Author: sean

Today’s prompt: Reconnecting with nature has been shown to be beneficial for easing some of the symptoms of depression. The very act of being in nature promotes mindfulness and gratitude. The inherent ‘peace and quiet’ of natural environments can help to clear your mind of unnecessary worries and reduce feelings of anger and tension. Today, go for a walk in nature, if weather permits. If it’s raining, open the windows for a bit and listen to the rain and practice some meditations techniques you learned the other day.

Yeah, I’m not doing this one. Doing the planking challenge yesterday was tough, but walking across the apartment is tough enough. I’m not sure where my boots are. Maybe I could meditate on that, and remember where I put them.

So, challenge failed.

Listening to Vladimir Zelenko on Adam Corolla talking about his experiences with the malaria drugs w/ COVID-19. Snopes says Unproven. Yes, so are you, Snopes. So are you. Blessed Sister Rachel on MSNBC would say they’re 100% correct. Maybe one of the hospital corpsmen could wave to her on the way out of NYC.

So. What else?

Had a revelation last night looking at stuff with the latest bailout bill. Panic! Big banks are getting loads of taxpayer (well, future taxpayer, since they’re just inventing money at this point….) funds to big banks, and other big corporations.

The government is causing this problem as its reaction to a public emergency. But, ultimately, the proximate responsibility is the governments’.

Still, in the case of the oh-so-evil BIG BANKS, for every piece of paper they have that’s going bad, they charge interest partially to address the risk of making the loan.

I get the George Bailey speech about where the money is, that it’s not all in the bank. Got it. But this isn’t an issue with fractional-reserve banking. This is about risky loans made willingly. Perhaps some of them were at the behest of government, sure, but, ultimately, the banks chose to make those loans.

Let Them Fail.

I’m sorry that people who had nothing to do with it, aside from entrusting these reckless banks with their money, might get hurt.

But that’s what the FDIC and NCUA are there to protect against. If you’re foolish enough to have more than the limit deposited, that’s on you. I don’t care about Karen, the perky mortgage broker. I don’t care about Bill the branch manager.

You two could have stopped this. You chose not to. Yes, something bad’s happened, perhaps exacerbated by government action, but it doesn’t change the fact that you chose this.

Let Them Fail.

Yes, it’s gonna hurt. But without failure, they’re just going to prop things up, and reinflate the bubbles like they did towards the end of the last decade.

Let Them Fail.

And never reemerge in their former form.

Karen deserves to lose. And saying that really isn’t sexist unless you want it to be.

Today’s prompt was planking.

First, I’m in horrible shape. I really need to start hitting the workout room at the complex where I live.

When it reopens.

Second, I tried to do some, and my spastic legs kept me from doing it very long at all.

What else. Hmm. Yeah, I’m finished with Facebook. Again. More. If the HR Geeks folks wanna moderate the group, they know how to get in touch with me.

Maybe this weekend, I’ll mess with the mailing lists again.

But yeah, there’s nothing nice to say about the things the Didn’t-Used-To-Be-Evil letters company, and Facebook are doing.

Sarah showed me some of the things she was having show up in her feeds just because of what she’d shopped for, not on those apps, but on other apps on her phone.

A couple of quick examples. The first from Al-Reuters (if anyone remembers that meme from, say, 2003, congratulations?). But more on point, this from RCP.

Another of the problems with the big media, you know, the ones Chuck Todd says it’s dangerous that we don’t trust, is that things change so rapidly that they can’t keep up. If you limit your exposure, cap your time, you’ll remain in a state of perpetual ignorance.

I was trying to listen to this just after the morning newscast was talking about, and my phone was getting alerts about, a test approval.

But you should stay in our shield of self-imposed ignorance.

No.

Do an art project or build something today. 

I’m really not feeling that creative today. Sorry. Feeling kind of lousy, I mean, better than Kim Jong Number Un, but still a bit rough.

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And writing more because it’s a compulsion.

I was in a bad mood today, too, largely because of what I was seeing in relation to the COVID-19 lockdowns, and some of the things going on in Montgomery County, Democratic People’s Republic of Maryland (DPRM). Interview/story.

The same police who are so upset about people protesting about being told to stay at home would be the ones forcing people to stay home…where they could come in and shoot them in the middle of the night.

In my avoid-everything-Chuck-Todd mode, I’ve been bouncing among different local TV morning shows. The past couple of mornings, I’ve found myself on Get Up DC.

The first few times I saw it, I gave up, and went back to WJLA, or Fox 5. This week, however, I’ve found myself heading back over ot WUSA. I like the tempo, and I don’t really care about the polished plasticprofessional delivery.

This morning, however, there was some real animus towards the people who wanted to just leave their houses, or whatever. And nothing towards the cops who broke in, and shot a guy sleeping in his own bed.

Get your fucking priorities in order.

I would also submit that the local if-it-bleeds-it-leads media are actually fostering this sort of behavior.

Would people show up to a rally if there weren’t cameras around?

Also, how are you, yourselves, not potentially aiding the spread of the virus by not staying home, yourselves? Practice what you preach, and maybe the protestors dwindle.

Just like your graying audience.

And that’s the real problem, isn’t it. You’re important. No, not as important as you think you are. Sorry to break the news. (And I’m sorry I’m takin’ your jobs.)

Four-twenty. So blaze up if you’re in a place where that’s legal, and the cops won’t shoot you in your sleep. Yes, this was a find from Michael Malice I heard on a radio show today.

Today’s challenge? Play cards. Uh, I’m not sure I have a deck of cards. If I do have one, who knows where it is.

Hmm. Is there an EMACS Solitaire game? Yep. M-x solitaire. Yeah, no idea how to work this.

And you might ask yourself, “how di I work this?”

Yes, they were re-running the David Byrne performance on Saturday Night Live this past weekend.

(And if you’ve got GNU EMACS installed, it’s M-x solitaire)

Good session this morning with my therapist. She wanted me to look at I did have one of the sorts of dreams I started seeing her for. Oddest thing. I think it might have been related to an email response I was putting together to a friend that really hit on how out-of-place I feel sometimes when I’m in among the affluent in DC. She sent me this, but I’m having trouble seeing how it really fits.

Part of the discussion, too, was about my near automatic rejection of authoritarianism. The various governors’ stay-at-home orders give me more than a moment’s pause.

And that makes me a bad person. Or dangerous if you’re Chuck Todd.

This morning looks like this:

I could give the info on which coffee it is, but I’m too lazy to go look in the Keurig to see.

Probably this, with some heavy cream.

I’m not really seeing anything on the Cabin Fever page as a challenge for today, so I’m struggling to find something to write about.

Flashback to a decade ago:

04/19/2010 – 4/19/2010

This weekend was pretty good. My fiancee is so wonderful; words just can’t describe how much she has helped me, or what I know she will do. It’s such a difference….amazing how far the both of us have come in the almost four years we’ve been together. She did read the “spoon theory” of MS…made her cry. “Do you feel like this?” “Some days. I’m not really that bad, but it does kind of encapsulate the way I’ve felt the past few weeks, since I’ve been in this ‘episode.'”

Today, however, wasn’t as successful. While some of my symptoms have subsided, after a not-so-good night of sleep, balance and eyes were affected today. Numbness down below seems to be subsiding some. Work, of course, has been trying. I’m really not sure where to go with that — I feel under-appreciated, but what can I do? The local management have been pretty understanding, but I do wonder if I should be looking for something either less stressful, or better paying.

That said, my slot is safe through next July. Considering the job market these days, having a gig is a good thing.

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This morning’s background discussion. They’re talking about getting distracted from meditation by social media.

That I’ve tried to delete as many things as possible connected to Facebook and Google has lifted many weights. As I’ve been cooped up, I’ve looked at Facebook more often, and I’ve found myself less disturbed about many things.

It makes me a worse cable news acolyte, certainly. That I don’t trust Chuck Todd, and get upset about things makes me dangerous.

Okay, then.

Today’s prompt:

Bake or try a new recipe today.

No, I can’t do this. I don’t have the time, and the kitchen really isn’t my domain anymore. I can cook steaks (yes, I can do them on the stove in a skillet….nearly perfectly), or reheat leftovers in the oven.

But even before, I was never terribly skilled at baking. While I was pretty adept at Chemistry in school, as far as doing it at home, it’s been tough. Last year, my brother, his brother-in-law, and father-in-law were putting together some beer. I think I sampled some, and it turned out pretty good.

I don’t know if I could do that. We’ve got a garage now, but i’m not sure if I have the patience, really.

*gets sidetracked, and wonders if he wrote about the horrible-looking cake he made for his then-fiancee years ago*

Nope. Nothing.

Maybe I was too embarrassed to even write about it. At least it did taste good.

We’ll see what tomorrow’s challenge is. Maybe it’ll be something I can feel halfway okay about saying I completed.

Jitsi chat for HRGeeks tonight, per yesterday’s entry.

I wasn’t sure if I wrote yesterday, but it looks like I did put at least a little something up.

This is why it’s a compulsion, I suppose.

Today’s prompt was an urge to have a video conference with friends on something like Google Hnagouts, Zoom, FB Live, whatever.

Nobody really wants to see me, but I suppose there is something that someone might want to hear my ever-slowing speech.

On Friday nights, as all this has been going on, the HR Geeks folks have been getting together on Jitsi.

It was fun enough that I decided to drop some cash to buy a webcam I can use with this wheezing PC I have.

But it’s tomorrow night. Did I really meet the challenge for the day? (Yes, I said that I did in the self-scoring. After all, it is a different platform, maybe less open to random interlopers. Really. Nobody wants to see that, bro. Seriously. Because there’s something wrong with me, I can’t help but think of Fight Club when I hear stories like this on the news.)

The second half of the month is underway, and I feel like I should feel more shut-in. But I don’t.

And for whatever reason, although I’ve removed my CV from pretty much every job site, I can’t get the arts major corporate recruiters to go away.

Yes, I’ve got the skills you’re looking for. No, you don’t have the situation I’m looking for. I will negotiate, but with every single thing that’s not completely what I want, it’s going to cost you more money. I don’t have a lot of time or energy left.

Today’s thing was on meditation. I’ve not yet actually watched the somewhat in-artfully-linked video that went with it.

Do I meditate? No, not really. I’ve never been good at taking time to calm myself that way.

I do try to collect my thoughts, perhaps do some breathing, but I’ve never really been about the close-your-eyes-and-say-om thing.

Today’s work challenge was some odd version of ASCII Art. With my bad eyesight, I couldn’t really see anything, despite repeated zooms in and out, and attempts to change my perspective physically.

I am going blind. It’s one of my symptoms. Is it frustrating? Abso-fucking-lutely. Maybe I could just ignore that fact, and would feel better, but things like that just reinforce it.

I started plunking away at this while listening, again, to a podcast that’s causing petulance. See this. Ignorance is bliss, maybe, but you shouldn’t strive for it. Even if it makes you happier. How’s that for “truthiness?”

I admit I was very worried about getting my last Tysabri infusion because of what might happen if I get COVID-19. I spoke to my neurologist, and she said to go ahead with it. Unsurprisingly, I feel a lot better after I finally got my “recharge.”

But the bigger point, the point the Pod host, and Chuck Todd don’t get, is that people can handle continuous updates on information, even if there’s some small variances.

I swear, officer, I didn’t know I was fifteen over. I mean, I checked the speedometer three minutes before you clocked me!

Yeah, GLWT.

Rant kinda derailed by work. I’m going to step aside for the afternoon.