I, being the two new kids in our advanced English class, had it as one of the make-up summer reading assignments to start school in Bad Newz. (Yes, I saw both Vick brothers play high school football…)

One of the things we hit on, even though I don’t recall seeing it in any of the analysis materials we found, was that it was a piece of Socialist agitprop.

Obviously, the two of us had spent considerable time as kids in Germany worrying that the Soviets were going to come through the Fulda Gap at any moment.

But the main character’s life was absolute hell in the meat packing plants in Chicago (and all of the health concerns for which the book is famous), but his life improved when he joined a union, and became a Socialist.

This was the mid-90s. I’d seen recently-liberated Eastern Europe. The workers’ paradises there, well, weren’t paradises at all.

But that was different, of course. It could be Slovakia, but it could also be Denmark.

Not so much.

I went to Denmark, too. Denmark wasn’t at all similar to Mukov. Not even close.

So I guess there’s an example where in-person experience outshines the academics’ stories.

I’m trying to think of some of the particulars of the book, but few of the disgusting particulars are coming to mind. The joy of Jurgis after finding the opioid of the academy, on the other hand, does.

Virginia Election reax

Of course, what happened in the Virginia election yesterday has been all over the worldwide media. Results (from AP).

What’s happened here in Virginia over the past, really, twenty years is an example of out-of-state newcomers really changing what the guidance and goals are.

Obviously, my wife, and my entry into the DC area is partially a result of it.

But there’s really few things worthwhile here anymore.

So it’s time to leave soon. Oh well. It’s not like I have any particular affinity for NOVA.

I was really thinking about leaving Virginia, actually. Yesterday’s results might cut down on the urgency on that. The craziness is resolved, somewhat, at the state level. Next year, I expect the Republicans to take back the US Congress.

But will it really matter? What will happen during the lame duck session of Congress between election day next November, and the time the new Congress is sworn in in January 2023? I don’t know.

The Machiavellian instinct I have says that all of the worst things that were in the stalled portions of the “Infrastructure” bills in Congress right now. But I do think some of the senators not in completely off-the-rails states will think twice about ramming things through, even those who’ve lost their reelection bids.

Maybe the blow will be lessened somewhat in Virginia, but that requires more faith than I have.

Another big take-away? Both the Clinton and Trump political machines are completely destroyed now. Youngkin won keeping Trumps at more than an arm’s length (and given Younkin’s college basketball background, that’s pretty far) McAuliffe was Bill Clinton’s DNC point-man, and he ran interference for Hillary. The country’s moved on.

If that means that Trump was the last of four-consecutive Boomer presidents, good riddance. (Biden is “Silent” Generation; Kennedy does a segment on her Fox Business show about which is older X or Joe Biden?)

It appears that the Republicans also took back the House of Delegates, swinging from a five-seat deficit to a fifteen-seat advantage. Yikes.

But I guess we’ll see what more shakes out in the next few days. I was up way too late watching results, so I’m going to slink off to take a nap.

Day two, and I somehow didn’t have a prompt for today.

Today has really been a matter of recovering from yesterday’s ordeal, unfortunately.

Yesterday was an….ordeal.

Late Sunday night, my oldest friend, who’d promised to drive me in to the city to get this procedure done called out sick. Like coughing up blood sick. I don’t think it’s the dreaded COVID, but probably not a good idea to have him in the hospital, regardless.

So mad scramble to figure out getting a ride to and from. My wife can’t drive in the District, so find something else…..

Let me call my brother.

He drove me in and out. Not really a good way to express my gratitude for that. He’d actually never been to our place….which turns out to be about fifteen minutes away from his work.

But get to the hospital at 0800, check in, do perp, they take me back, and I go night-night.

Similar to the one a few years ago. Hopefully there’s nothing weird on the lab results, but I won’t know for about a week, probably.

Home. Sleep off the anesthesia, light dinner, normal twice-weekly work fun, and football.

Today was waking up barely in time to sign-on for work on-time, working a full shift, then going to vote.

Fingers crossed that the candidates against whom I voted lose.

But I’m feeling sort of okay, and, thankfully, don’t have anywhere else to go until I get my teeth cleaned Saturday morning.

But back to the election, kind of where I am with the whole process, now, is voting against the worst people. Considering Virginia has open primaries, I often get two opportunities to do that — once in the controlling party’s “open” primary, and again in the general election.

At the same time, I understand the appeal of just refusing to participate. I can’t remember at this point the last time I felt good about casting a vote for a candidate.

We’ll see what the results are.

It’s November. I’m doing what I do, writing, for the month. This is Year Twelve of writing every day. I’m also not shaving my upper lip, which I’ve done for probably about the past five or six years.

Why do I keep doing this? I don’t know. My psychologist has identified it as one of the few compulsions I have in my somewhat-unusual case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

The number of things she’s been able to help me with in the almost three years I’ve been seeing her are nearly impossible to tally.

So, yes, there’s been some dissuasion towards this, but I keep doing it because, the November session, at least, sort of focuses me on the end of the year.

While I’ve gotten better, personally, many, many things have gotten a lot worse this year.

In the first entry last year, I wrote, “I’ve been trying to stay a bit optimistic about what’s going to happen, but I am worried.”

I think that was justified.

My wife and I are trying to figure out how to begin extracting ourselves from the DC swamp. I think we’ve got the start of a plan, but there’s still many lower-case Js to dot, Fs to cross.

I have about two-thirds of the month’s writing planned. Let’s go. Yes, that includes you, too, Brandon. O.o