^H

So, yes, this is the last post of this writing streak.
My mother came down yesterday with presents/wishes/etc.. After showing her the rooftop party area of our building, we went to Doumar’s for dinner. I think I’d like to go to Waffle House, so my wife and I may go tonight or tomorrow.
And, before you ask, smothered, usually covered, and sometimes chunked.
So, scorecard on this session.
Adherence: B+ I’ve not missed a day after the initial disruption. I did make up for the two days I missed along the way.
Content: C+ I’ve really been writing off-the-cuff. Yes, I’ve used some short prompts in many entries, but I’ve not devoted full entries to most of the prompts. Previously, I’d sampled heavily from from previous writing months. With the disruptions in my life, I didn’t really have time to prepare as I normally would.
The last week, of course, has been influenced by the things in Charlottesville, plus whatever was coming out of Washington.
Unlike those with hard-line political allegiances, I’m disgusted with “both sides'” responses. Despite Terry McAuliffe’s impassioned statements, you’re not either with the Antifa thugs, or the Neo-Nazis and Confederates. To me, you’re with freedom, or you aren’t. When groups like the ACLU ruin the hastily-assembled political narrative, it’s an endless stream of derision over social
and broadcast media. That makes you different and better than the President how, exactly?
Distribution: C I originally gave myself a C-, but why would be I giving myself pluses and minuses on all these? I did get things working well enough on this oh-so-broken VM to get the content up, and posted it faithfully to PB. Between Oracle’s destruction of MySQL, and Debian’s disaster with systemd, I’ve got a mess I really haven’t had the time or energy to address. If I had good income, still, I’d be building a virtualization host where I could set something up with an operating system I actually enjoy using to get this out. Part of that speaks to what I’ve been targeting in many areas of life — starting from zero.
I know I’ve made mistakes, and my physical problems really limit where I could go. But the physical problems, ultimately, are less limiting than some other things. I want to get as close to the bare minimum as I can, where I can start rebuilding. If I come out of this without a cent to my name, but my wife by my side, that’s good for me.
So, yeah, I’m stopping there. Tomorrow, I’ll inch closer to being a man. The Sun will dim, and I’ll keep digging for something new.
And so it goes.

Winding down to the end, here.
Tomorrow will be free-write, so I’ll use one of my last remaining prompts. The unused ones, including the list I can’t seem to concentrate on to write.
Do you believe that some people are born lucky, while some are born unlucky?
I don’t know. I do think there’s a lot of benefits you get from your parentage, and where you went to school.
Even if you’re basically worthless, if you attended a private high school, and a prestigious university, you “start on third base.” I think back to being in the field with a bunch of ROTC cadets from William and Mary. They were discussing which boarding schools they attended for high school. I didn’t offer, “I went to Menchville.” *flash gang sign*
Bernie Sanders will rattle on and on about free college. The Democrat nominee for governor sets his sights even lower, offering opportunities for trade school or internships.
One of the few things I found fascinating about the Trump cabinet is the incredible background diversity. It’s not like the last few presidents, packed with Ivy League products. Indiana. Michigan. Georgia. Even Texas A&M.
Part of that might have been my military upbringing; it doesn’t really matter where you came from, if you can do the job, you’re successful. I suppose I should have seen that that only goes so far. My dad attended the Army War College. I went to high school with the kids of a bunch of the names that’d be in the news during the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns. Even some of the finest officers didn’t end up pinning on a bunch of stars.
Back to the VMI ring-knocker who’s the Democratic nominee — how far would he have gotten if he wasn’t wearing that big class ring? The most famous alumnus from CNU draws a web comic with stick figures.
There’s things that could be done to remedy some of this, but I doubt it’ll ever be seriously attempted. Someone gets where he/she is based almost entirely on patronage, and that’s okay. If you’re not born into a high position, you can just stay in your place.

As the morning progresses, I get to spend the day dealing with the Virginia Employment Commission who’ve, for whatever reason, frozen my account with them. Probably going to have to make a trip to the office in near-triple-digit heat.
It’s frustrating.
And this is where I start retelling something I’d already bitched about.
Only one NFL preseason game tonight. I don’t know if I can see it here in my involuntarily-imposed regular TV-free environment.
**UPDATE**
That’s sorta straightened-out now, and I don’t have to go out in the heat.
Guilty food pleasure
I don’t really know?
Even though I’m not nauseated all the time these days, there’s nothing I really want to ever gorge myself on. I can’t imagine eating more than about a scoop of ice cream.
I really don’t want a huge overcooked piece of meat. Give me a smaller one that’s well-seasoned, and properly-cooked.
I really appreciate quality over quantity.
Nice cocktail to start, amazing food with wine for the meal, and maybe a beer with desert.
Doing those things, though, is really affected by my health and finances. Even if I was feeling up to going out to get something good to eat, I don’t have the money to do it.
So, go work in the restaurant industry?
Yeah, I don’t have the stamina or dexterity to do that, either.
All that said, even hitting the more-affordable options so often results in better finds.
When I was working for the company at the behest of the criminal GS-14, my wife and I took a trip. When we got into town, I was pretty exhausted. Instead of going out to eat somewhere, we ordered delivery to the hotel.
We ended up ordering from some middle-eastern place. I think the whole order ran us about $25, but it was way more food than we could eat. And the food was amazing.
</ Bachelor/Bachelorette>

I really can’t get motivated to write one of my prompts, so today is free write.
Made some progress yesterday in the employment hunt.  Today’s nearly $700 after-tax payment for health insurance shows why companies are so bent on doing the contract-to-hire bit.
This one recruiter I spoke with yesterday was unwilling to tell me the work location of a job, or the company unless he could call me on FaceTime.  I only got one of the answers before I realized that I wasn’t interested (because the job was in BFE Virginia Beach, and they were firm that there’d be no wiggle room on the C2H time).  I don’t remember which company it was;  the unwillingness to work on the C2H bit made it unworkable.
I still have so many irons in the fire, I’m losing track, honestly.
It’s incredible how little focus I have today.  Coffee time?
My coffee consumption seems to be a bit like when it’s good to eat oysters;  months with an “r.”
If I was going to a Waffle House to watch the eclipse, it might be a different story.

I was tempted to start with a very long prompt, but realized that I really don’t have the motivation.
Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.
Two longtime friends have a birthday today.
We’re well in to the form-babby-at-thanksgiving time.
Going through friends/acquaintances….
August 16th: Two
August 17th: None
August 18th: One.
August 19th: At least one, but maybe more.
August 20th: At least one, but maybe more.
August 21st: Uhm….
August 22nd: At least one, but I don’t remember who right now.
I think there was one on the 23rd, too, but, again, memories in my scarred brain are very fuzzy.
Have you ever questioned whether you were correct while everyone else seemed to think you were overreacting?
I don’t know. I don’t think people think I overreact that often. My emotional lability is something I have to watch, but I normally can control. (Yes, that is an MS symptom.)
I think that sometimes people think that I concentrate on inconsequential things.
I was looking for the scene from the epic Pod People about “Burning Rubber Tires.” The only thing I could find on YouTube was a version that was played at like double speed. Well, that, and the MST3K parody of it.
I do tend to key on things, sometimes. Those things are often things that others might find unimportant. Often, though, I focus on them because I notice something with them that might end up being a problem later.
My deteriorating eyesight, however, does make me miss some things most others might notice.
I keep getting distracted while writing this. My phone is blowing up.
No, some dude from Miami, I’m not interested in this health insurance policy you’re trying to sell. No, technical recruiter, I’m really not all that interested in a six-month contract-to-hire so your client can avoid paying benefits.
And, see, I’m so scatter-brained this morning that I chuckled thinking about this:

The only thing that shocks me here is just how much Jay Cutler and Florida are made for each other pic.twitter.com/DnyAOAIqfi

— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) August 8, 2017

 
I do have to do an extra entry, still, to get back on track.  So I’m going to recycle a survey from 2012.   Deleting the questions that were OD-specific.
Old stuff below, then I’ll do the same below.  Things that are unchanged, I’ll put in bold.

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Stolen from CR, who stole it from someone else, etc.

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1) When did you start writing on OD?

Summer 1999. Too lazy to go look exactly. July, maybe?

2) How did you find OD and what made you decide to start a diary here?

Friend on AIM used it. Was curious. Liked. Stuck around.

3) Have you ever tried other online diary/journal/blog sites?

Yes. Many. I have my own WordPress setup on my personal co-lo. It sucks. But OD has been pretty consistent. I was going to say, “stable,” but…

4) Do you refer to your OD as a diary, journal, blog, or something else?

This is my diary. My blog is my blog, sucks.

5) What is the meaning, reason, or story behind your diary title?

It’s terminal erase. At one point, I deleted everything. I was trying to get out of radio at the time, so the old name didn’t really fit.

6) Approximately how many usernames have you had on OD and what were some (or all) of them?

Two.

7) What is the privacy setting on your diary? (Public, OD Users Only, Friends Only, or Private?)

It’s public. Lots of the entries are FO.

8) Do you mostly write public, friends only, or private entries? Why?

Lately? FO.

9) How many entries do you have and what is there breakdown?

Lazy. It’s 2,000-something. Most of them are FO.

10) What are your criteria for deciding to post an entry public, friends only, or private?

I don’t have many (if any) private entries. FO decision is normally related to whether there’s gory details about my personal life, or if I’m worried work might stumble upon it. Really juicy shit I write in hidden text.

11) Does anyone in your real life know about and/or read your OD?

My wife. Maybe a few others.

12) Do you consider the diarists on your friends list to actually be “friends”?

A few, yes.

13) Do you communicate with any fellow ODers outside of OD? If so, by what methods?

Am friends with a few on Facebook.

14) Does your OD have a theme?

Black.

15) Do you use any features (tags, chapters, friends/bookmarks groups, etc.) to organize your OD?

I had things well-divided into chapters at one point. For the last few years, especially since I got sick, I’ve left it by the wayside. I’ve considered trying again, but too much of a PITA.

16) Do you have a paid or free account? Why?

Been paid for awhile. Did the lifetime thing last time I was up. I don’t have a problem paying for stuff I like using. And there’s other nifty features you only get with a paid account, so…

17) If you have OD+, what is your favorite Plus feature? If not, what feature would you like to see added to free OD?

Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I used Free OD?

18) Do you have any habits or routines associated with your OD and/or writing in it?

These days? Nope. In a past life? Yep.

19) Do you write anonymously or not? Why?

Somewhat.

20) What is your note setting and why?

I think it defaults to signed. I don’t get a lot of passers-through anymore, so it’s really not a big concern.

21) Have you ever made an entry private that wasn’t originally so? If so, why?

I’m sure it’s happened. I don’t remember which.

22) Have you ever deleted an entry? Why?

Yes. It was stupid.

23) Do you have any diarists blocked?

I don’t think so?

24) To your knowledge are you blocked by any diarists?

Not to my knowledge.

25) Do you update regularly or sporadically?

No regular schedule. NoJoMo is helping focus me, maybe.

26) Have you ever posted a picture of yourself in your OD?

Yes.

27) Do you ever go back and read through your old entries?

Occasionally. A few important days I’ve written about here….

28) Are you good about replying to notes?

Depends. Sometimes.

29) If you read an entry, do you feel obligated to note it, even if you have nothing to say?

Uh, no……?

30) Which do you do more on OD: read or write?

Probably write. I can do that with my eyes closed. My plethora of typos reflects that.

31) What is your opinion of blank notes (notes that show a diarist’s name, but have no other text)?

I use it; kind of a Bill Clinton, “I feel your pain,” but sometimes it’s just an acknowledgement that I have nothing meaningful to add.

32) How much time and attention do you spend on your OD’s appearance? Do you feel like it matters?

Very little.

33) How much time and attention do you spend on your OD’s front page? Do you feel like it matters?

Very little.

34) Do you ever look at the front page of other diarists?

Rarely.

35) Have you ever nominated an entry for Reader’s Choice?

Not in a long time.

36) Have you ever had one of your entries nominated for Reader’s Choice? If so, how did it make you feel and did you personally feel like the entry nominated deserved the distinction?

I think it’s happened; I really don’t remember why.

37) Do you feel like OD is a social networking site, an online community, both or neither?

Community.

38) Have you ever leftOD for a period of time and came back? If so, why did you come back?

Sort of? I kind of dropped out around the time I started getting serious with my wife. I came back when I got sick.

39) Are all your bookmarks on your friends list and vice versa or not?

No idea.

40) Have you ever met any fellow ODers in person?

Yes. Long time ago. Neither I met is still around on the site. One I think landed a job nearby because I tipped her off to it. It was a little unsettling with that one, because her parents and mine actually knew each other…..

41) Approximate how many diarists on are your bookmarks and friends?

Too lazy to look. There’s probably about fifteen I read who update somewhat frequently.

42) Do you have any diarists on your bookmarks and/or friends that haven’t posted in over a year? Why don’t you delete them?

Several. No reason, really. A couple I hope come back.

43) Do you have any entries that you’ve written that particular stand out in your mind?

The one I wrote when my dad died.

44) Do you write for yourself, for your readers, or both?

Myself. I’m fucking selfish. Deal. :-p

45) Do you feel you can be 100% open and honest in your OD or do you feel like you have to censor yourself?

No. See the hidden text.

46) Would you, or have you, ever recommended OD to another person? If so, did you tell them about your OD and give them your username?

Yes. I had IRL friends who wrote here. Both have moved on. I’m more than okay with one never reading my bullshit again. The other is privvy if he cares….

47) If you were to describe your diary in one word, what would that word be?

Dark. Since I was working overnights when I started it, it made sense.

48) Has OD changed your life in any ways? If so, how?

It helps me collect my thoughts. Back in the day, it gave me something to keep me awake in the middle of the night.

Notes:

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I should do a survey, if only to get my writing mojo back. [donut] 11/15/2012 6:34:09 AM

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I think I’m going to do this. 🙂 [Principassa Pollyana] 11/15/2012 7:03:48 AM

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I liked that Bill Clinton answer. I feel your pain…. I can already hear his scratchy voice 😉 [Cats Rule] 11/15/2012 8:44:03 AM

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1. Do you refer to your OD as a diary, journal, blog, or something else?
I’m really not drawing a big distinction anymore.  I write on my blog, and cross-post to Prosebox.
2. What is the meaning, reason, or story behind your diary title?
It’s terminal erase. At one point, I deleted everything. I was trying to get out of radio at the time, so the old name didn’t really fit.
3. How many entries do you have and what is there breakdown?
NFC.  I had something like 2,000 on OD.  I don’t know how many I had on my blog.  The database got corrupted when the storage array crashed on the virtualization host where this lives died.
I do need to backup very soon, though.  Maybe I’ll eventually get my own shit setup, and move everything to something I can manage completely in-house.  But, for reasons I’ve already written about this summer, I’m a little light to spare cash right now.
4.  Do you consider the diarists on your friends list to actually be “friends”?
A few, yes.
On PB, several of my readers are friends on Facebook.  I do keep in touch with an OD fave via email.  *shrug*
5.  Do you communicate with any fellow ODers outside of OD? If so, by what methods?
Am friends with a few on Facebook.
See the previous question.
6.  Do you have any habits or routines associated with your OD and/or writing in it?
These days? Nope. In a past life? Yep.
These days, I write in the month leading up to my birthday, during November for NoJoMo, and as the mood strikes.  I have a friends-only bit on PB, but I really haven’t written there in awhile.
7.  Do you write anonymously or not? Why?
Not really.  If you wanted to find out who I am, you could.  My name and address are available on the WHOIS entry for control-h.org.  Wanna get in the building, much less my apartment, GLWT.
8.  What is your note setting and why?
I have to approve everything on my personal blog, and they’re cut off after a week.  I don’t remember my settings for PB;  some of those would vary per-book.
9. Have you ever deleted an entry? Why?
Yes. For a variety of reasons.  Besides that, everything gets deleted, eventually.
10.  Do you update regularly or sporadically?
No regular schedule. NoJoMo is helping focus me, maybe.  The summer writing was really out of sheer boredom in the blast chiller from hell.  I’ve kept it going because writing seems to focus me.
11. Have you ever posted a picture of yourself in your OD?
Yes.  And other places.  It’s not like you couldn’t find a picture of me if you looked.
12. Do you ever go back and read through your old entries?
Occasionally. A few important days I’ve written about here….
There’s some I really don’t care to go back and read, but I will to remember what was going on.  Some, like around when my dad died, or I got diagnosed, are pretty tough.
13. Are you good about replying to notes?
Depends. Sometimes.  I try to make a point of doing it on PB.  Here, I rarely get any notes, so it’s not really an issue.
14. If you read an entry, do you feel obligated to note it, even if you have nothing to say?
Uh, no……?
15. What is your opinion of blank notes (notes that show a diarist’s name, but have no other text)?
I use it; kind of a Bill Clinton, “I feel your pain,” but sometimes it’s just an acknowledgement that I have nothing meaningful to add.
I do the same on Facebook, and a few other places.  Just a ” ” as a replay sometimes get around the spam filter.
It looks like it’s going to rain very fiercely.
 
16.  Do you ever look at the front page of other diarists?
Rarely.  PB shows the creator’s writings when I login.  I’ve been really bad, lately, about even reading my favorites.  I might have not gotten so out-of-the-loop on it if they hadn’t redesigned the site, where I couldn’t really read it in elinks.
17. Have you ever met any fellow ODers in person?
Yes. Long time ago. Neither I met is still around on the site. One I think landed a job nearby because I tipped her off to it. It was a little unsettling with that one, because her parents and mine actually knew each other…..
Still that, though I don’t know what happened after the night I ran across her in a bar.  I do keep in touch with a few people.
 
18. Do you have any diarists on your bookmarks and/or friends that haven’t posted in over a year? Why don’t you delete them?
Several. No reason, really. A couple I hope come back.
Well, they’re not going back to OD, anyway.  The ones that I follow on PB, I’ve been bad about keeping up with.  Since NoJoMo 2016, a lot of it is due to me working my ass off, trying to keep that job I had.  Lot of good that did me, huh?
19. Do you have any entries that you’ve written that particular stand out in your mind?
The one I wrote when my dad died.  Again, I have them, but they’re not for anyone but me to read right now.  The ~4M ASCII file is a few places on The Internets.  Maybe someone will find them after I die.  After perusing, I expect the reaction to be something along the lines of “he was really fucked-up.”
20.  Do you write for yourself, for your readers, or both?
Myself. I’m fucking selfish. Deal. :-p
21.  Do you feel you can be 100% open and honest in your OD or do you feel like you have to censor yourself?
No.
22. If you were to describe your diary in one word, what would that word be?
Dark. Since I was working overnights when I started it, it made sense.
Today, I’d go with temporal.
23.  Has OD changed your life in any ways? If so, how?
It helps me collect my thoughts. Back in the day, it gave me something to keep me awake in the middle of the night.  This is true, too, for my writing periods on my blog.

I’m not really feeling any of my prompts this morning.  Try to re-sample something I wrote on this date in the past, and there’s not a lot.

08/15/2011 - 8/15/2011
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Amazon's "Gold Box" recommended Barbra Streisand. I'm scared.

She can sing, but that’s true of lots of people whose music doesn’t suit me.
This is one of the areas where I’m a bad person.  I’m okay with people having opinions that differ from mine.  I also don’t think it’s okay to force other people to adopt my choices.
I’ll also stick up for your right to make choices I don’t like.
Through Sunday and Monday, at the behest of Virginia’s governor, there was a message that the bigots who marched in Charlottesville shouldn’t have been allowed to do so.
Naturally, he chose to go shoot his mouth off on radio supported by money taken by force, and blame the ACLU for creating the situation.  What in the actual fuck?
So last night, after eating my wife’s culturally-appropriated Cuban sandwiches, I was thinking about how, no, I disagree with the idea that there’s only one way to think about it.  There’s many ways to think about it, and no one is absolutely correct.
Establishing that there’s only one proper way to think is tyrannical.
There was a tweet storm going back and forth about it last night.

BREAKING: We respond to @GovernorVA ‘s allegations that the ACLU is responsible for violence in #Charlottesville : https://t.co/T3eeyupPmo pic.twitter.com/pAuSytT36z

— ACLU of Virginia (@ACLUVA) August 14, 2017

I also appreciated Greg Guttfeld’s commentary on The Five.  Unfortunately, I can’s seem to find that online this morning.  Chris Long,
On that note, I guess I’m going to switch focus.  After trying, unsuccessfully, to get through to this HR department that sent me a notice about my application on Saturday, they finally picked up their phone after lunch.  No change.  Um, so why did you send me an email about it on Saturday (and not pick up your phone when I called in the morning)?
I was also looking up information about the eclipse.  Yes, the Sun is going to get blacked-out on my birthday.  If I was superstitious, I’d say that’s a sign.  I’m debating whether it might be a good time to hit the roof of the building to watch.  At the same time, it sounds like the whole thing is going to take more time than I’m willing to devote.  We’ll see.
Bu-buh-but you need to buy glasses so you don’t tuin your retinas!!1!
Or just don’t look directly at it, and watch as the brightness levels go down.