If given the opportunity to see how different choices would effect your life, would you proceed with it?
Absolutely, not even a question. I would like to make sure of things because I do the “what-if” thing enough to drive myself crazy. So yeah, given the opportunity, I think I would totally do it.
The other thing is, it would be nice to know what else I should have done when I was younger, so I can learn from the mistakes that I have made in the past.
But I would really like to know if there is anyone who wouldn’t take advantage of something like that, if it was really possible.
Until tomorrow…
21
What inspires you to keep writing?
Right now? That I’m waiting for these repairmen to return, finish the job I hired them for.
More generally? It keeps me somewhat level. I can sit back, close my eyes, and pound something out.
For Novembers, it allows me to reflect some on where I am, correct mistakes I’ve made, and find some peace in time for the holidays.
The stretch from September of last year until July of this year is a complete blur. (Well, that’s the case of many, many things, on account of my failing vision, but….)
I think I still can do some quality work, although I have to approach things differently. Things really scream by. I hope that I haven’t disappointed too many people.
My desire for revenge is kind of gone. Things do occasionally pop up that I have to look into, dig back through my archives, and inquire whether there’s something that might bite me.
So much of what’s coming out in the news is about behavior I just can’t comprehend. Have I done things I regret? Absolutely. Is any nearly as bad as what (long string of celebrities) did?
Not by a longshot.
I still haven’t had the opportunity to delve into stuff from 2012 thoroughly. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Friday Who knows? For tomorrow: How do you feel about people’s need to post every detail of their relationships on social media? Are you guilty?
11.20.17
Have you ever had someone tell you not to do something, only to turn around and tell someone else to do it?
Yes. There was a time when I was younger that I was not in a good place mentally. Maybe it is just regular teenager stuff, but I thought there was something very wrong with me and wanted to talk to someone about it.
Told this to someone I trusted, and they told me it was stupid because it would place a stigma on me for the rest of my life.
Fast forward a few years, and this same person is telling someone else that if they feel like something is wrong, they should go talk to someone. No talk or stigma and no hesitation.
What I have learned from this experience is to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself against most people. There are only a few chosen people who I let my guard down for completely.
Until tomorrow…
11.19.17
Do other people try to control you?
Yes, all the time it seems. Even strangers seem to think that they have the ability to tell me what to do. I have Thanksgiving plans, but I should change them to accommodate someone else. How about no?
I am always getting told what the best way to do something is or how my way of doing things is the wrong way. No, most often it isn’t wrong, you yourself just don’t do it that way. If you have a genuinely good way of doing something, I will consider it. If not I will continue to do it my way and you can go away.
Until tomorrow…
20
I was reminded to write this after participating in discussions with people at the office.
Oh yea! I need to write aobut that1
*checks football games*
Well, the Vikings-Lions game will probably be good, at least.
I am going to cook a turkey on the grill. Going for the whiskey sour sorta glaze.
It also gives me an opportunity to use the flavor injector I bought years ago.
Butter
Sour Mix
Bourbon
Sugar
Indirect heat, with the grill temperature at about 350, and use the grill just like an oven.
Hickory to smoke.
Yeah, that’s what I’d plunked out when i had a minute. I was going to elaborate more after I took a nap, but recruiters have been blowing up my phone really since I got out of the office.
I guess it’s nice to feel wanted, but neither gives me a big charge, honestly.
I have no idea what I might want to write about tomorrow. So, to my stash of prompts, most courtesy my wife……
What inspires you to keep writing?
19
Resampling more, but here goes.
NoJoMo Day 5 – 11/5/2012
Double duty again today, because I would like to say a little about each.
1. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Both? Do you wish you could have more of the other characteristic?
I’m terribly introverted. Have been since about puberty. Some of it is related to how physically unattractive I view myself as (fat kid syndrome). Some of it has to do with a low overall opinion of many others.
At the same time, very few people understand what makes me tick. Fewer, still, agree with me. Whether that makes me disagreeable is up to you. If you don’t wish to keep my company, whatever. The reverse is also true.
I don’t feel obligations to some people that I probably should. Especially those who don’t even attempt to understand what it is I’m going through. No, I can’t stand in one place for five minutes without wobbling. Yes, I used to be able to march in a straight line; I can’t anymore.
There’s nothing that’s going to fix me. There’s not even really anything that’ll make life halfway normal. How the hell can you explain to someone who’s never experienced it what it’s like to have to remember to breathe? How do you explain to someone that there’s no glasses that’ll make your eyes work better?
This is just not stuff most people can comprehend. But it’s reality for me.
2. If your younger self could time travel and meet the you of today, what would they think of you? What would you tell your younger self?
See the answer to question number one, but….
You’re a jerk. A complete assholekneebiter. Use that to get them to figure out what the hell is wrong with you when you’re 22 instead of 30.
Maybe you’re being self-destructive right now; don’t worry so much about it. Have a little fun, asshole. You’re too old for your age. Enjoy being what you are; you’ve only got one chance at it.</p
Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Both? Do you wish you could have more of the other characteristic?
Still very introverted. Who wants to speak to an ugly guy with a cane, anyway?
I do stand up for myself more than I would have when I was younger, though. In a work situation, I can concentrate more on quality. If something is being done incorrectly, I’m going to say something about it.
If your younger self could time travel and meet the you of today, what would they think of you? What would you tell your younger self?
I don’t know. I probably would tell myself to rent from the bankbuy a house I couldn’t afford at the peak of the first housing bubble. I certainly wouldn’t have paid more in Federal Income Tax in 2009 than I grossed in 2003. Pay close attention to what I said, there. No, I’m not talking about “payroll taxes.” Income Tax.
Tomorrow, I’ll detail my Thanksgiving plans. On Friday, I’ll detail how things went.
11.18.17
Opinion piece: Gun control and illegal drugs
Recently there has been more talk on gun control, due to the shootings in the past couple months.
Tonight on the news, they were talking about a 12-year-old girl who is suing AG Jeff Sessions because she was forced to move to Colorado so she could get cannabis oil for epilepsy. She wants to make it legal to have in all states so she and her family can move back to Texas.
Sessions argument against legalizing drugs like marijuana is that people will start selling it on street corners if it is legal (yes, he is that out of touch with reality).
This got me thinking about the possible gun control laws that want to ban all guns. In my opinion, if you make true ban laws for guns, what you are essentially doing is making it so law-abiding citizens have to jump through hoops to get what they need, but the bad guys will still be able to get guns easily, because they don’t follow the proper outlets to get them. This will put citizens at a greater risk and may lead to more of these mass shootings.
Until tomorrow…
11.17.17
Free write
Was going to use today as a ranting day, but then things turned out to be good today. I was sent an email stating that I was invited to an interview that I originally thought I had no chance at. In the government. In my dream city.
Holy Shit…this is happening.
I really don’t even know what to think right now because I am trying not to get ahead of myself and expect more than I can hope to receive. But…
HOLY SHIT!!!
Until tomorrow…
17
Today’s key? Traceability. If you call me on something, and I make an assertion, rest assured I will back it up.
Recycling more……
NoJoMo Day 4 – 11/4/2012
Since I don’t have a tome for either, I’ll try to address both writing prompts. Instead of an extra hour of sleep, I’ll attempt an extra few minutes of writing.
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
At this point, normalcy. It’s very absent for anyone with somewhat fragile health. I have my soulmate. I had professional potential (though I have my doubts about it since my vision started going). The routines in life, however, are gone — possibly forever. I can’t know on a day-to-day basis how I’m going to feel, whether I’ll be up to whatever I have planned.
That’s put a strain on many other relationships I had. My wife is understanding; she sees what’s going on. Others don’t. But I don’t look sick! Yeah, and you don’t look stupid; looks can be deceiving.
I don’t feel comfortable around other family members for other reasons, too. There’s been a lot of bereavement in the past few years. Nothing, other than this little apartment with my wife, feels like “home.” When we stayed with my mom last year during Irene, it just felt strange. Visiting my grandfather and uncle after my dad died felt strange.
Thanksgiving with her parents will be a bit more comfortable (I am starting to feel a bit more at home at her parents’ place…..it has taken six years, but….), but I’ll be worried about what my mom is doing.
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs.
Uhhh…..<b>I have MS</b>. I have lots of “strange” things. Some of them aren’t terribly noticable if you’re not paying attention. My left foot doesn’t point straight ahead. My gait is weird. I can’t run at all. My eyes do weird dances. Restless Leg Syndrome? Uh, no. But I do have similar twitches.
I also have “angry hands.” I do do this thing where I interlace my fingers when I’m frustrated with something.<hr>
*yawn*
Yeah, time to post up, and try to sleep. Aint’s aren’t until Monday night. But watching Eli Manning beat the Falcons will suffice.
1. What do you desire most in your life? What is holding you back from obtaining or achieving your heart’s desire?
Last time, I said, “normalcy.” If I’d known then what I know now, I don’t know that I would have wished for something different, really. I was completely consumed with my health, not taking into account that on some of the important parts of life, I did have normalcy.
Now, though, I’m aiming to get back to where I was then, financially. I’m still earning less money than I did then. I’m not at all secure, financially. At the same time, what I’m ready for is something new and satisfying. What I’m doing now is somewhat related to one of my stops in the intervening years. But it still is a fucking cesspool Though my main problem before is gone, his mentality pervades.
It takes time to win hearts and minds; will I be able to do it? Do I have the stamina?
2. What is your strangest tic or habit? For example feeling compelled to sniff your food before eating it or always counting steps when you go up or down stairs
Since the last time, I’ve started carrying a cane. I really have problems going down stairs, as my balance is wonky, and I can’t feel my feet. I also need to tilt my head to the right in order to be able to walk in a straight line. The angry hands have subsided a lot. A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I often have my hands above my head to stretch my diaphragm.
11.16.17
Do you feel the need to have an opinion on everything?
No, I don’t. I don’t know everything about everything, so I don’t feel the need to have an opinion on everything. I feel as though people who have opinions on everything have a passion for nothing. The old saying “Stand for something or fall for anything” comes to mind.
There are people who will have opinions on everything based on second hand information. If you want to have a convincing opinion, you need to do the research yourself. Just repeating what someone said doesn’t make it valid or true. The internet and media are full of people who “know” things. So and so told them, so it’s true.
Can’t be bothered to do the research for yourself can you? Nope.
Until tomorrow…